cognac Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Well, what do women desire, personally? 1) Tall, dark and handsome 2) intelligent, interesting tough, and dominant 3) Financially well-off 4) Funny/witty
jw90063 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I forgot to mention physically attractive. There has to be chemistry too.
aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Oh yeah I forgot to mention that I love a guy who is extremely sarcastic and can stand my sarcastic and sometimes dark sense of humor. And someone who doesn't want kids is also a plus since I don't see me having kids ever.
Author scenester Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Oh, so you wanna get deeper then. It is all about not giving too much at first. Don't just give yourself up to the next beautiful girl. It is not about treating women like crap, it is about not treating yourself like crap. Always remember you are more valuable than some person you just met. As the relationship progresses, the other person becomes more valuable. At the point in my current relationship, I would do just about anything for my girlfriend. You may have confidence, but you probably display a low self worth compared to the women you are chasing. If you deny this, please re-think. You are coming to a forum asking what women want. I am asking because I am curious. I am not chasing any girls, nor have I ever, nor would I ever. I am still rather young and naive. I don't treat women like crap or myself like crap. I consider myself in between a 'alpha' and a 'beta,' I treat women well, but am not afraid to walk away when I'm not getting what I want out of a relationship - or disagree, or stand for myself. I've had relationships before, just trying to learn more about the female gender.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) Uh, it's hard to sum up in a list but my ideal man would probably have all of these traits: Intelligence Integrity Kindness Confidence without arrogance. Has a few insecurities like everyone, but confident overall. Intensity Reflectiveness Passion for at least one thing outside of themselves Strong, guarded surface with emotion bubbling underneath, but it's only reserved for the right person. They're picky about whom they love, but when they do, they love deeply Loyalty to those they care about Sharp, dry sense of humor Ambition Good aesthetic sense Musical ability of some sort, or at least the ability to appreciate good music Good taste Some level of cultural sophistication that elusive combination of cynicism and joie de vivre Strong sense of identity and personal values lack of materialism within certain bounds Adventurousness and spontaneity Edited December 28, 2009 by shadowplay
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's interesting reading the other posts in this thread how so many women are essentially looking for the same man, with some variation. Guys like this are rare.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Ha ha ha, funny. Reading these traits sounds almost like my biography. If only those were the only thing women desire. I can already tell from your posting history that you're so far from this type it's not even funny. The guys who say they have all of those qualities almost never do.
jw90063 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I just thought of something, I've had plenty of guys give me that line " I have all those qualities", after asking me what I look for. That is so typical. Like they possess all the qualities I'm looking for.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I just thought of something, I've had plenty of guys give me that line " I have all those qualities", after asking me what I look for. That is so typical. Like they possess all the qualities I'm looking for. Yeah, and they almost never do. In fact, the type of guy I'm describing would probably never say that he had all of those traits.
EnglishMuffin Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I am asking because I am curious. I am not chasing any girls, nor have I ever, nor would I ever. I am still rather young and naive. I don't treat women like crap or myself like crap. I consider myself in between a 'alpha' and a 'beta,' I treat women well, but am not afraid to walk away when I'm not getting what I want out of a relationship - or disagree, or stand for myself. I've had relationships before, just trying to learn more about the female gender. You mean you like women pursuing you? Woot Leave the joke aside, the key is to meet someone who shares your beliefs and ideas about relationship and other life matters at the right time. A satisfactory relationship is where your needs are met and conflicts are healthily solved. That's why everyone here on LS emphasise on the importance of open communication. Men cannot read women's minds, women cannot read men's minds. It's as simple as that. My ex bf was loaded with insecurities and drama. The guy I am seeing now had a couple of crazy drama queen exs. He and I had our lessons learned & we appreciate what we can offer to each other: willingness to communicate openly whenever an issue arises (it includes being vocal about what one likes in the bedroom), handling stress in a mature way without affecting the other person, being emotionally open and available to each other. The rest can be overlooked/compromised/etc.
jw90063 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Yeah, and they almost never do. In fact, the type of guy I'm describing would probably never say that he had all of those traits. Yeah, why do they lie. It just makes them looks stupid in the end, when you dumped them specifically because they are lacking more than one of those traits.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 In terms of physicals I'm pretty lenient if their brain is sexy, but... -not overweight -not shorter than I am in heels -has nice, intelligent eyes -fairly regular features. Nothing glaringly off.
edward-e Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 i think a lot of guys possess a lot of these traits, i think more then anything it comes down to chemistry and how you carry yourself.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 i think a lot of guys possess a lot of these traits, i think more then anything it comes down to chemistry and how you carry yourself. I disagree. There aren't many intelligent people, or many thoroughly good people. And all of those combined is rare.
edward-e Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 intelligence is subjective. any i think most people consider themselves to be good people. its really your opinion...
aerogurl87 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I just thought of something, I've had plenty of guys give me that line " I have all those qualities", after asking me what I look for. That is so typical. Like they possess all the qualities I'm looking for. I think most women have had this happen to them. The odd thing is my boyfriend is a proud, self proclaimed a**hole who somehow has every quality I find endearing in a mate.
burning 4 revenge Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I disagree. There aren't many intelligent people, or many thoroughly good people. And all of those combined is rare. Well is it really intelligent to be thoroughly good?
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 intelligence is subjective. any i think most people consider themselves to be good people. its really your opinion... People aren't the best judges of themselves. Most people are in-between -- neither evil nor especially ethical/nice.
shadowplay Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Well is it really intelligent to be thoroughly good? By thoroughly good I mean that they're kind within reason. They have boundaries and will enforce those if crossed.
jw90063 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 i think a lot of guys possess a lot of these traits, i think more then anything it comes down to chemistry and how you carry yourself. You seem so sure of yourself and "other" men's qualities.
edward-e Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 honestly, its all interpretation. YOU may not find a guy to be nice but other people do. SO when a guy says hes a nice guy that means in general he believes he has good morals.
PinkToes Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Yep, I'm most definitely clean shaven. That's 4/4 isn't it? So cross off my 2 deal breakers (from another thread, too far O/T for this one) and you're in. I've had pretty long lists at various times in my life, but as time goes on, it seems like the basics + chemistry + a commitment to making it work are the most important things, for me. The guy who had something like 16 of the 18 things I thought I wanted ended up leaving because he said he wasn't having fun anymore, after making all sorts of promises. So wanting to make things work is pretty important to me now.
callingyouuu Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 It's interesting reading the other posts in this thread how so many women are essentially looking for the same man, with some variation. This is true. We did a similar exercise in a class I took last year, and the vast majority of characteristics the girls listed out for an "ideal" mate were exactly the same, or just variations of one another: sense of humor, adventurous, confident, attractive, intelligent, etc. I think in the back of their minds, most guys know the general qualities of what women want. Just facing up to the fact that they (including myself) don't fit every single checklist is hard to take down.
edward-e Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 You seem so sure of yourself and "other" men's qualities. actually, i am very confident in my own qualities. not to mention i see a lot of guys get burned by women and they actually do have ALL the qualities that women says she wants in a man. so im pretty sure chemistry is more important than almost ANYTHING else.
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