PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Is smiling a good sign? Is it enough? There's this guy that I dig. When we dance together (salsa) he looks at me and smiles all the time, but things don't progress. The first time we met there seemed to be positive cues, but now... What more could I do? I don't think I want to get physical that quick, so I don't really want to do things like touching his knee, etc. to make him notice my interest. And I guess, it's a positive thing that he smiles back at me when I do?
Bejita463 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Well you are supposed to smile during dances, are you not? Do you speak with him when you are not dancing?
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) Well you are supposed to smile during dances, are you not? Do you speak with him when you are not dancing? Well, but most guys don't look at you all the time. Neither do I. And looking at you and smiling at the same time is something that most men don't do. We had a quick chat the first time, exchanged names and he asked me where I usually go dancing. We also talked the second time, but, well, we talked about dancing schools and nothing personal. I also felt a bit confused, because he sometimes would just get up and dance with someone else, without saying a word. And the third time, we were able to talk a bit before a friend of mine showed up and then another friend of his showed up and then... Things are a tiny bit weird and awkward. Edited December 28, 2009 by PlumPrincess
scenester Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Well, although smiling is a good sign it doesn't necesarily mean he has a thing for you. And if he does, he may be a shy/passive guy, which inturn, if you're still interested, then your best bet is prob making the first move and just talking to him already! Doesn't matter what you talk about aslong as you're confident, you'll be fine!
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Well, although smiling is a good sign it doesn't necesarily mean he has a thing for you. And if he does, he may be a shy/passive guy, which inturn, if you're still interested, then your best bet is prob making the first move and just talking to him already! Doesn't matter what you talk about aslong as you're confident, you'll be fine! I don't think he's shy. Ok, I guess, I must deal with the fact that he lost interest, because I still think there were positive cues during the first meeting. Usually when a guy smiled back at me, it was a good sign. But maybe he's just friendly.
Bejita463 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I don't think he's shy. Ok, I guess, I must deal with the fact that he lost interest, because I still think there were positive cues during the first meeting. Usually when a guy smiled back at me, it was a good sign. But maybe he's just friendly. Perhaps. It is also possible he doesn't think you are interested. I imagine it was him directing the conversation, so how much interest and participation did you show?
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Perhaps. It is also possible he doesn't think you are interested. I imagine it was him directing the conversation, so how much interest and participation did you show? No, the second time we talked about dance schools (I'm a beginner and he's more advanced) and I initiated the conversation after we danced. It's just the whole situation was a bit awkward, for me at least. The first time we were alone and the second time there were all kinds of people around us, friends we had in common, friends we did not have in common. Maybe it was not the best topic?
Chicago_Guy Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Is smiling a good sign? Is it enough? There's this guy that I dig. When we dance together (salsa) he looks at me and smiles all the time, but things don't progress. The first time we met there seemed to be positive cues, but now... What more could I do? I don't think I want to get physical that quick, so I don't really want to do things like touching his knee, etc. to make him notice my interest. And I guess, it's a positive thing that he smiles back at me when I do? Sometimes people instinctively quickly raise and then lower their eyebrows while smiling when they initially see someone whom they like. Has this guy ever done this when he first sees you at your salsa classes? Another thing to look for is whether he blushes a little bit when he is smiling at you, although that can be hard to notice.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 It just occurred to me, on Saturday I danced with three different guys and they all looked at me all the time and I think they were all a bit interested. One I had met a couple of days ago at another salsa party and he asked me twice that night. The other guy after a couple of dances asked me if he could ask me for another dance later. And the third one did ask me again later on. I don't know how to explain it, some people look at me while dancing and it makes me think they are interested or feel attracted and others probably also look at me, but it doesn't make me think this.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Sometimes people instinctively quickly raise and then lower their eyebrows while smiling when they initially see someone whom they like. Has this guy ever done this when he first sees you at your salsa classes? Another thing to look for is whether he blushes a little bit when he is smiling at you, although that can be hard to notice. Yeah, I think, I know what you mean. I have seen men do that, but in this case I don't know, because the first time he asked me for a dance I had my back turned to the dance floor while I was getting my stuff out from a pile of jackets and coats. I thought it was a positive sign that he still asked me, because it was pretty obvious that I was about to leave. What does the blushing mean?
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) touching that is all Ok, I guess, I could touch his hand when talking without making it look as if I want to become sexual with him right away. But what are other things I could do to show that I'm interested in him? Edited December 28, 2009 by PlumPrincess
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Ok, I guess, I could touch his hand when talking without making it look as if I want to become sexual with him right away. But what are other things I could do to show that I'm interested in him? touch his arms, eye contact, sit close, touch his thigh... none of that says "i want sex"...to me it means "im interested" my last girlfriend sat close and rested her arm on my leg our first couple of dates.... it was perfect. it was a clear sign to me that she was interested...i appreciated that.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 touch his arms, eye contact, sit close, touch his thigh... none of that says "i want sex"...to me it means "im interested" my last girlfriend sat close and rested her arm on my leg our first couple of dates.... it was perfect. it was a clear sign to me that she was interested...i appreciated that. Hmmm, ok. How were you guys sitting that she was able to rest her arm on your leg? Ok, I think, I need instructions to make it look natural and effortlessly and not creepy. I'm not used to touching people.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 on a couch, slightly turned towards each other...just talking. when she got excited she would put her arm/hand on my leg.....by then end of the night, it just kinda stayed there. hard to explain, but it was perfect. not too much at all.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Ok, I will try to create an exciting conversation and touch him. What a cunning plan.
Bejita463 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Ok, I will try to create an exciting conversation and touch him. What a cunning plan. You could also, if he says something that might be construed as teasing, do the classic shoulder push. You know, where you lean in and push the guy a little with your shoulder. That is decided flirty as well.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 dont think about it too much. let it flow. any chance you have to touch do it. poster above gave a good example, but instead of a push, do a grab and stroke.....of his upper arm
jerbear Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Here is something I've done. When a girl says her hands are cold, take her hands and help warm them up. She might be hesitant but you'll get an hint if she likes you.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Ok. I think, I first need to create some connection and a good conversation though. Anything else will just feel awkward and will look very clumsy. Come to think of it, I think I should try to imitate the last guy who touched me. He did a quite good job.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Here is something I've done. When a girl says her hands are cold, take her hands and help warm them up. She might be hesitant but you'll get an hint if she likes you. Not too bad either.
Author PlumPrincess Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Sometimes people instinctively quickly raise and then lower their eyebrows while smiling when they initially see someone whom they like. Has this guy ever done this when he first sees you at your salsa classes? Another thing to look for is whether he blushes a little bit when he is smiling at you, although that can be hard to notice. Oh, now I got what you meant. I didn't read your post properly. I don't think he ever did the eyebrow raising.
Vasto_Lorde Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Is smiling a good sign? Is it enough? There's this guy that I dig. When we dance together (salsa) he looks at me and smiles all the time, but things don't progress. The first time we met there seemed to be positive cues, but now... What more could I do? I don't think I want to get physical that quick, so I don't really want to do things like touching his knee, etc. to make him notice my interest. And I guess, it's a positive thing that he smiles back at me when I do? Good question. In my case, I won't know unless the lady tells me or makes a very overt gesture like talking to me or asking for contact information etc. I'm not very good at interpreting hints from women so I tend to err on the side of caution.
Chicago_Guy Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Yeah, I think, I know what you mean. I have seen men do that, but in this case I don't know, because the first time he asked me for a dance I had my back turned to the dance floor while I was getting my stuff out from a pile of jackets and coats. I thought it was a positive sign that he still asked me, because it was pretty obvious that I was about to leave. What does the blushing mean? Sometimes people blush if they are in close proximity to someone to whom they are very attracted.
meerkat stew Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Would steer clear of using dance class as a prospecting ground until you have some time and experience under your belt. Lots of scams going on in those places, and based on your posts, you sound really ripe for the picking, an easy mark.
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