countingstarsagain Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 So, my ex and I were together for 3 1/2 wonderful years. I felt truly in love and honestly thought he felt the same. He'd always talk about plans for the future, like us living together and getting married and having kids and such. Everything was perfect.. until he went to college. I am 21 and he is 19. I had my wild stage in college and he stuck by me and I grew out of it within a year. He, on the otherhand, has been frightening with his behavior. He made a bunch of new friends and all they do is drink. He's even started abusing his ADHD medication. So he starts acting differently towards me, and I feel suspecious of him. He starts keeping his phone in his pocket and on vibrate all the time. I continually ask him if there's someone else and he always says no I'd never do that to you. I try to go visit him all the time but he always pushes me away, which is even more suspecious. On Monday nights, he and his friends have movie night. No big deal. I'm never invited and I don't really think twice about it as I think it's just a bunch of guys watching movies. I find out through myspace that this other girl was there. In the rage of the moment, I text him and break up with him. I don't talk to him for a few days because I'm just so disappointed. I decide to not speak to him very much for a while afterwards as well. He starts seeing someone else two weeks later. I'm devestated. One day out of the blue he calls me crying. Telling me he misses me and all this. He ends up coming over and we sleep together. He tells me this girl he has been seeing means nothing and he only thinks of me every second. He says he still wants to marry me and I'm the one who he sees in his future and this is just a rough patch we're going through. So, I am under the impression that he wants to get back together. He quckly leaves after sex. He calls me later that night and I ask him about this other girl. He confesses that they have been official for a few days. I hang up on him. He calls a few weeks later and we have normal friendly conversation with no emotions or talk of teh relationship. I never initiate contact. We have been NC for a month and a half now. Everyone I talk to tells me he's going through a phase and this girl is just him wondering if the grass is greener on the other side. They tell me it won't last and he'll realize what he had with me was special and will regret everything he's put me through. Could this be true? I am still in love with him, which I hate. I wish I felt no emotions but I just can't turn my feelings off. I want to think there is no hope, but I know of couples who have gone through this same type of dilemma and came out stronger. What do you guys think?? I know I should just try to move on, but I can't shake the feelings of 'what if'.
xerofate Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 He lied. Liars lie, cheaters cheat. I'm sorry. Ask yourself this: "what am i getting out of this relationship? Am I happy, truly happy? Am I just sticking by him because he stuck by me?" Here is hoping that the answers to those questions help you, and don't hurt too much.
knime32 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 My story has so many similar parallels. We had dated for 6 years and we're both 22, but we've been together since we were 16. We've seen other people off and on but haven't been with anyone physically. He recently broke up with me and is now dating someone else, not even 3 weeks after we broke up. I'd love to tell you that there is a future and every story is different. Continue to keep your space and live by what's meant to be will happen and if not, there is something better out there. I know its hard to do, as I am facing the same situation, but I've learned that holding on to "what if" only makes it harder. If you do want a future..as soon as you do this and he knows it, it is almost sure that he will come back, it never fails. If and when it does, you can decide if it is what you want. I'm hoping that I get presented with the situation, and I'm eager to know what will happen and where I'll be and what my decision will be. We've broken up a time or two before and every time we got back together..we were stronger than before. There are some success stories. I'm eager to know what everyone else who's had this situation before have to say about it or those who have many more life experiences and may know the answers!
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