bberryguy Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 So here's the scenario, my girlfriend and I have know each other for over ten years. This year we've really grown a great friendship that progressed into physical and emotional attraction that was consumated several times but didn't really move into what could be described as truly seeing each other until about three months ago at which point one could truly describe it as dating. About a month ago she wanted to move us into relationship territory and I agreed. I've actually wanted things that way for awhile - which I'm pretty sure she knew. About a month and a half ago (already knowing I loved her) I made plans for an evening later this week. My philosophy was do something that showed her I loved her rather than tell her. Actions speak louder than words. I picked an activity based on what I know about her that is sure to be a royal hit. I've verified this with one of her friends who is pretty confident she will be blown away. So I'm thinking after she finds out what we're doing (that night) and we're mid evening, I might drop the 'L' bomb. What do you think? Too much? Too soon? Also a little concerned that while she may love me (pretty sure she does - her friend seemed to hint at it) she's not the most open person about her feelings and I have tended to be the one that is more transparent about how I feel about her and our dating and relationship as things have progressed. I'm not really worried about how she feels seeing as she is the one who solidified things, but dropping the 'L' bomb can be a big risk. Thoughts?
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 that's a tough call... with my last GF, we were just laying in bed, talking, cuddling, kissing and I looked at her and said "i think im falling in love with you"...it was totally natural and not planned. she said the same. it's also a cop out because you aren't saying flat out 'i love you'....but it was the 100% truth. I thought I was...and I was and did! only you can tell when its right.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 NO WAY!!! Are you kidding me? This is super romantic, you guys have known each other for 10 yrs have started dating recently and she pushed to have a relationship, please you both know it. It's just got to get out there. Release the hounds, release the hounds!!! Ooooh update us with the outcome, I love your story!
thatguy85 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Tell her you love her, then immediately follow that up with "just kidding!" then laugh for like 5 continuous seconds and then say "no but seriously i love you". Ok bad jokes aside I think it's cool for you to do it now...
D-Lish Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's not too soon at all! Sounds like perfect timing.
Woody1 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I've been seeing this girl for a while now and we are really, really close. One drunken night i dropped the 'love you' in a text and the next morning she asked me why i said it, i just blamed alcohol. She sounds like your girl, she's not into the soppy stuff like myself
aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Oooo do it! And be sure to tell us how the night goes! Good luck!
sonicranger Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Even as a guy...this stuff is always fun and fun to talk about...ya know its the icing on the cake. I dropped the I love you this weekend but actually she did it first after me saying something to the affect of "I'm thinking about telling you something else but I don't want to sound crazy" to which she said "I love you too!" It was pretty awesome. Basically we're on the same page. Nervous about it but still feeling the same things at the same time. Go for it man, love is great. On top of that you're clearly a show-er of love and affection and if she enjoys receiving your actions then you're golden.
Star Gazer Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 NO WAY!!! Are you kidding me? This is super romantic, you guys have known each other for 10 yrs have started dating recently and she pushed to have a relationship, please you both know it. It's just got to get out there. Release the hounds, release the hounds!!! Ooooh update us with the outcome, I love your story! Ditto! My only recommendation would be to not PLAN on when you're going to say it, but just let it come out naturally.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 NO WAY!!! Are you kidding me? This is super romantic, you guys have known each other for 10 yrs have started dating recently and she pushed to have a relationship, please you both know it. It's just got to get out there. Release the hounds, release the hounds!!! Ooooh update us with the outcome, I love your story! PERFECT response. I totally agree! Go for it!
PinkToes Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 I agree with everyone else; it's time. Those are magical words, and I still remember quite fondly most of my first times. And if you start to feel uneasy during your evening with her, you can always fall back on the "I think I'm falling in love with you...." line, if it feels more natural in the moment. Definitely keep us posted!
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 So here's the scenario, my girlfriend and I have know each other for over ten years. This year we've really grown a great friendship that progressed into physical and emotional attraction that was consumated several times but didn't really move into what could be described as truly seeing each other until about three months ago at which point one could truly describe it as dating. About a month ago she wanted to move us into relationship territory and I agreed. I've actually wanted things that way for awhile - which I'm pretty sure she knew. About a month and a half ago (already knowing I loved her) I made plans for an evening later this week. My philosophy was do something that showed her I loved her rather than tell her. Actions speak louder than words. I picked an activity based on what I know about her that is sure to be a royal hit. I've verified this with one of her friends who is pretty confident she will be blown away. So I'm thinking after she finds out what we're doing (that night) and we're mid evening, I might drop the 'L' bomb. What do you think? Too much? Too soon? Also a little concerned that while she may love me (pretty sure she does - her friend seemed to hint at it) she's not the most open person about her feelings and I have tended to be the one that is more transparent about how I feel about her and our dating and relationship as things have progressed. I'm not really worried about how she feels seeing as she is the one who solidified things, but dropping the 'L' bomb can be a big risk. Thoughts? YES! Way too soon! Based on what you've described you are setting yourself up to make her very uncomfortable and for you to not hear it back. The parts in bold are what worry me. Wait a little while... What's the big rush??
Author bberryguy Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 YES! Way too soon! Based on what you've described you are setting yourself up to make her very uncomfortable and for you to not hear it back. The parts in bold are what worry me. Wait a little while... What's the big rush?? You hit the nail on the head. Those are my two primary concerns. I know she cares about me, but there's a risk in not hearing it back. Technically we've only had a relationship going about a month now - though we were pretty much dating exclusively for a couple months prior. Maybe she'll think it's too soon. Even worse, what if it scares her? She's been the slow moving one thus far - which is okay and is sensible. Oh and also she didn't "push" me into the relationship so much as she said she was read - knowing I was already ready.
Phateless Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 You hit the nail on the head. Those are my two primary concerns. I know she cares about me, but there's a risk in not hearing it back. Technically we've only had a relationship going about a month now - though we were pretty much dating exclusively for a couple months prior. Maybe she'll think it's too soon. Even worse, what if it scares her? She's been the slow moving one thus far - which is okay and is sensible. Oh and also she didn't "push" me into the relationship so much as she said she was read - knowing I was already ready. You have to trust your instincts on this one. My gf said it before I was ready and it made me really uncomfortable. Seriously, what's the big hurry? It sounds like you already know this is a bad idea but you're trying to force this prematurely. Better to move a shade too slow than a shade too fast.
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