HEG Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 I know it's been asked a million times before but... Is it possible for exes to be friends? My recent ex and I, hurt each other tremendously in our relationship as a couple. We got into a horribly abusive cycle with one another of high expectations, unacceptance of certain behaviors in each other, vicious arguments and constant break ups. But the dynamics we shared were bar none! I've never had so much fun with another living soul and he has expressed the same. Part of me thinks that if we rid our relationship of the romance, we could be the best of friends. I'm not sure quite if I'm actually ready or able to be his friend but I'm beginning to question the possibility. I have often felt that we should have just been friends to begin with. Maybe it's too early as I'm not quite over the hurt but maybe...just maybe, a friendship could help us to heal? I don't know. The only thing that I do know is that I miss our comraderie so much! What are your thoughts?
xoxo88 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Yes it is possible to be friends. But you must be sure that you want to be friends for the right reasons and not with the aim of getting back together. But very important is that you have no feelings for your ex. Take your time away from them and if you still want to be friends after falling out of love it means that's true friendship that you want and you should go for it.
Author HEG Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 It is definitely not in either one of our best interests to be in a romantic relationship together. But to say that I don't have feelings for him would be an utter lie. Of course I love him. I always will no matter what. If I haven't "fallen" out of love with him yet, I don't think I'm going to. The thing is...perhaps I can love him in a much healthier fashion by simply being his friend.
PinkToes Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 You can be friends if/when you're able to hear about each others' new dates without feeling hurt/rejected/angry/sick/jealous. Anything before that is a really bad idea.
mmk1 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Absolutely not if you were dumped. I've tried it twice and it ripped me apart and set me back from growing. It is impossible.
ordinary_girl Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I am very good friends with one ex. we are truly over eachother (split up about 7 years ago) but I have known him most of my adult life and can't imagine my life without his friendship. there are a couple more I talk to but partly because they are far away and I know there is no chance of anything close developing. there is my most recent ex whom I am trying to keep in my life as a friend because - although we can't have a relationship for complicated reasons - I know I haven't grown this much with anyone else for a very long time. vice versa I think. he is a good man and I want him as a friend in my life long term. so we have no contact at the moment, realistically can't really talk for at least another month or maybe two before trying build that friendship.
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