missyb Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I ended a relationship of 8 1/2 years about 4 months ago. The relationship had just run out of steam. We are still living together whilst we are trying to sell our home. We're getting on great and living more like housemates now to be honest. When I first decided to call time my ex was absolutely distraught for about 8 weeks but has since come out of it much stronger and I'm really proud of him. I on the other hand am now handling things very badly. At first I was quite blase over the whole thing and I think I'm being hit by delayed grief. I have also started seeing a great guy (who my ex doesn't know about) and he really is being very supportive and doing what he can to make me happy. Some days I'm absolutely fine but at the moment, especially as it's Christmas I'm finding things very very difficult to cope with. I cry a lot and my ex is brilliant with me telling how he felt at first and is telling me that things will get better for me. I feel like I'm in an emotional black hole. What upsets me most is that I know at some point I'm not gonna see my ex every day and at the moment us still living together is comforting but I also think it's making me worse. My new boyfriend is great in the fact that he knows exactly what I'm going through and says it takes as long as it takes and he's wanting to stick around no matter how long that is. How do I get myself out of this depression and mourning of something that once was and move on? I always thought I was a very strong person and I'm really disappointed in myself that actually I'm quite pathetic deep down
kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 First breaking up sucks!!!! The grief will always come back to hit you in the stomach on special occasions, memorable moments with your ex, and any type of music-picture-memento will just floor you! BUT the old adage as time past it will get much better-it is just that we can't propel ourselves 4 years into the future to that moment. By the way I just got on here and I am dealing with a breakup up of 8 years as well. Me and my girl lived together for that ;long and just two days ago said she fell out of love with. Crushed BUT coping as best as I can. My big problem I'm a teacher and I have a whole week off to myself to remind me of those above moments. This morning I tried something that works momentarily-the last great time we had together-it was at Virginia Beach-nothing special but it just makes me smile and happy and not sad for some crazy reason. And you know there are no answer to the deep excruciating hurt, just coping and using friends ideas, this forums for ideas, and relying on the best person-yourself! You have a new man in your life-that has to help tremendously! I just wonder how he is coping with you still getting over the ex So long!
gaudi Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Some days are better than others, I know that feeling, and when in it hurts there's nothing worse. Being in the dark place, where we've all been, (some of us, unfortunately, still there) is not good, but trust us, no-one stays there forever. You will become a stronger person. Of that I have no doubt. Take some time to heal, time just for yourself. We're all here for you, keep posting...you will find.....it really does help
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