thegreatmoose Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 no one in his right mind woud claim to be a "beta" with any degree of self respect. men naturally seek to be the "alpha" that women crave. you are either a leader or a follower. there is no in between "alpha" does not mean assertive. Most women desire assertive males. That I will agree with. Again, you can't say someone is either a leader or a follower. In some aspects of my life I'm a leader and in other aspects a follower and in still others you could say I'm a hybrid of the two.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 don't take offense it's my bad habit I call everyone kid! It's a term of endearment sorry..
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 "alpha" does not mean assertive. Most women desire assertive males. That I will agree with. Again, you can't say someone is either a leader or a follower. In some aspects of my life I'm a leader and in other aspects a follower and in still others you could say I'm a hybrid of the two. it's just like a wolf pack you are either the leader of the pack or one of the subdued followers
Pyro Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 it's just like a wolf pack you are either the leader of the pack or one of the subdued followers Doesn't life get boring for you to see everything in life as black and white?
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Doesn't life get boring for you to see everything in life as black and white? yes it does but sometimes thats just the way it is
Pyro Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 yes it does but sometimes thats just the way it is Life is NEVER black and white. At 51 you should know that.
InspiredbyYou Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Doesn't life get boring for you to see everything in life as black and white? Extremists take "da fun" out of fundamental! That's why... Why can't some guys be more like you? I read some of your posts sometimes and wonder how some of the extremists around here not see how easy it is to be a winner. All they have to do is follow the lead of those who are in the know.
Pizzaman81 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 ok, so i've been getting s..t all weekend about this beta male alpha male stuff from you girls & how tired y'all are of talking about it. well i was in a bar last nite ( yes on x-mas), expounding on my theory to a young lady seated next to me. she became very offended and soon i was surounded by her and 4 of her friends telling me how full of crap i was. i got the total beatdown and had to leave w/ my tail between my legs. OUCH! I like how you work
thegreatmoose Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 it's just like a wolf pack you are either the leader of the pack or one of the subdued followers No, not at all. Very few people are only leaders or followers. People are so complex and as some other posters are saying, you can't put everything into black and white. In fact, even if you had millions of colors that would not be enough.
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Life is NEVER black and white. At 51 you should know that. 99% of the time i would agree w/you but in this instance it just doesnt seem to make sense
InspiredbyYou Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 There is great value and strength to be had in knowing when it's good to be submissive or a follower and when it's good to lead. And leading does not involved bullying others into submission. Power is gained through respect.
Pyro Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Extremists take "da fun" out of fundamental! That's why... Why can't some guys be more like you? I read some of your posts sometimes and wonder how some of the extremists around here not see how easy it is to be a winner. All they have to do is follow the lead of those who are in the know. Thanks.
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 There is great value and strength to be had in knowing when it's good to be submissive or a follower and when it's good to lead. And leading does not involved bullying others into submission. Power is gained through respect. that's right power is generated through respect and being a follower will NEVER gain you any respect
cognac Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I bet those girls are talking about OP with their muscular, 6'2, shaved head, goatee'd boyfriends as we speak. That or their rich boyfriends. Why can't some guys be more like you? I read some of your posts sometimes and wonder how some of the extremists around here not see how easy it is to be a winner. All they have to do is follow the lead of those who are in the know.[/Quote] Negative views don't materialize from thin air. They come from common experiences. Sometimes I read what you would call a "negative" post from someone like Betamanlet, and I am pretty much reading my own experiences. The truth is the guys with the great opinions and optimism are all good looking, tall, muscular, monetarily well-off guys who have had a lot of success with women right off the bat. They see one side of women, the sweet, loving, kind side (?), the rest of us guys who are short, broke, or in any other situation we can't fix that women don't like, see another side of women. A really ugly side of games, deceit, manipulation, and downright cruelty. The few guys who keep their optimism after striking out time and time again are just slow and can't put 2 and 2 together. Point of view is what makes someone see things as black or white. And ALL points of view usually have ATLEAST a kernal of truth to them. I mean this for the pessimists, the optimists, and the people who see everything as gray, however the evidence of my day to day life has made me a pessimist.
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 don't take offense it's my bad habit I call everyone kid! It's a term of endearment sorry.. dont worry i'm not offended but thank you
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 You'd be surprised kid at how many self-professed alphas are out there these days! It's just another fancy name for bully power trippin' attention whore really...but shhhh they are the last to know of course! self proclaimed "alphas" are never that. they are simply wimps who are trying to act out. a real alpha would never say such a thing. it is an inherent trait trait that they (we) dont even think about. much like the color of one's hair
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 No, not at all. Very few people are only leaders or followers. People are so complex and as some other posters are saying, you can't put everything into black and white. In fact, even if you had millions of colors that would not be enough. among males competing for females, you are wrong my friend. it's either one or the other
InspiredbyYou Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I wish some of you guys realized that everyone in life is tormented one way or another, what differentiates those who come out on top vs those who sit on the sidelines having perpetual pity parties is not what they were blessed with physically but rather how they get themselves up after being knocked down. Do you think anyone who is successful in life in any capacity did not have their fair share of rejections? Well let me burst the fantasy bubble for you, they did. Rejection is part of life's mandate, to be expected to be absolved from it is to have unrealistic expectations. Now I will give you this much, some people who have been repeatedly knocked down do have the tendency to suffer for longer because it is a lot easier to give in to the despair than it is to keep fighting but quitting, is what makes losers not rejection. I will give you a very lame example but a good example nonetheless. If you watch any of those reality shows about those rich beautiful kids in Hollywood you will see that they too often end up sitting around having emotional exchanges with their friends about the trials an tribulations that they experience in love, socially and in their careers. What that should tell you is that it doesn't matter how much you are gifted with on a superficial level, obstacles, pain and lost love will always be something that we are ALL indiscriminately exposed to at one point or another in our lives. Stop kidding yourselves that the "beautiful" people have it easier or better. No one has the right to dictate how you should feel pain for whatever hand you are dealt in life, we all feel pain and I respect that as individuals we are entitled to feel that pain regardless of the degree as seen by those onlooking from the outside in. But it is your own personal choice to sit in a stagnated state of despair and to give in to the fight. Be clear on what and who you are fighting with. If you want to be a true fighter fight for yourself, mourn your losses and then pick yourself up and fight for what you feel you deserve but for the love of god please stop fighting others. It gets you absolutely nowhere.
meerkat stew Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) OP, had your comment not contained a shard of shiny truth, you wouldn't have stirred up the harpy nest to the extent you did. People go "pshaww!" and laugh at ridiculous propositions, reserving anger and defensiveness for statements that hit just a wee bit too close to home. However, I'd like to throttle the moron who first applied the pack mammal terms "alpha" and "beta" to human behavior, as that stands near singularly as one of the worst (yet valid -sounding-) analogies of all times. Or maybe it will be apt one day when we sniff each others' asses in greeting or scoot along bareback on the carpet trying to wipe ourselves. We have... language. We have.... toilet paper. Extending the "alpha" analogy to human beings, arguably the only creature on earth that is self-aware in more than an instinctive survival way, was a monstrously erroneous anthropological faux pas. Fact is, when we see something we like, we will make many excuses for it, will rationalize its perfection and extol even made-up virtues. The hot girl with two brain cells to rub together becomes "she's really deep spiritually." The hot guy who has lived entirely in the same town his entire life becomes "worldly and sophisticated." We glorify what looks good to us. As a female boss told me once, "It's all about looks, for both women and men, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." That stuck with me because more than the "it's all attitude" crowd, the "confidence" crowd, the "laundry list of qualities" crowd, and the "alpha" crowd, sticking with the tenets of the "the hotter you are the better you do" crowd has resulted in MUCH more opportunity and more varied options than any other of the supposed alchemies of attraction for me. LOOK GOOD, GET LEG. Simple. Works. Careful observation of most "alphas" reveals them to be anything but. I've seen more than one tattooed, love patched "tuque boy" alpha wannabe CRYING in front of his girlfriend. Boohooing about some minor sleight. Have seen guys who ride Harleys doing this. Moreover, I've seen some real alpha behavior from ugly, fat men, and let's just say the sound of the sonic boom of women leaving the area when ugly men display alpha attitudes is deafening. It's a gigafart, a grand mal social enema. This is so because real "alpha" behavior is mostly illegal in one way or another, and where it rears its head, blue lights and ricochets are not far behind. So the legitimate, broader question is, "Why are we so easily suckered by looks into attributing nonexistent qualities to good-looking people?" and my answer to that would be that every person alive in the U.S. has been conditioned by media over many decades to believe that beautiful people are indeed better people, and less attractive people are indeed less than people. Or that's one huge reason. IMO, it's all about looks. Attitude, confidence, lalalalala other supposed virtues not so much. It's ALL ABOUT LOOKS. Edited December 28, 2009 by meerkat stew
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 If you want to be a true fighter fight for yourself, mourn your losses and then pick yourself up and fight for what you feel you deserve but for the love of god please stop fighting others. It gets you absolutely nowhere. true words indeed. as i said before, i have great time being alive. (especially skydiving) i'm just intrigued by people's opinions on this subject. i have no trouble fighting (had enough of that in Afghanistan though). and i have no trouble getting dates. i just think that the passive guys who cant get dates need a little encouragement
cognac Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 OP, had your comment not contained a shard of shiny truth, you wouldn't have stirred up the harpy nest to the extent you did. People go "pshaww!" and laugh at ridiculous propositions, reserving anger and defensiveness for statements that hit just a wee bit too close to home. However, I'd like to throttle the moron who first applied the pack mammal terms "alpha" and "beta" to human behavior, as that stands near singularly as one of the worst (yet valid -sounding-) analogies of all times. Or maybe it will be apt one day when we sniff each others' asses in greeting or scoot along bareback on the carpet trying to wipe ourselves. We have... language. We have.... toilet paper. Extending the "alpha" analogy to human beings, arguably the only creature on earth that is self-aware in more than an instinctive survival way, was a monstrously erroneous anthropological faux pas. Fact is, when we see something we like, we will make many excuses for it, will rationalize its perfection and extol even made-up virtues. The hot girl with two brain cells to rub together becomes "she's really deep spiritually." The hot guy who has lived entirely in the same town his entire life becomes "worldly and sophisticated." We glorify what looks good to us. As a female boss told me once, "It's all about looks, for both women and men, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise." That stuck with me because more than the "it's all attitude" crowd, the "confidence" crowd, the "laundry list of qualities" crowd, and the "alpha" crowd, sticking with the tenets of the "the hotter you are the better you do" crowd has resulted in MUCH more opportunity and more varied options than any other of the supposed alchemies of attraction for me. LOOK GOOD, GET LEG. Simple. Works. Careful observation of most "alphas" reveals them to be anything but. I've seen more than one tattooed, love patched "tuque boy" alpha wannabe CRYING in front of his girlfriend. Boohooing about some minor sleight. Have seen guys who ride Harleys doing this. Moreover, I've seen some real alpha behavior from ugly, fat men, and let's just say the sound of the sonic boom of women leaving the area when ugly men display alpha attitudes is deafening. It's a gigafart, a grand mal social enema. This is so because real "alpha" behavior is mostly illegal in one way or another, and where it rears its head, blue lights and ricochets are not far behind. So the legitimate, broader question is, "Why are we so easily suckered by looks into attributing nonexistent qualities to good-looking people?" and my answer to that would be that every person alive in the U.S. has been conditioned by media over many decades to believe that beautiful people are indeed better people, and less attractive people are indeed less than people. Or that's one huge reason. IMO, it's all about looks. Attitude, confidence, lalalalala other supposed virtues not so much. It's ALL ABOUT LOOKS. Awesome post, you should really look into being a writer by the way you have great prose. I myself think the whole BETA vs ALPHA thing is idiotic. A lot of the time women convince themselves that the rule doesn't apply to them is because they do exactly what you point out, attribute fake positive qualities to their boyfriends, meanwhile attributing fake negative qualities to all the guys who are ew too short, ew have red hair, ew are asian, ew are this or that. Women and dumb men are guilty of this . The average to smart man generally will admit if their girlfriend is dumb, and openly state that they are dating her because she is hot (in private).
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 IMO, it's all about looks. Attitude, confidence, lalalalala other supposed virtues not so much. It's ALL ABOUT LOOKS. excellent post
Author skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 The average to smart man generally will admit if their girlfriend is dumb, and openly state that they are dating her because she is hot (in private). i always date women because the're "hot" & i dont need to say it in private. although i very much appreciate your point of view
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