morock Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 My gf of 6 months is visiting family for the holidays on the other side of the country. She's usually embarrassed by romantic displays in front of her family(who i've never met). I sent her and her family christmas cards, and she appreciated them(but mentioned that she gets a bit embarrassed). I was thinking of having a rose bouquet and chocolates delivered to her parents house(she is staying there). What do you guys think, is it creepy or sweet?
threebyfate Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Personally, I think this is an incredibly sweet gesture! But, I would listen to this and not do it. Wait until she gets back and then send her something as a Happy Holidays gesture. Did you already trade gifts before she left? (but mentioned that she gets a bit embarrassed).
sunshinegirl Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's neither. It's inconsiderate, since she has very clearly told you she is uncomfortable with such displays of affection. Perhaps you could get the flowers/chocolates as a welcome home gift.
skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) I was thinking of having a rose bouquet and chocolates delivered to her parents house(she is staying there). What do you guys think, is it creepy or sweet? dude i would do it for sure. not creepy at all. i bet the reason she gets embarrassed is that she likes you and her family is probably teasing her about it. any girl who thinks getting flowers and candy from her bf is "creepy" would be giving me second thoughts about seeing her forget your insecurities and go for what your gut tells you to do Edited December 28, 2009 by skydiveaddict
skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's neither. It's inconsiderate, since she has very clearly told you she is uncomfortable with such displays of affection. Perhaps you could get the flowers/chocolates as a welcome home gift. inconsiderate? you gotta be kidding me she's embarrassed because she LIKES him and she's just a little bit shy
sunshinegirl Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 inconsiderate? you gotta be kidding me she's embarrassed because she LIKES him and she's just a little bit shy I'm not saying she doesn't LIKE him. If my boyfriend knew I was uncomfortable about X, Y, or Z thing he did (for whatever reason) and he continued to do it, I would think that's inconsiderate of him and I would wonder if he listens to me or really cares about my feelings or needs. YMMV.
DustySaltus Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 You sent Christmas cards that was a nice gesture, now leave it alone. Save the chocolate and flowers for Valentine's day. I don't think it's creepy at all, I just think that if you do many nice things like this, she will take it for granted and or get embarrased further. It's not worth the risk. Let me ask you a question. Do her parents know about you. Has she met your parents?
skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 dude, it's just flowers & choclate. it's just not that big a deal it's not ring. just do it! be your own man and do what your heart tells you. insecurity is for beta-male wimps.
Trialbyfire Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 dude, it's just flowers & choclate. it's just not that big a deal it's not ring. just do it! be your own man and do what your heart tells you. insecurity is for beta-male wimps.Men who don't listen to what their women have expressed, find themselves dumped. She's already expressed her preference. Don't push it.
skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Men who don't listen to what their women have expressed, find themselves dumped. She's already expressed her preference. Don't push it. morock, just imagine this scenario: " hi baby, so glad to see you again. i was gonna send you candy & flowers while you were away, but some people in a chat room told me not to" c'mon dude, be your own man!
skydiveaddict Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) or imagine this: " i cant believe you sent me roses & chocolate! how cruel can you be? WE'RE THRUOGH!" be assertive dude. that's what women love! c'mon man, go with your gut & quit listening to a bunch of chat room hippies Edited December 28, 2009 by skydiveaddict
aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Sending flowers and PDA are very different in my opinion. I hate public displays of affection in front of my family with my SO, but I love receiving gifts from him in front of them. I say send the flowers and chocolate.
DustySaltus Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 or imagine this: " i cant believe you sent me roses & chocolate! how cruel can you be? WE'RE THRUOGH!" be assertive dude. that's what women love! ??? Why would she ever respond like this after what she told him? There's a fine line between thoughtful and mushy. How would he be an "alphamale" by doing this? A considerate man respects his woman's wishes.
Author morock Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 she wasn't embarrassed about the christmas cards to the point of being upset. Its just that she got teased a bit by her family about it. She has met both of my parents.
yah Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 it depends on her family. they sound a bit conservative. my fam is considered conservative (they are of a different culture tho). a previous bf has had cards, flowers, gifts delivered to my parents' house when i am home to visit. we were dating for ~2yrs. my parents were happy (but questioned me a ton so i was pretty embarrassed) to see me receive them and ask when i plan to bring him home. in my culture, bring him home = getting married soon. this was why it was so embarrassing... i had to explain to each party what it meant (no, mom, not getting married. please stop grinning. bf, please send less flowers unless you plan to put a ring on my finger...).
hoping2heal Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 My gf of 6 months is visiting family for the holidays on the other side of the country. She's usually embarrassed by romantic displays in front of her family(who i've never met). I sent her and her family christmas cards, and she appreciated them(but mentioned that she gets a bit embarrassed). I was thinking of having a rose bouquet and chocolates delivered to her parents house(she is staying there). What do you guys think, is it creepy or sweet? I think it's a terrible idea. Is the thought sweet? Very. The problem is a gift should be about the recipient and not the sender. People often make a mistake of giving a gift or gesture based on THEIR preferences or ideas of what is good; ignoring the other persons input. I am not comfortable either with displays in front of my family; mostly because certain family members are very nosy busy bodies and what is personal and private to me is sacred and not be used as fodder by those certain members each time I see them. She has her reasons, be respectful of them; it will get you a lot more points in her book to respect her wishes and just send the gifts when she has privacy, like upon returning home, etc.
hoping2heal Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 or imagine this: " i cant believe you sent me roses & chocolate! how cruel can you be? WE'RE THRUOGH!" be assertive dude. that's what women love! c'mon man, go with your gut & quit listening to a bunch of chat room hippies skydive I get the impression you're not such a great listener,no?
Pizzaman81 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 My gf of 6 months is visiting family for the holidays on the other side of the country. She's usually embarrassed by romantic displays in front of her family(who i've never met). I sent her and her family christmas cards, and she appreciated them(but mentioned that she gets a bit embarrassed). I was thinking of having a rose bouquet and chocolates delivered to her parents house(she is staying there). What do you guys think, is it creepy or sweet? Yes please her parents. Getting along with your sig other's parents shows that you get along with family. Sometimes, the nice things you do for her parents would mean to her a lot more than if you were to do them to her.
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