Woody1 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) I've just joined this site and i've been needing to get this off my chest for a while now and i think this could be the right place. I just hope you can understand it because it's fairly complicated... I'll start at the begining and it was during Freshers week at University (for you Americans a week of going out and getting very drunk), i met this girl and we ended up sleeping together on the first night, but for me it was weird i really liked her. We exchanged numbers and continued to text every now and then for a about 2 months. I used to see her out and about and we always got on well. In this 2 months she was seeing some guy and i sort of felt a little bit of jealousy which is when i knew i had feelings for her. Eventually she text me saying she was no longer seeing this guy and we started to text more regularly and one night she invited me around to hers, we got on well as expected, watched some films and i slept at hers. (no sex) Were were seeing each other for about a week and she hit me with a bit of a bombshell to be honest. I made a joke about her having a big bum and taking up all the bed (which she doesn't have) and i think it was the next time i was sleeping at hers she went into detail about personal problems she's had which are now re-occuring. She told me she has bulemia, she makes her self sick because she's conscious of her weight all the time, the worst thing for me is she has a negative voice inside her head which forces her to do it, she had seen a proffesional about it a couple of years back and for some reason these things have returned since starting Univesity. Obviosuly my remarks didn't go down well and it made her even more conscious around me. Few days on i invite her round presuming everythings ok and she has with her a diary, she show's me her diary which for me it was one of the worst things i've ever read... Basically saying things like 'made my self sick twice this morning, it felt good, some blood came up'. I really didn't know what to say and she was really emotional, i sort of realised it was serious. She then tells me she can't see me anymore because she feels to pressurised around me and she can't get solve her problems with me in her life. This killed me at first because i thought we was really getting somewhere, closing in on a relationship possibly... So we stopped seeing each other and i was really down for a week or so, i hated having nobody there and i missed her to be honest...Just recently we have been texting a lot and seeing each other a couple of times and she seems more comfortable around me but her friends hate me... Basically last time she had these problems her friends helped her out of it with support etc, and they think my comments have made her ill again, which i feel is harsh, how was i supposed to know she would get so offended? Anyway i saw her today we kissed and stuff because she's going away tomorrow but she still feels awkward about seeing me because she's scared of what her friends will think... I'm hoping when she gets back we can continue back on track and maybe i'll be more careful with my mouth. I really do like her and i think about her all the time, and i've been told she feels the same way. I just needed somewhere to post this and i wonder what your thoughts are... This is me and her by the way, excuse the red paint i was a devil Edited December 28, 2009 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
littlebittle Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 This reminds me a little bit of a friend of mine. I'm a girl, and one of my closest friends has suffered from an eating disorder for a few years now. When I first met her, I had no idea. She's not super skinny, she just has a normal body. Before I knew about her past with bulimia, I would talk about food regularly. I would make jokes about weight or comment on other people's weight occasionally (I never said anything about her weight, of course). Eventually she told me about her eating disorder, and I realized that even little comments about other people's weight had a negative impact on her. She's been through a lot of counseling, and she'd doing better, but even now she still bristles at the mention of anything weight-related. I think it's sort of hard to understand if you haven't personally dealt with it, I know it was surprising and confusing for me at first. People with eating disorders or body dysmorphic disorder are acutely aware of how they perceive their bodies to look to others. Imagine the thing that you are most self-conscious about on your body, and then imagine being obsessed with that one thing all of the time. That's how it is for my friend and her weight. She isn't even a little bit fat, but she thinks she is, and she thinks everyone else sees what she sees. It would be good if you read more about eating disorders and body dysmorphic disorder if you want to get involved with this girl. Learn how to give healthy support, and be aware of the type of language you use around her.
Vasto_Lorde Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I've just joined this site and i've been needing to get this off my chest for a while now and i think this could be the right place. I just hope you can understand it because it's fairly complicated... I'll start at the begining and it was during Freshers week at University (for you Americans a week of going out and getting very drunk), i met this girl and we ended up sleeping together on the first night, but for me it was weird i really liked her. We exchanged numbers and continued to text every now and then for a about 2 months. I used to see her out and about and we always got on well. In this 2 months she was seeing some guy and i sort of felt a little bit of jealousy which is when i knew i had feelings for her. Eventually she text me saying she was no longer seeing this guy and we started to text more regularly and one night she invited me around to hers, we got on well as expected, watched some films and i slept at hers. (no sex) Were were seeing each other for about a week and she hit me with a bit of a bombshell to be honest. I made a joke about her having a big bum and taking up all the bed (which she doesn't have) and i think it was the next time i was sleeping at hers she went into detail about personal problems she's had which are now re-occuring. She told me she has bulemia, she makes her self sick because she's conscious of her weight all the time, the worst thing for me is she has a negative voice inside her head which forces her to do it, she had seen a proffesional about it a couple of years back and for some reason these things have returned since starting Univesity. Obviosuly my remarks didn't go down well and it made her even more conscious around me. Few days on i invite her round presuming everythings ok and she has with her a diary, she show's me her diary which for me it was one of the worst things i've ever read... Basically saying things like 'made my self sick twice this morning, it felt good, some blood came up'. I really didn't know what to say and she was really emotional, i sort of realised it was serious. She then tells me she can't see me anymore because she feels to pressurised around me and she can't get solve her problems with me in her life. This killed me at first because i thought we was really getting somewhere, closing in on a relationship possibly... So we stopped seeing each other and i was really down for a week or so, i hated having nobody there and i missed her to be honest...Just recently we have been texting a lot and seeing each other a couple of times and she seems more comfortable around me but her friends hate me... Basically last time she had these problems her friends helped her out of it with support etc, and they think my comments have made her ill again, which i feel is harsh, how was i supposed to know she would get so offended? Anyway i saw her today we kissed and stuff because she's going away tomorrow but she still feels awkward about seeing me because she's scared of what her friends will think... I'm hoping when she gets back we can continue back on track and maybe i'll be more careful with my mouth. I really do like her and i think about her all the time, and i've been told she feels the same way. I just needed somewhere to post this and i wonder what your thoughts are... This is me and her by the way, excuse the red paint i was a devil I think you need to give this a look-see http://www.helpguide.org/mental/eating_disorder_treatment.htm
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