comj49 Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 I have been seperated from my wife for only a month and a half, but it feels like a year already. She is dating someone (possibly more than one person), and it looks like it may be someone who she works with. I have come to believe very strongly that this was starting up before she wanted the seperation. She wants to be "free", with the right to do whatever she wants, despite my feelings. She said she needed space to "find herself", but all she has done in the last month is find other people. It seems clear she is like alot of women on this site and was bored with our marriage, got some attetion from a co-worker, and was interested. The seperation made it OK in her mind to act on it. I am just sick to my stomach thinking of it. She keeps pushing me to date other people, just so she doesn't feel like the person in the wrong. I won't, because i already see how this is causing a major division between us that we may not be able to overcome, should she want to come back. She has a very strong desire to be a single women, and to do everything a single women does. Everything seems so hopeless, and I really think I need to take the next step. I don't want to rush things, but I don't know what to do. If i wait, i'm in agony that much longer and I have to watch her date other people. I have told her she needs to come clean with what is going on and just put it on hold for a while until she is absolutley sure that is what she wants, but she can't do that. She has chosen a single life over our marriage, and it is killing me. Has anyone ever really let there H/W be completely "free", then allowed them to come back? If she were to come back after having one,two..affairs, how in the world do we start over? Not only that, but she works with one of the guys. She would have to have NC, which would be difficult, plus I couldn't trust her to go to work. I think we both would be better off starting over with someone else, then try to fight that fight. This is so #$%ed up I can't even believe it is happening.
hopesndreams Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 I think we both would be better off starting over with someone else, then try to fight that fight. This is so #$%ed up I can't even believe it is happening. You would be a thousand times better off starting over with someone else. It's a fight not worth fighting. Cut her out of your life, she is like a cancer to you now. It is f*kked up!!! I couldn't believe it when it happened to me either and there are so many others that this has happened to as well. Just remember, you did nothing wrong and you deserve so much more in life than this woman you used to know can give you.
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