frenchgirl Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 I had a heated debate with one of my girlfriends last night. I'm all for being warm and friendly, and I do hug my good guy friends albeit with a bit of reserve. I wouldn't give them a tight hug if they're meant to remain my friends. My girlfriend gives male acquaintances tight hugs to guys she's not romantically interested in and then wonders why so many of them chase her afterwards. What's your position on this? To hug or not? Or just a little?
jerbear Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 My girlfriend gives male acquaintances tight hugs to guys she's not romantically interested in and then wonders why so many of them chase her afterwards. What's your position on this? To hug or not? Or just a little? Women who friendzone me and give me a tight hug I would question their intentions. As much as I might like them that would be inappropriate for me. Tight hugs among "friends" can backfire as what your friend experienced.
CarrieT Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Perhaps this is yet another age-dependent situation. Or maybe because I am such a physical person, I give loving, tight, affectionate hug all my friends; male/female, gay/straight, single/married. And you know what? No one has ever accused me of making an improper pass or sending the wrong signals with my outward signs of affection. But I would hazard to guess that 20-somethings don't "get this."
jerbear Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Perhaps this is yet another age-dependent situation. Or maybe because I am such a physical person, I give loving, tight, affectionate hug all my friends; male/female, gay/straight, single/married. And you know what? No one has ever accused me of making an improper pass or sending the wrong signals with my outward signs of affection. But I would hazard to guess that 20-somethings don't "get this." I don't know but 20-somethings, I would agree. Those tight hugs are always good and I always seek them out! Back on topic, if I know your personality (ie you) I would understand the hug. ditto for Europeans with the kiss on the cheeks. There are other people that you just know the hug is trying to mean something. Either they miss you or something clicked in them. I think, IMO, those familiar close friends (almost a relationship friends) you just know something is up. Maybe it could be age or culture but sometimes not.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 With acquaintances, I think a friendly hug is the most affectionate that you can get without coming across as interested (or weird). A friendly hug is not too tight, not too long, IMHO. If I meet a guy (or a woman) a couple of times and they give me a big hug, I'll be a bit freaked out unless there was some flirting going on. A tight hug, chest to chest, is a lot more personal, IMHO. I don't think it has anything to do with age. Some people are more physical than others but when people get physical with me too quickly, I'm freaked out...
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