Woaah Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm sorry for lenght but I want to tell all the details. I've known this girl a very long time, but I only started talking to her 6 months ago or so. Nothing really happened during that time since she had a boyfriend, but I could notice there was ''something there''. A month ago all of us went to a bar, the boyfriend came too, when the party was kind of over they got into this big fight involving me. He wanted her to come to his house but she wanted to go to a club with me. She refused to go along with him so we went in, from then on we got pretty intimate, holding eachother dancing etc, for 3 hours straight. I can recall a kisses on the lips here and there too, no making out or anything like that though. We were both drunk she just had a fight so I didn't dream of her being interested in me. I thought of it as a one time thing. Until she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks after it happened. I just told her I'm sorry to hear they broke up and just gave her some space for a while. Lately we are starting to hang out again and what I thought was a ''one time thing'' now happens almost everytime I see her, she almost always has her arms around me and we are very close most of the time. Even when guys are asking for her number she goes out of her way to tell me she gave them a false number. I even get random guys coming up to me saying I have a really hot girlfriend so I think it's obvious to others too. I don't want to ask her out for a date just yet, because we have a really close group of friends including her still pissed off and upset ex-boyfriend. That, and she just got out of a 2 year relationship. I'm head over heels and I can't stop thinking about her, she's absolutly gorgeous and she is infact the nicest person I've ever met. The downside of that is that there's a chance that she's just being friendly with me. Any advice on this one?
Woody1 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Judging from that it sounds as though she is interested . You did the right thing giving her a bit of space when she broke with her boyfriend, hopefully she'll appreciate that. For your sake i hope you've not entered the dreaded 'friend zone'.
datingsites Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'd say definatey interested - I can recall a similar situation myself (without the ex involved ) Anyway you can go out with just her (losing the friends) to a few places; pub, cinema, bowling - as friends. If the odd drink gets you both talking a bit more about each other without the awkwardness may open up the feelings in both of you which you can then bounce on and take further... .....just my tu'pence worth but from the sounds of it don't lose sight of this one, and may want to srike before she relies on you t heavily as a friend - maybe a difficult one to break
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm sorry for lenght but I want to tell all the details. I've known this girl a very long time, but I only started talking to her 6 months ago or so. Nothing really happened during that time since she had a boyfriend, but I could notice there was ''something there''. A month ago all of us went to a bar, the boyfriend came too, when the party was kind of over they got into this big fight involving me. He wanted her to come to his house but she wanted to go to a club with me. She refused to go along with him so we went in, from then on we got pretty intimate, holding eachother dancing etc, for 3 hours straight. I can recall a kisses on the lips here and there too, no making out or anything like that though. We were both drunk she just had a fight so I didn't dream of her being interested in me. I thought of it as a one time thing. Until she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks after it happened. I just told her I'm sorry to hear they broke up and just gave her some space for a while. Lately we are starting to hang out again and what I thought was a ''one time thing'' now happens almost everytime I see her, she almost always has her arms around me and we are very close most of the time. Even when guys are asking for her number she goes out of her way to tell me she gave them a false number. I even get random guys coming up to me saying I have a really hot girlfriend so I think it's obvious to others too. I don't want to ask her out for a date just yet, because we have a really close group of friends including her still pissed off and upset ex-boyfriend. That, and she just got out of a 2 year relationship. I'm head over heels and I can't stop thinking about her, she's absolutly gorgeous and she is infact the nicest person I've ever met. The downside of that is that there's a chance that she's just being friendly with me. Any advice on this one? Dude. What are you waiting for, a flashing neon sign?! KISS HER.
Author Woaah Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Well she did invite me over to new years eve at her family so who knows... I just hope we will get some alone time eventually. I'm just scared to death for the friendzone, any ways to recognize it? When we do talk it's about pretty normal stuff like music etc. She doesn't talk to me about her problems or other guys. (well only ones she dislikes so far )
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Well she did invite me over to new years eve at her family so who knows... I just hope we will get some alone time eventually. I'm just scared to death for the friendzone, any ways to recognize it? When we do talk it's about pretty normal stuff like music etc. She doesn't talk to me about her problems or other guys. (well only ones she dislikes so far ) What you're doing NOW will put you in the friendzone. She has been very obvious with you that she's interested. If you don't grab your balls and make a move soon, she will think YOU'RE NOT INTERESTED. Trust me, kiss her before it's too late. You are doing this to yourself.
datingsites Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Friendzone is a difficult place to get out of but it normally consists of problems or other guys. You may be on the road but looks like you've got the option to take the next junction before being stuck on the highway. New Years Eve night at 11:59pm, great place to share a kiss....Happy New Year
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 This is what you do. HER - "So do you have any new year's resolutions?" YOU - "Just one." - KISS HER. Trust me, it'll work.
PlumPrincess Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Yeah, she's interested and you're not in the friend zone.
Author Woaah Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 I'll go to her place at new years eve and see how it goes, ofcourse her family will be there too. I'm not going to be TOO bold when her mom and dad are sitting next to her or something. I'll keep you updated!
MyNameIsJonas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 This is what you do. HER - "So do you have any new year's resolutions?" YOU - "Just one." - KISS HER. Trust me, it'll work. I recently watched this one movie on netflix which had a similar exchange that I may use one day. I'll share it with you for the benefit of society: You: "Do you trust me?" Her: "Yes" Kiss her. Earlier there was some distortion because of the recent breakup but you have made all of the right moves. She doesn't talk about her problems and she's making it clear that she isn't interested in other guys. Go for it!
Vasto_Lorde Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm sorry for lenght but I want to tell all the details. I've known this girl a very long time, but I only started talking to her 6 months ago or so. Nothing really happened during that time since she had a boyfriend, but I could notice there was ''something there''. A month ago all of us went to a bar, the boyfriend came too, when the party was kind of over they got into this big fight involving me. He wanted her to come to his house but she wanted to go to a club with me. She refused to go along with him so we went in, from then on we got pretty intimate, holding eachother dancing etc, for 3 hours straight. I can recall a kisses on the lips here and there too, no making out or anything like that though. We were both drunk she just had a fight so I didn't dream of her being interested in me. I thought of it as a one time thing. Until she broke up with her boyfriend a few weeks after it happened. I just told her I'm sorry to hear they broke up and just gave her some space for a while. Lately we are starting to hang out again and what I thought was a ''one time thing'' now happens almost everytime I see her, she almost always has her arms around me and we are very close most of the time. Even when guys are asking for her number she goes out of her way to tell me she gave them a false number. I even get random guys coming up to me saying I have a really hot girlfriend so I think it's obvious to others too. I don't want to ask her out for a date just yet, because we have a really close group of friends including her still pissed off and upset ex-boyfriend. That, and she just got out of a 2 year relationship. I'm head over heels and I can't stop thinking about her, she's absolutly gorgeous and she is infact the nicest person I've ever met. The downside of that is that there's a chance that she's just being friendly with me. Any advice on this one? It's all well and good mate but just be careful so that you don't become the rebound guy.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm head over heels and I can't stop thinking about her, she's absolutly gorgeous and she is infact the nicest person I've ever met. The downside of that is that there's a chance that she's just being friendly with me. Any advice on this one? sorry but you are deep in the friendzone here. don't waste your time or energy with this one.
Author Woaah Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Really? I'm in the friendzone? Could you elaborate?
cognac Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 LOL! Looks just like me when I was in high school and wore glasses. However I've always known nothing is better.
alphamale Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Really? I'm in the friendzone? Could you elaborate? yes....she considers you as another girlfriend and therefore you'll never get into her pants.
MyNameIsJonas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Really? I'm in the friendzone? Could you elaborate? You are fine. The previous posters are just being horribly negative. The majority here thinks you are good to go. Don't talk yourself out of it because then it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy and you will be in the friendzone. It's like when you were 5 and went off the high dive for the first time. The more you think about it the less likely you are to jump off. Don't think about it and just make the dive....
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 sorry but you are deep in the friendzone here. don't waste your time or energy with this one. Wrong. Don't project your own insecurities onto someone else. Really? I'm in the friendzone? Could you elaborate? He's wrong. She has given you all the signs. If you end up stuck in the friendzone now, IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT.
PlumPrincess Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I don't know, why people tell you, you're in the friend zone. To me it sounds like she is interested. There's the slight possibility that she is one of these girls who are really immature and have lots of physical contact despite not being into the guy, but if she hasn't started to use you as her therapist to deal with the aftermath of the breakup and as long as she doesn't talk with you about other guys she likes,you should be fine.
Author Woaah Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Well I went to the new years eve party, and basically nothing happened, well nothing could happen because her whole family was around the entire time, I created alot of oportunities but she turned me down (well kind off) still she showed me some signs. I'm so confused with this girl right now. I think it didn't really mean anything and she is just a really flirty kind of girl. I'm pretty heartbroken right now, oh well time to get over her right?
PlumPrincess Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Well I went to the new years eve party, and basically nothing happened, well nothing could happen because her whole family was around the entire time, I created alot of oportunities but she turned me down (well kind off) still she showed me some signs. I'm so confused with this girl right now. I think it didn't really mean anything and she is just a really flirty kind of girl. I'm pretty heartbroken right now, oh well time to get over her right? I think the problem with anxious people who are in love is that they become very uncool and unattractive (and I'm not going to exclude myself here). The solution would be to back off a bit and calm down emotionally, which is a lot easier said than done, but pining for someone and driving oneself crazy with questions on how to win the other person over is not going to work. If you have already created opportunities and she didn't respond with a positive reaction, it's best to stop now. Running after her won't make her fall more in love with you and also, it always takes two people to have a relationship. Staying rational is the best thing to do and the hardest when you have strong emotions. But giving in to your emotions now, feeling depressed and sad, is definitely not going to win her over though, because it's simply unattractive. Have standards and be in control of yourself, that's more attractive.
Author Woaah Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 Well It's not like I was around her all the time, I just socialized with her fam and stuff like that. But she acted a bit cold towards me the entire evening, and actually purposely ignored me, stuff like sitting on the ground when I'm sitting on a half empty couch. A little weird considering she's the one that invited me. Oh well.
PlumPrincess Posted January 1, 2010 Posted January 1, 2010 Well It's not like I was around her all the time, I just socialized with her fam and stuff like that. But she acted a bit cold towards me the entire evening, and actually purposely ignored me, stuff like sitting on the ground when I'm sitting on a half empty couch. A little weird considering she's the one that invited me. Oh well. That doesn't really sound positive... I think if a guy was starting to get on my nerves and making me uncomfortable, I would appreciate it if he asked me directly, mentioning those specific instances where he thought I had felt uncomfortable. He would thus show sensitivity and maturity, which is always good, and I would feel free to tell him what was bothering me. Of course, she could approach you with this, but you will make it easier for her if you do the first step and she will appreciate that. I never had a guy who was into me and bugging the sh*t out of me because I was not interested, approach me in a mature manner to have a talk. In my opinion, his feelings for me are his problem that he should not impose on me and it actually pisses me of when I'm forced to deal with it and resolve it, because he's unable to do so. I'm trying to see it as a compliment when people are interested in me, I tell myself that I should be grateful, but the truth is, sometimes I'm really pissed off with these people. But it's also pretty easy to piss me off.
Author Woaah Posted January 1, 2010 Author Posted January 1, 2010 I didn't really expressed interest though, I'm the kind of guy which makes flirty jokes with girls all the time and she knows that. Another thought that popped into my head is a conversation I had with a friend a day before. She was there too and somehow love came into subject, and he asked me if I had my eye on a girl, another friend instantly said a random name I brought up some time ago, and I wen't in on it, making stuff up how she has beautifull eyes and all that. Now it could be my imagination but during and after that convo she was very quiet, had a hard time smiling. This is a girl who laughs at the sound of a fart, so it was very noticable. Maybe she was interested but now thinks I'm a player or something?
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