kwiley Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Or what comments do you make to yourself to make yourself cope with relationship Armageddon? Obvious ones: At least I don't have cancer I could be in Darfur or Myanmar going through real suffering I'm not homeless I still have the pets! Less obvious ones: I could be sitting in the second hour of a Diana Krall concert (love her though) I could be at a Detroit Lions' game I could be at the Pauly Shore retrospective night I could at a Ruth Bader Ginsburg lecture (love her not her voice!) share your thoughts as I am presently in my coping stage (captain obvious!) and trying to pass time!
gaudi Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Well there are a lot of things you can say to yourself, ie) I'm not dying/don't have cancer/people far worse off than me. And although these things can all be true, do they really help ?? In my case Yes, as these are things I thought about even before my breakup. But for a lot of people I know this kind of thing doesn't really help that much. It's things to do rather than think, I find which are most helpful. Personally I have found swimming, getting in touch with people who I had lost contact with, casual dating (no jumping into realtionships straight away) all help. I'm quite into creative writing too, but I put it to one side while I was in my relationship, hoowever now I've got the time, I have started to look into writing stand up comedy and I'm planning on attending an open-mic night soon, and really testing myself. I want to know what the world thinks of me, because I've already heard my EX's opinion.
norajane Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Do something nice for other people. Whether that's shoveling the snow off your elderly neighbor's sidewalk, or going through your closets and donating warm clothes to Salvation Army, making a donation to a pet shelter, or actually volunteering your time, doing something that takes you out of your head and doing something good for others is one of the best ways to make yourself feel better. It reminds you that it's not all about you.
skydiveaddict Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 share your thoughts as I am presently in my coping stage (captain obvious!) and trying to pass time! SKYDIVE! seriously, do it best therapy ever discovered
xerofate Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 repeating over and over "there is someone out there for me." Anytime I feel especially down is good. My father said something to me: "being happy is a choice. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is. You choose to be happy, you choose to do the things that make you happy, you choose to do things that fill your time. Or you can choose to be miserable. Ultimatly, it's your choice." This was at my family's christmas eve party. And you know what? It WORKED. I decided I wasn't going to let her ruin my christmas with my family. Even when her father showed up to pick up my daughter, and said that they were having tons of fun up there, because they had a..... "friend" over (her new boyfriend) it just made me laugh. Again on christmas, when my kids accidentally called me by his name. Destroyed me, for a bit. But I CHOSE to be happy, I said "I won't let her ruin my christmas" and she didn't. I was terrified of christmas, terrified that it would be horrible, and you know what? It wasn't. I had the opportunity to work on christmas, and I turned it down. and I am REALLY glad I did. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY! Choose to do the things that make you happy! Chose to think about other things! Choose what makes YOU happy. I didn't beleive it at first, but it works!
Author kwiley Posted December 28, 2009 Author Posted December 28, 2009 Really needed that advice tonight. Thanks for your contribution and significant advice!
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