thats what i said Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I used to like Lavalife when I first started online dating. I even paid to be a member back then. I meet lots of guys when I go out, but I still like having a profile. I find it's no different than real life. There are crazy people everywhere. I am very discerning now about who I talk to. I also do a full screening of them before meeting them. I didn't do that at first- I was a little naive, and I had some horrible dates as a result. D-Lish, what do you do to screen these guys? I'm really curious as I'm trying to be more careful but am not sure how to properly screen some of these guys and so wind up going out with some real crazies
jw90063 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 This thread makes me want to remove my profile. Kind of scared at who's seen my picture on there. Heck, even if I met a decent guy, would be embarrassed if someone found out it was from POF. Of course, that's why you make up something else and don't tell them.
stapelfahrer drew Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Speaking of POF, the forums over there are just sad. Everyone seems so bitter and angry. I don't know what it is about that particular website but having seen other forums where they discuss relationships (such as this one), they take the cake for the most hateful people out there.
Mattock5656 Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 lol. POF is the bottom of the barrel. There are better free ones out there like OKCupid. Interestingly enough, I had more success on POF than Okcupid. I re-did my profile a couple times on Okcupid, said interesting comments etc and I got like a 20 percent response rate. Then, I went on POF and put half the effort in my profile and had a much higher response rate. Isn't that weird? Okcupid looks better as a site than POF, although, I just can't click with anyone on there. Op, I do see your point, and the other ladies on here, of the retarded messages that guys probably send you. I know for a fact that the woman probably get alot more responses then the guys. Keep in mind, I've sent interesting tid-bits to people, about their profile or their interests (Not the typical cliche, "Whats up") and got no response. So, there are guys out their that try to put some effort towards these sites, but in the end its still a hit and miss. Of course, online dating has its advantages and disadvantages, but its a interesting feature.
Author D-Lish Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 D-Lish, what do you do to screen these guys? I'm really curious as I'm trying to be more careful but am not sure how to properly screen some of these guys and so wind up going out with some real crazies I insist on a lot of pictures and communication first. Sometimes I will insist on seeing them on cam. I like to correspond for at least a month before meeting. If someone can't be patient with that, I don't see it as a loss. I have outed a lot of deceptive people just from googling them and seeing their myspace or facebook with a married status. Can't do that anymore with the privacy laws. I find waiting to meet allows me time to get a vibe from communication. Especially on MSN. As for OK cupid- I have responded to one message, I don't think it's caught on in my area.
TheWatcher Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I have to commend D-Lish & others who actually put themselves out there on dating sites & such. I can't imagine having the confidence and self-esteem to do so. You would have to feel that your worthy of someone's time,affection,etc....to even think of doing such a thing.
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 well, i went on plentyoffish cuz my friend was pretty much begging me to cuz he didnt wanna do it alone. ive actually gotten tons of messages which for guys seems really hard to do...hes gotten 3 over 6 months. i got 7 today. most of the people are horrible and say weird things like..."wanna come over to my house tonight?" BUT ive actually gone out with two girls from there and they were actually pretty good...that being said...i chatted with them for about a month and did webcam before i actually went out with them. im pretty much guaranteeing that you would all think im a weirdo though so meh...
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I used to like Lavalife when I first started online dating. I even paid to be a member back then. I meet lots of guys when I go out, but I still like having a profile. I find it's no different than real life. There are crazy people everywhere. I am very discerning now about who I talk to. I also do a full screening of them before meeting them. I didn't do that at first- I was a little naive, and I had some horrible dates as a result. you look cute enough to me to date anyone you want to. why are you wasting your time w/ online dating? just go out and find someone you like & take it from there
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 you look cute enough to me to date anyone you want to. why are you wasting your time w/ online dating? just go out and find someone you like & take it from there i was thinking the exact same thing...if the pictures on these avatars are correct most of the girls here could....
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 i was thinking the exact same thing...if the pictures on these avatars are correct most of the girls here could.... have anyone they want?
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 no but get men...and prolly some good ones...
Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 you look cute enough to me to date anyone you want to. why are you wasting your time w/ online dating? just go out and find someone you like & take it from there D doesn't have a problem getting dates, that's for sure. I think for her - like most other attractive people - the problem isn't with getting a date, but with finding the right person.
MyNameIsJonas Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 D doesn't have a problem getting dates, that's for sure. I think for her - like most other attractive people - the problem isn't with getting a date, but with finding the right person. Or trying to find a guy who isn't a total drunken db and only looking for a hookup, which represents 99.99% of the male bar population past midnight on any given friday/saturday night. I know many women who have "active social night-lives" who are also on match just simply because they want to keep their dating lives and night-lives separate, if that makes any sense.
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 no but get men...and prolly some good ones... that's what i meant of course.
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 yeah ill agree meeting people at a bar is pretty whore-ible
skydiveaddict Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 hey d-lish: whichever girl you are in your avatar, believe me you wont have trouble getting dates. forget the on-line dating. you dont need it
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 hey d-lish: whichever girl you are in your avatar, believe me you wont have trouble getting dates. forget the on-line dating. you dont need it he meant...unless its with me...
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 so you are saying just because she is physically attractive, she would have no problems getting guys? it takes more than looks to win someone over. it takes more than looks to win someone over, but a date isnt winning someone over, its just a date. physical attraction is usually the first sign.
Author D-Lish Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 so you are saying just because she is physically attractive, she would have no problems getting guys? it takes more than looks to win someone over. yes, you are exactly right, it takes a whole lot more than physical attraction to win someone over! Two people finding one another physically attractive is merely a starting point.
TheWatcher Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Agreed Ed, finding dates is the easy part When you say finding dates is easy...do you mean for yourself personally or in general ? If you meant in general...I'd have to disagree...especially for the average guy. I have to give it to you & others who actually put themselves out there on dating sites & such. I can't imagine the level of self-esteem and confidence it takes to do so. Someone would have to feel that that they're worthy of someone's time,affection,etc.. & feel that you have something to offer a woman to even think of doing such a thing.
Author D-Lish Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 When you say finding dates is easy...do you mean for yourself personally or in general ? If you meant in general...I'd have to disagree...especially for the average guy. I have to give it to you & others who actually put themselves out there on dating sites & such. I can't imagine the level of self-esteem and confidence it takes to do so. Someone would have to feel that that they're worthy of someone's time,affection,etc.. & feel that you have something to offer a woman to even think of doing such a thing. Well how would you know unless you take the plunge and put yourself out there? I do get messaged a lot, yes. But I think guys play the odds game online and message the masses and reel in the catches that respond. I find more and more with facebook, a friend will suggest me friending a guy she knows, perhaps from work or a fringe social group. I have a date planned through that method- and it feels safer because my friend has endorsed this person as she knows him. You've got to put yourself out there though- and at least present yourself with confidence.
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 yeah its way harder for guys...not impossible though, just have some confidence and go out and get it, if you really want it.
Crazy Magnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I'm the same way as D. I've never had a problem getting a date, yet I've decided to try online dating. I get quite a few messages every day on the two free sights, and probably half my matches have sent me their questions. I'd say I'm cute, and I'm also an excellent writer, so making a profile is very easy for me. What's hard is finding the guys who really DO want commitment (in the long term sense) while avoiding the ones who are just out for sex. I've never picked up guys in bars, my professional circle is too small to tick anyone off, and all of my friends are married, with more married friends. Online is the best place to meet a large variety of men that I might "click" with. D---about that chemistry. Here's what I do....if the date was good in every way but the chemistry, I will go for a second, and even third date. Sometimes, once a genuine personality has a chance to shine, and first date gitters are gone, I can start to generate some chemistry with a person that didn't have an instant click. After the third date or so, if I can't picture the guy naked, I don't go out with them again. I guess, in essence, my question isn't "do I feel a click" but "can I see myself naked with this person in the future." It's helped me to look at things from that perspective. I get way more weirdo's on POF than OKC or eHarmony. Actually, all of my best dates have been from eHarmony. I have found a few diamonds in the tough on POF. I can't say that dating chemistry is there, but they seem like genuine people, and I can at least see myself as a friend. I adore online dating. If it doesn't work, there's always another one!!!
Crazy Magnet Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Also, for those discussing online dating and self confidence. yeah....it takes balls to show up and meet somebody you've never seen before. I've been trying to get my cousin to get online, but she claims she doesn't have the confidence to do it. I don't get it, because her personality is one of those contagious kinds! She's amazing! :/
edward-e Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 i dont see what the big deal is....u show up if it sucks u say well f**k it and go for another one...
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