waxecstatic Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I have been dating this girl for over a month, and we have gone out 4 times. At this point, I feel I am probably at a turning point from a dating relationship to an actual serious relationship. However, I've noticed a distinct change in her behavior. Last week, after we had gone out 3 times, she told me she was depressed and wanted to see me. This really doesn't sound like an act you'd place upon someone with whom you are only dating. It sounds more like something you'd do with someone you are close to, like someone with whom you're in a relationship, and we weren't, and aren't. She said she saw a guy who she met years ago and really didn't like him. I don't know what connection she has to him, and didn't ask. I don't know if she had just had a crummy date and wanted a lift from me. But whatever it was, it definitely threw up some kind of a signal. More recently, she canceled a date with me that she herself had set up. And it happened less than 24 hours after she had made plans with me. Her reason, and if this isn't an egregious display of poor judgment, then I don't know what is: She had made plans with another guy and canceled them, and so she felt that if she had gone out with me then she would feel guilty. I'm not kidding. She actually told me that she could not go out with me because she made plans with another guy and had some kind of a guilty conscience. Well, two wrong don't make a right. I just brushed it off and didn't let it get to me. Of course, later that same day, she is texting me again. Today, I noticed she is playfully flirting with another guy, perhaps someone she just met or has been concurrently seeing, and she is doing so via Facebook. This is probably the worst way to keep another relationship under wraps because obviously I can see the correspondence without her even knowing, or asking. She wrote on his wall "just want to bug you. woot woot" to which he replied "I think I will keep you ;" Another notable act is that she asked me about my New Year's Eve plans and mentioned she does not want to be home alone that night. When I told her that I was going to a party and she was welcome to come, she said she does not do well in large groups. I told her we could just stop by, and then she said "I'll think about it." Well if you aren't sure about wanting to be with me, regardless of the concessions I make, why are you asking me at all? So there are obviously some signs she is playing me. But how? Is she trying to make me jealous? Take the relationship to the next level? Does she want me to make a move? I like her but this behavior makes me think twice about her. I really don't like someone who messes with my head. What's the best course of action for me to take? Any advice is greatly appreciated.
DustySaltus Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Wax, you have to decide if you want to be in a serious relationship with this girl sooner than later. You can't have it both ways. What do you want and what does she want? She's obviously sending some signals to you that she wants a relationship. Stop playing games and make a decision. Be assertive about NYE plans if that's what you want. Just be upfront and honest and you can't go wrong. She isn't playing you by the way, you aren't in a relationship. It's up to you to see what the next step is.
meerkat stew Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I stopped after the date cancellation reasoning. Dump and move fast, this one is no keeper. If you stay with this one, she will abuse your mind with similar feats of unreason and illogic for the duration of the relationship.
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