singlegirl Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Awww bless you...the heart wants what it wants, try not to beat yourself up too much
CaliGuy Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Classic case of her keeping you on the back burner until she is 100% sure about the new guy. When she falls completely for the new guy, she will not contact you again. So your choice is to fake like your moving on until you make it OR wallow around in your own crapulence. Moving on with your life is a CHOICE. Nobody, not even her, is making you sit around and pine for her.
sedgwick Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 The only time it could possibly be a second chance, is when the dumper says "I made a huge mistake and I want you to forgive me, and give me a second chance." Anything else is just ambiguity, mind games, breadcrumbs and yanking the chain. I mean, really.... who wants to hear "You'll always have a special place in my heart"...? What you really want to hear, is "You ARE my heart, and without you, it will cease to beat". Anything less is just messing around with the head.... 100% agreed!!
LovelyDaze Posted January 3, 2010 Posted January 3, 2010 Although it might bring someone satisfaction to have the one that dumped them seek validation and pawn for them, in the end, the most respectable attitude is to bid them farewell and wish them no ill-will. I wish everyone who was dumped by someone they loved could go peacefully down their own path without having to be contacted by an ex who is either trying to throw breadcrumbs, ease their own guilt or string the other along -- but immaturity from the dumper's arena will often cause them to shift back and forth over their decision when things get rocky with the one they're currently with. It isn't fair to the dumpee to have the dumper come back when things get tough on their end. They made a decision which should be clear to the dumpee -- that they're not the person to stick it out for the long haul (at least for the dumpee). What they often do is fill the dumpee's heart and mind with confusion by keeping in contact with them at a moment when the dumpee is most vulnerable. The person who dumped the other made a conscious choice to end the relationship regardless if it was correct or not -- but it was there decision to make. As much as many of us would like to force reason into their heart, it is their heart to make the choice and once that choice is made, it is time for the dumpee to move on and find someone who is willing to go the long haul with them. Okay, thegoose...MAJOR F**KING SETBACK! I feel bad for you. You can push the reset button on NC RIGHT NOW. DO IT! I have just had two missed calls from an unknown number and I will just assume it is my ex. He is about to go to Afghanistan soon so if it is him, he wants to give me a few more breadcrumbs before he leaves. Pfffsh! I am NOT going to answer any unknown calls OR known calls from my ex. I deserve the three course meal in a relationship not just the scraps my ex throws at me. For the love of God, thegoose, work on your self esteem. Your ex KNOWS she can just fart and you will say,"Thanks so much, It's beautiful!" Horrid. Don't text her again, call, e-mail, message-in-a-bottle...nothing!!! Drop her and the whole mess TODAY. I feel so empowered to do NC while my ex is overseas. I will not respond to any communication from him unless he tells me point blank that he really has worked on himself over some time. Maybe months or years but now...certainly not. Let her go. Unfortunately, she has to "die" in your heart. Because if she really had physically passed away, what could you do? Well, you'd have no choice but to move on, right?
Author thegoose Posted January 4, 2010 Author Posted January 4, 2010 She just called................WTF........ Wow first time we have talked in 2 months.... Her voice was so different. I hear how much it is truely over. It hurt but hopefully this will be the final kick in the nuts. I don't even want to talk to her I just want to be able to kill the Ilusion that keeps playing in my head. ITS OVER...Now just die...Why do I keep her in my mind all the time? Please go away...I just want to cry...I really have to cancell her. She sensed how weak I still am. I hate this.
LovelyDaze Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 She just called................WTF........ Wow first time we have talked in 2 months.... Her voice was so different. I hear how much it is truely over. It hurt but hopefully this will be the final kick in the nuts. I don't even want to talk to her I just want to be able to kill the Ilusion that keeps playing in my head. ITS OVER...Now just die...Why do I keep her in my mind all the time? Please go away...I just want to cry...I really have to cancell her. She sensed how weak I still am. I hate this. As I said before...PLEASE don't answer the phone again. We all knew she would do that because most of our exes have done that too. They thrive on dangling a carrot in your face then snatching it clean away. You can do it. Prove what you are made of. Don't answer another call even if it means you turn it to silent or off for a day. See hoe her "crumbs" hurt you? Stay hungry for a real meal. Until she begs and pleads for another chance PLUS insists she wants you two to work hard together to repair whatever problems caused the breakup, then she has nothing to offer you. In fact, let her leave that on voicemail, if she REALLy wants you back she will do her damnedest.
bananaboat11 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 As I said before...PLEASE don't answer the phone again. We all knew she would do that because most of our exes have done that too. They thrive on dangling a carrot in your face then snatching it clean away. You can do it. Prove what you are made of. Don't answer another call even if it means you turn it to silent or off for a day. See hoe her "crumbs" hurt you? Stay hungry for a real meal. Until she begs and pleads for another chance PLUS insists she wants you two to work hard together to repair whatever problems caused the breakup, then she has nothing to offer you. In fact, let her leave that on voicemail, if she REALLy wants you back she will do her damnedest. going to throw this out there, but i love your advice. whoever broke your heart deserves to burn in the deepest level of hell.
TheLoneSock Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 OK everybody.............I sent her a message....I caved...and feel pathetic and lost again...I really thought I was getting stronger...The contact she made gave me false hope even after all the great advice you guys gave me.... To anyone who falls for the breadcrumbs......I will say from my experiance it is like I have been set back months.....Honestly I had the chance to take back some diginty and self respect and I just feel like a gimp again. The worst part is that I am not sure that in 2 months when she gives me more breadcrumbs that I will not be able to resist. This is insanity...She just keeps hanging me out to dry or I just keep hanging myself out to dry.... So here I am covered in vomet and feeling sorry for myself trying to start my healing again.... This whole process is way harded than I could ever imagine...If my penis was only half the size of my ego I might have a chance... Sorry fellow LS ers......... Some people just don't get it until they learn the hard way. Does it truly not bother you that her ego is tickled with joy at the fact that you are still hurting over her? It sounds cynical but it is true. She feels wanted, and she likes it - it doesn't matter how you feel to her. When will you realize you are dealing with a royal bitch? Shower that vomit off and forget about any hope of reconciliation with her ever again, because it doesn't exist. Move on and learn from your f*ckups and the embarrassment you caused yourself here. Vow to yourself that you will never be this low again in your life. Pain like this doesn't come around but once or twice in a lifetime. If you make changes in yourself and move on, it will be permanent. This isn't something you'll have to do over and over. But to get to that point you're going to have to WAKE THE HELL UP. Good luck.
DenverBachelor Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 whoever broke your heart deserves to burn in the deepest level of hell. I believe that was Dante's ninth circle of hell -- otherwise known as treason.
BigTenInchRecord Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 You absolutely need to move on and get rid of any lingering false hope for good. It's hard and it sucks, but you kinda brought some of this on yourself. You stayed in contact hoping for something to happen, but you need to realize that odds are it won't. This kind of thing will KILL you, it will take all of progress and bring you back to day one. You gotta be a man here...you can't let some silly girl turn you into a pin cushion. Why would you crawl through any tunnel, let alone a "vomit-covered" tunnel for someone who wouldn't do the same for you. The image you've presented to her recently is also NOT the same one she fell in love with you for. She wasn't the one for you, and it sucks. Somethings just aren't meant to work out, but you'll find someone better, and be much happier. You just gotta cut her out and move on.
sean1970 Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 I believe that was Dante's ninth circle of hell -- otherwise known as treason. If LovelyDaze looks anything like her profile pic, I'm banished to the second.
GrayClouds Posted January 5, 2010 Posted January 5, 2010 If LovelyDaze looks anything like her profile pic, I'm banished to the second. very good!
LovelyDaze Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 going to throw this out there, but i love your advice. whoever broke your heart deserves to burn in the deepest level of hell. LOL:lmao: Thank you so MUCH, bananaboat11!! My ex is close to hell.....Afghanistan! He'll be back in 2011 and although I hope he is safe, I can not take that cheater/liar/manipulator back into my life. Just because he's a US soldier, doesn't mean he is not human...or better yet...jerk!
LovelyDaze Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 If LovelyDaze looks anything like her profile pic, I'm banished to the second. Awww. Thank you, guys! Yea...I look very similar..so my sis & mom said. I am too scared to put my real pic in fear of my ex being on here one day & reading my "to-close-to-home posts!" But, then again, if my ex ends up on LS...well...Karma served.
TheLoneSock Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 Awww. Thank you, guys! Yea...I look very similar..so my sis & mom said. I am too scared to put my real pic in fear of my ex being on here one day & reading my "to-close-to-home posts!" But, then again, if my ex ends up on LS...well...Karma served. *Gasp* are you suggesting time spent on LS is a form of punishment by Karma? Wtf?!
LovelyDaze Posted January 6, 2010 Posted January 6, 2010 *Gasp* are you suggesting time spent on LS is a form of punishment by Karma? Wtf?! LMBO!! No! *still in hysterics* But because we are in pain, it would be ironic that our exes just might seek some LS advice to their future breakups OR even as the dumper..why we are ignoring their phone calls and such! That would be classic.
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