Sprig Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 A few years ago I got involved with a girl I worked with, we dated for around 8 months and at least for me the relationship was pretty intense, I loved this girl with all my heart. Shew said she loved me too. After a while she began to ignore me, not want to do anything, makes excuses why we couldn't hang out etc.. I knew something was going on and it was killing me. Finally she broke it off, problem was we still worked together. In those times I felt like I was dead inside. It was a very dark time in my life. Truth be told, she just came out of a marriage where her husband treated her very badly and was IMO on the rebound. Since I was kind to her and complimented her, she took to me like a fly to honey since it was years since she had any positive attention from a guy After about 2 months I moved onto a new job, my new job was unrelated to the end of the relationship. This was a job I had been working towards for about 8 years and I finally got it. Anyway, it's been 2 1/2 years since we parted ways and we never really even said goodbye. Over the last couple months I began to think about her. The pain and anger have almost completely died away and I am thinking about sending her a message just to say hello and wish her well. Give her a brief update on my life and where it has taken me. etc.. Since our parting it had felt like I have carried a burden from that relationship and i think this might be a way to alleviate that burden finally. Whether she returns my message I really doesn't matter to me I think. Thoughts?
gaudi Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 If a reply to your message doesn't matter then neither should getting in touch with her in the first place, I would leave her to it, you should get on with staying in touch with people whho do want to know.
HLP234 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 If she doesn't get back to you than she doesn't care because she's over you and obviously she put all the burden on you and then just left..so if she's moved on fine, she has never realized what she did to you. Seems like you got over it too, but like me, I can do the same but I would also like to let her know because than both of you have settled it. Continue on with your life, and find someone else, than you won't need to feel like you are carrying a huge burden. The next person you are with will help you completely remove that. Maybe after that happens, you will feel completely fine again. No point to let her know how you feel when she's hurt you, it won't do anything but make it harder for you..unless she changes her mind but in most cases once a girl has her mind made up there is nothing you can do to change it.
TheLoneSock Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 A few years ago I got involved with a girl I worked with, we dated for around 8 months and at least for me the relationship was pretty intense, I loved this girl with all my heart. Shew said she loved me too. After a while she began to ignore me, not want to do anything, makes excuses why we couldn't hang out etc.. I knew something was going on and it was killing me. Finally she broke it off, problem was we still worked together. In those times I felt like I was dead inside. It was a very dark time in my life. Truth be told, she just came out of a marriage where her husband treated her very badly and was IMO on the rebound. Since I was kind to her and complimented her, she took to me like a fly to honey since it was years since she had any positive attention from a guy After about 2 months I moved onto a new job, my new job was unrelated to the end of the relationship. This was a job I had been working towards for about 8 years and I finally got it. Anyway, it's been 2 1/2 years since we parted ways and we never really even said goodbye. Over the last couple months I began to think about her. The pain and anger have almost completely died away and I am thinking about sending her a message just to say hello and wish her well. Give her a brief update on my life and where it has taken me. etc.. Since our parting it had felt like I have carried a burden from that relationship and i think this might be a way to alleviate that burden finally. Whether she returns my message I really doesn't matter to me I think. Thoughts? This is a lie to yourself. You do care. If it's been 2 1/2 years, without a genuine goodbye, and she hasn't attempted anything with you, she is NOT interested and NOT thinking about you. Wrap your head around that and move on. Meet more girls, f*ck more pussy. You're still hung up over a girl that dumped you and never talked to you again even after 2 1/2 years. My guess is that you're just lonely and she was the last real thing you felt, and you miss it. You can and will have that and better with another girl. But not if you're still pussified over this chick. She doesn't want you. Find someone hotter and nicer.
Author Sprig Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 I'm not missing this girl, I did find new GF after this one. Those also ended, but no big deal right? At this point in my life I am taking an extended break from dating, I'm tired of it and all that goes with it and really am feeling quite happier than I have for a long time. My message to her would be short, to the point and with out going into details about feelings or how I was hurt. Just a message of well wishing.
billy356 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 I think it is a bad idea. I think there is more to you reaching out to her than you care to or can admit. If you were that in love with her then, I am not surprised that you would still have those feelings....but could you handle finding out that she is in a serious relationship or engaged? I was in an almost identical situation as you. Head over heels, didnt work out, ended badly...5 years went by. Now I did contact her to clear the air on a whim, and very long story short, we are back together , going to give it a real shot.... So while I think it is a bad idea, I am an example of what can happen. Only you can truly know your motives and thus what the best course of action is. Either way I wish you the best :-)
Zeegagge Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Seems like a bad idea to me. She might just find it kind of strange.
Author Sprig Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Even if I did contact her, I don't want her back. She has quite a bit of baggage (kids). Thanks for the replies, I'm going to sit on this one for awhile and think it out and not do anything too hasty.
adamt Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 (edited) Even if I did contact her, I don't want her back. She has quite a bit of baggage (kids).. If you dont want to get back with her then what is the point in wanting to talk to her? I can only think you are not over her yet it is so long ago, you really need to let go and forget about her no matter how hard it is. I broke up 7 months ago and got no card or text message over xmas wishing me the best. that tells me she does not want me part of her life and has moved on. i have to move on no matter how hard i find it. there is no reason to contact her and open up old wounds. there wil not be a happy outcome for you. if you are seeking closure and answers to questions you will not get it. then you have more questions and she is on your mind even more. xmas holidays is always a hard time when you are on your own or still raw from a split up. but 2 years ago you should have moved on by now. dont put your life on hold for anyone who treats you like this. whenyou are older you will look back and kick yourself for wasting so much time Edited December 28, 2009 by adamt
adamt Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 it is so long ago, you really need to let go and forget about her no matter how hard it is. I broke up 7 months ago and got no card or text message over xmas wishing me the best. that tells me she does not want me part of her life and has moved on. i have to move on no matter how hard i find it. there is no reason to contact her and open up old wounds. there wil not be a happy outcome for you. if you are seeking closure and answers to questions you will not get it. then you have more questions and she is on your mind even more. xmas holidays is always a hard time when you are on your own or still raw from a split up. but 2 years ago you should have moved on by now. dont put your life on hold for anyone who treats you like this. whenyou are older you will look back and kick yourself for wasting so much time
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