Falling out of love...

[carolinawanderer]

My ex fell out of love with me and she couldn't even give me a reason, other than how there had always been something missing. I asked her when this started, and she said she didn't know, but it had been building in her head since we moved in together (full story in coping forum).

 

My question -- what does it take to fall out of love with someone?

 

Things were good between us until I got depressed, withdrawn, and moody for a couple of months.

 

She wanted to leave because she thought it wouldn't get any better. I know her feelings for me were fading a little. She told me she didn't want to lose me or what we had, though.

 

But I turned things around, almost totally, and she said things were indeed better after she wanted to leave.

 

I'm wondering if those crappy couple of months could have made her not only doubt our relationship, but fall out of love with me totally to the point where she thought she could never be happy with me, even though things were better later, and she saw that with her own two eyes.

 

Could her feelings be THAT damaged, beyond repair, just because I was moody and distant for a little while? Or is that extremely unlikely if I showed her how much I cared, and I worked on everything?

 

I should also say that she was slower to warm up to me than I was to her - she had more doubts than I did at the very beginning - but then things became good and stayed good for a long time.

 

Thoughts?

[CentralJersey]

As tough as it may be to hear, s*** happens. I went through it too where I thought everything was good. I think the fact that they dont feel the same just means you need to move on. The reason, while we all would love to know it (I'm with you on that), really doesnt change the outcome. You look back and think about what you may have done better, what you liked from the relationship so you have that in a future one, and what you didnt like so that you can avoid it in the future.