kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Recently broken hearted teacher on vacation needs some responses or comments. this site has been great so far since I started posting Saturday. I wish like hell I was at work Here are the things bothering me or giving me anxiety to think about today ESTABLISHING A NEW RELATIONSHIP! Me and my ex were so compatible-personality, sex wise, and outlook on life. For eight years-rarely an argument. Now I'm going to have to worry about trying to find a t least half of that compatibility. Its like Sisyphus rolling the rock uphill. I hap pushed it to the mountain top I was king of the world! Alas this past Saturday it came all the way back down This sucks, but at least I'm smiling or is that a deep cover up for true gut wrenching sadness?
gaudi Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 You know what, when I read some of the posts on here it can really sometimes put my own situation into perspective. Ex and I broke up after 2 years together, I can't begin to imagine where I would be if it'd happened to me after 8 years!!! Even so, a couple of years before I met my EX, I had my heart hung out to dry by another, I never ever thought I would be the same again, let alone meet someone who would match up to previous Ex. Never the less, it happened, on a day when I least expected it. A girl from work who I'd seen here and there for about 12 months, we ended up on the same team, and that was it. Saying that she is now EX number 2. Like you I wonder where the next wonderful person I let into my life will come from. But I have no doubt at all that she will come, and yours will too.
lostboyuk Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 The only people out here are the rest of us recently broken hearted people trying to smile to cover up the 'true gut wrenching sadness'. I suppose it seems a little soon to be thinking about starting a new relationship but maybe that's a good sign?! I know I thought about it lots and my only conclusion was I could never feel the same way again and I still feel the same right now, but I'm thinking that feeling will probably not last forever. I've rolled the rock to the top of the mountain 3 times in 3 months, think I'll stay at the bottom for a while and have a snooze and a bite to eat!
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Maybe I will be looking for just company or companionship. I wanted to stay in NY teaching , BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT the now ex girl wanted to move to a warmer climate 2 years ago, well because of my love and devotion to her and whatever makes her happy- yadda yadda yadda-I'm in North Carolina-few family members very few acquaintances or friends are around. I think I just want to hang out with some females, BUT I'm freaking 43 years old what do 43 years do but go to a bar and look creepy as hell or god forbid a club and look so out of place. Would they even let me pass the velvet rope?
gaudi Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Oh right, I thought pubs and clubs only had a MINIMUM age limit, well you live and learn eh ?? Only messing mate. What makes you thing that they're the only type of place where you can meet females ?? Seriously widen your horizons my friend. There is a big wide world out there, and places where they serve any type of alcohol are not the best place for starting long lasting friendship/companionships. Night schools, activity clubs, bit of volunteer work, ever thought of any of these ?? At least the people you meet here will maybe share a common interest with you.
lostboyuk Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I'm getting close, 36 couple weeks back but most if not all of the advice on here suggests you look after you first. I did it when my GF broke up with me 1st time back in Sept. I got my ass back to the gym, ate better, etc. Sure it was partly to make the right impression with my ex as I'd not been myself of late but it sure made me feel much better anyway. Don't worry about age, I've recently had unexpected advances from much younger women (all turned down), look after yourself bro, you're only as old as you feel and with a low attitude about yourself you'll make yourself feel out of place!
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Hey hey hey hang on fellas. It is not that dour as I made it sound, It was more for the laughs and amelioration. I am already "doing the terminator" scanning for potentials, I am in good social settings, and I don't think 43 is the end of the world -it was more to purport, satirize and relate how our media has fixated us on the young, usually media stays away from the 40 something set unless they are doing that common article being 40 is the new 30 and so on! Nevertheless good advice! thanks
gaudi Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 See that's more like it, with age comes knowledge, and big words like AMELIORATION........ wonder what that means...
HeavenOrHell Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I'm a 43 year old female, I never found it hard to find someone new when I was younger, but I don't think anyone has so as much as looked at me the last 5 months (I was in an 18 year long relationship), so this isn't going to be easy Not that I would be ready for a while for another relationship, some dating would be nice though, not serious stuff I don't mean and I would make that clear to anyone I might meet. I've lost someone very special, we were very close and had/have a strong bond, I don't know if anyone will come close to what we had. Maybe I will be looking for just company or companionship. I wanted to stay in NY teaching , BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT the now ex girl wanted to move to a warmer climate 2 years ago, well because of my love and devotion to her and whatever makes her happy- yadda yadda yadda-I'm in North Carolina-few family members very few acquaintances or friends are around. I think I just want to hang out with some females, BUT I'm freaking 43 years old what do 43 years do but go to a bar and look creepy as hell or god forbid a club and look so out of place. Would they even let me pass the velvet rope?
sean1970 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I have recently started meeting people here... http://www.meetup.com/ They have groups in NC it seems...
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 I'm a 43 year old female, I never found it hard to find someone new when I was younger, but I don't think anyone has so as much as looked at me the last 5 months (I was in an 18 year long relationship), so this isn't going to be easy Not that I would be ready for a while for another relationship, some dating would be nice though, not serious stuff I don't mean and I would make that clear to anyone I might meet. I've lost someone very special, we were very close and had/have a strong bond, I don't know if anyone will come close to what we had. Nice to hear from a 40ish person. 18 years-damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was weeping over my 8 year relationship with my now ex girlfriend-that gives me perspective What is your story girl?-kids, profession don't answer if that creeps you out just wondering. This forum has been very cathartic to me particularly since I have so much freakin' time to think every minute about the ex!. No one will replace your lost-that's unrealistic. how do you cope?
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 I have recently started meeting people here... http://www.meetup.com/ They have groups in NC it seems... Those people look too damn happy on that site! I want to be a miserable, crotchety, SOB for a few days-like cursing out teenagers who walk on my lawn! you know I'm smiling while typing this!
sean1970 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Those people look too damn happy on that site! I want to be a miserable, crotchety, SOB for a few days-like cursing out teenagers who walk on my lawn! you know I'm smiling while typing this! I think there is a 'crotchety' group actually... They meet at 5:30 am to ensure they are both ornery and tired
nobmagnet Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 er no 7.30 bmt for my part! hello well i advice..................vodka and.....chackakhan! soz a joke true tho moving on is fun because its on OUR terms. We have learnt....grown and bettered. Our world is so f*cking big it is awsome! life.......you have one..........love.....you have many...................just dont rely on them for yourown happiness and them to you.........is that the meaning of life?????????? **** it is!!!!!!!!!!! hahha paitent.......where are you?????? make a bomb retire ahhhhhhh not so simple tho, heee hee
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 I think I got it straight from her when she said she doesn't envision the rest of her life with me as of Saturday morning. This is a deal breaker. Up until that day I never even had the hint she felt that way. I was thinking about planning our marriage since we have lived together for over 7 years. BUT, reconciliation now-wouldn't be forcing her to love me just like before. A flame has died out and I feel for the first time she doesn't feel like I do. For the first time she can express she doesn't feel "in love with me." I think that's a deal breaker.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 30, 2009 Posted December 30, 2009 8 years is a long time too! We were happy and solid for a long time, until I became heavily involved with animal care, it was 24/7, full on, did it from home and it took over our lives bit by bit, until he no longer felt loved or needed, he gave me good warning of how he felt at least 2 years ago, many times, I didn't take him seriously, he left in july. He has left me twice before, 9 years ago, before the animal care, we were in a rut, the 2nd time he came back we were more solid than ever. Especially as leaving made him realise how much he loved me still and couldn't live without me and would never leave me again, he said, many times. Yeah right. I don't believe in all this love c*** anymore. Nothing is solid if we've split up, we were once the most solid couple possible, I felt so lucky and thankful. We chose to not have kids, and we don't believe in marriage. Sometimes I don't cope, although my friends say I am strong, I don't always feel it, I have horrible relapses. Nice to hear from a 40ish person. 18 years-damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was weeping over my 8 year relationship with my now ex girlfriend-that gives me perspective What is your story girl?-kids, profession don't answer if that creeps you out just wondering. This forum has been very cathartic to me particularly since I have so much freakin' time to think every minute about the ex!. No one will replace your lost-that's unrealistic. how do you cope?
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