ms.ac Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 So this was a hard week to get through with christmas and everything, I ended up going by my ex's house to see his parents on xmas, I called first to make sure the coast was clear, it was really hard, even talking to his mom on the phone, both of us cried, and then going there both of us cried more, I'm not sure it was the best move but his family means a lot to me and i had presents for his niece's. He didn't spend Christmas with his parents being the great son he is and his mom just told me that she has had enough of him. He did some messed up stuff to me and they talked to me about the situation and his dad was telling me he had a talk with him about it and that he didn't like what he had to say, this bothered me because this probably just pushes him to want to be with this girl more and want to rebel more in the wrong he has done, his parents are not happy how he handled things and hate it because they are close to me. His dad said he was going to eventually come running back and it would be too late and his mom said it doesn't matter because you deserve better but of course I still feel horrible about everything because i truly love their son. His niece told me she was ugly lol.. she is 10 and kids are funny but she is also friends with my niece and stood over my sister's house and did stuff with us all weekend. my sister also dropped them off at his house and saw him, he was about to get out of his car but saw her car, put his head down and pretended to look for papers until she left. He talked to my niece about xmas and hearing this all makes me depressed. It's just so hard, and I miss him so much. I also think that he may be looking at me as "psycho" right now for going to his house although he knows how close i was with his family, im sure he tells this new girl i am crazy... and I am worried his niece will say things to him because she likes me and doesn't like what he is doing.. (not that she really knows exactly what is going on)... and this will push him closer to the new girl. His parents don't know her and his mom says this is definitely temporary, but what does she know. It just sucks cuz now im going to miss the family again, and I wonder if he is thinking of me because of seeing my family and knowing i was there... and if he is thinking of me in a good way or a bad way.. either way I shouldn't care.. i know.. any thoughts??
varaski Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 You were a brave women to go to his parents place, and deep down inside I think you were looking for something more than just a visit. Your actions tell me that you love thisguy, and that is noble and well kinda cute. But he is with someone else. i always treat people how you want to be treated. You would not like it if you had dumped him and he showed up at your parents place. Personally i'm not all that worried about people percieve me, but i do care about how i percieve myself. Bae you need to look in the mirror and ask some serious questions and give yourself some serious answers. Why did I really go there. What message does these actions send? Is it profitable? If he wants to be with you it will be because HE wants to do so. Not because of anything you have done or have not done. I say get the heck out of the way. Whats even more funny to me is the fact that NC really brings out the truths. If you want to get an update on him and his girl, tell yourself the truth and make a call with that in mind, otherwise you are lying to yourself and that in itself is just...... crazy. Time does heal wounds and distance keeps us from making a fool of ourselves. Use em both accordingly. When people tell you to work on yourself, that is the GOLDEN key to happiness. But what they don't tell you is working on yourself for the sakes of another person is void, it does not work at all. Work on yourself FOR YOURSELF. Them the whole world will bend towards you and not away from you.
Author ms.ac Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 You were a brave women to go to his parents place, and deep down inside I think you were looking for something more than just a visit. Your actions tell me that you love thisguy, and that is noble and well kinda cute. But he is with someone else. i always treat people how you want to be treated. . I do love this guy, we were together for 5 years and he recently did some messed up stuff to me. Why did I go to his parents house, it truly is because I am close to his family. He was not there, and I knew he wouldnt be, I knew his family didnt know about the girl just that there was one, and I knew that his family missed me. I was not going to go there but even when we were talking and hanging a month ago and i didnt know about the girl i was really upset about not seeing his family, he said i was being a baby. The reason I'm so close to his family is because he lives with them and has for the last 5 years I have been with him, they have been there. We are not 15 and 16, I am 23 and he is 25, he hasnt moved out of his parents house. Maybe there was also other reasons I went too, because I longed being in the familiar place and I miss him too. I dont plan on going there any time soon or even at all but I knew that this would probably be my last chance to see his parents. His parents wanted me there too it is not a one sided deal. I think that that is one hard thing about break-ups, sometimes you dont just lose the love of your life, you lose your family. I say we are not 15 and 16 because you talk like I am, I respect your opinion and advice more than you know but i dont think its cute that i love him, it is not cute at all, I am heartbroken that this person that supposedly cared and loved me could do such a horrible thing, not just break up with me but make sure he ripped my heart out while doing it, no need to go in detail as i have already posted the whole situation, I know that there is no where to go but up from here. I am glad i got to see them one last time, just sad to let go. But i guess after i did it i missed him and wondered if he was thinking about at this time, maybe maybe not...
gaudi Posted December 29, 2009 Posted December 29, 2009 Visting his family isn't exactly a bad choice as such. As long as the only reason you visited them was pretty much to say goodbye/no hard feelings/whatever. I know what you mean on this subject though. My EX lived in a house with just her and her Mum, subsequently, during our relationship, I spent a hell of a lot of time there (great times too) and the whole set up ended up feeling like my second family, which I loved. Now that she's gone, and that whole other part of my life too, I'm absolutely gutted. I would love to be able to say goodbye to her Mum, but I know that all the stuff that's happened between us, it wouldn't help. And I would be clinging onto something that I should be looking at walking away from. Don't really know what I'm trying to say here. But the fact that you don't just lose the one you love, when you said you lose your family too......it just resonates with me and my situation. I feel for you. I'm in the same place.....Good Luck x
Author ms.ac Posted December 29, 2009 Author Posted December 29, 2009 Visting his family isn't exactly a bad choice as such. As long as the only reason you visited them was pretty much to say goodbye/no hard feelings/whatever. I know what you mean on this subject though. My EX lived in a house with just her and her Mum, subsequently, during our relationship, I spent a hell of a lot of time there (great times too) and the whole set up ended up feeling like my second family, which I loved. Now that she's gone, and that whole other part of my life too, I'm absolutely gutted. I would love to be able to say goodbye to her Mum, but I know that all the stuff that's happened between us, it wouldn't help. And I would be clinging onto something that I should be looking at walking away from. Don't really know what I'm trying to say here. But the fact that you don't just lose the one you love, when you said you lose your family too......it just resonates with me and my situation. I feel for you. I'm in the same place.....Good Luck x exactly, everything just happened last month so it's still pretty fresh, i have been going through a lot and it took a lot to get me to go there because i didn't want to seem like i was going there for him, and i didn't want to hurt myself more by clinging, it sucks.. but i have to live with it, i just hope i didn't send him the message that he can still have me if he wanted and that i'm weak you know what i mean, because i want him to regret everything he has done... its true, i definitely lost my family and it hurts more because of this fact, and i know it hurts his family to watch their son hurt me... and i know they care about me, but the bottom line is that is their son, and i need to let them all go... i feel that his father yelling at him for what he has done will just make him want to rebel even more, and push him closer to this person, and farther from regretting what he has done
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