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Did I ruined this guy for a life-time?


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Posted (edited)

Hi can you all please don't flame me as I have already been labeled names on two relationships forums. It was getting so gross that the thread has been closed. But I got to admit, I did came up as arrogant before.

 

Once again, no flaming as I don't want this thread to be closed again (I just want your opinions and inputs without name calling please). I'm beginning to feel some discomfort and think that maybe I went too rough on him.

 

As most of you have probably read my threads many times, I was going to break up with my LDR boyfriend.

 

I just broke up with him today in the morning as he called to wish me a Merry Christmas (he didn't wish me Merry Christmas on 2007 nor 2008). Everyone on the other two forums think I have it planned that day. I didn't but I did had it planned to dump him any day he calls me. He happened to call this day and I dumped him.

 

As I was getting out of this family reunion I was wondering how he must have took it after we finished talking. We only talked for 5 minutes but I assumed it would have been more if I didn't dumped him. I should have done the break up some other day but I did it today, now I think he is probably disliking me greatly but won't say it.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Posted

Well, I must say the responses were pretty unified across gender lines :)

 

Anyway, what's done is done. I hope you find the balance and the guy you're looking for.

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Posted
Well, I must say the responses were pretty unified across gender lines :)

 

Anyway, what's done is done. I hope you find the balance and the guy you're looking for.

Yes the relationship was definitely not working out and he wasn't even going to come this year anyways. In addition, I didn't even love him anymore.

But maybe I should have watch out how I posted my thread on the other forums. I do admit I was feeling relief during the break up. There was not a single tear nor stress mood within me.

 

Now I will sure be more selective when dating a man and what I want in him.

Posted

I'd like to suggest attempting to date someone local to you. Someone with whom you can have regular face-to-face contact with. Someone you can call up, or vice versa, and say, hey how about dinner and a movie? I haven't really followed your story in detail, since LDR's are something I know little about, but I recall reading it was your first real relationship. If so, no worries. No one is perfect. What you learned will help you in the future, both in meeting your own needs and in being sensitive to another's feelings. Life lessons are usually always good :)

  • Author
Posted

Thank you for the input and yes he was my first real relationship as well as first experience. But yeah, I should have known ahead of time that it's very unlikely for people to stay with their first and that LDR's hardly ever worked out.

Oh well, what's done is done. The irony is even though he is now my ex and will never ask him back, I still yet remember the exact date and time of when I did it with him long ago. Why can I forget it already?

Posted

Your life will be full of memories. Just because you break up does not mean the relationship was devoid of memories you will have for a lifetime; memories of positive experiences. I assume when you 'did it' for the first time, it was a positive experience for you.

 

When you come to die, hopefully many years from now, all you will have is the memories of your life. I hope you have many and cherish them. :)

 

BTW, the guy will get over it, the same way I'm getting through a divorce, one day at a time. Life goes on :)

Posted

hmmmm...ill pass on this. Read some of your previous post on this. I just dont want to be harsh. gud luck..

Posted

What on Earth possessed you to break up with him when he called to say Merry Christmas? There was no better time the rest of the days of the year?

  • Author
Posted (edited)
hmmmm...ill pass on this. Read some of your previous post on this. I just dont want to be harsh. gud luck..
Thanks and well in the future I guess I can apply the following on me: Make myself immune to future break ups, a man that happens to cheat on me or arguments, etc. (if any future relationships starts going rocky again). After making myself immune then it becomes so much easier for me that I won't have time to cry about it nor go into one of those depressive state of mind or get angry. Off course I'll miss the person as he was part of me at some point but not in a sad way.

What on Earth possessed you to break up with him when he called to say Merry Christmas? There was no better time the rest of the days of the year?
I know but the occasion just happen to come by. If he wouldn't have called yesterday, nothing would have change. I would have still break up with him. However, I do agree now that this was a bit harsh and I should have go along with it, do the break up on another day after the Holiday. Edited by samsungxoxo
Posted

You strike me as an attention seeker "Strangely I don't real bad nor have any regrets whatsoever."

There seems to be no point to posting this question on several different sites other than to get a reaction. Maybe you're just young, if so forgive me.

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Posted
You strike me as an attention seeker "Strangely I don't real bad nor have any regrets whatsoever."

There seems to be no point to posting this question on several different sites other than to get a reaction. Maybe you're just young, if so forgive me.

It's because I'm a regular member there too but I didn't realize it was going to bring flaming so I came here.
Posted
It's because I'm a regular member there too but I didn't realize it was going to bring flaming so I came here.

 

can i ask u did he cheat on u ?

Posted

samsung, can't remember who posted this awhile back. but the 4x you never break up with someone are, new years,valentines day,b/d, and xmas. to do so you'll be forever remembered as a azzhole to them for life. so even if you did have good reason to break up with them,you timing was terrible.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
can i ask u did he cheat on u ?
No he didn't. They don't necessarily have to cheat nor abuse you in order to break up with them. There are other reasons...

samsung, can't remember who posted this awhile back. but the 4x you never break up with someone are, new years,valentines day,b/d, and xmas. to do so you'll be forever remembered as a azzhole to them for life. so even if you did have good reason to break up with them,you timing was terrible.
That I do agree. Hopefully he'll have a better time on New Year... Edited by samsungxoxo
Posted
No he didn't. They don't necessarily have to cheat nor abuse you in order to break up with them. There are other reasons...

That I do agree. Hopefully he'll have a better time on New Year...

 

I think its ok to break up no matter what day it is , the important point is to be brutually frank & honest in telling him the real reasons behind the break up so that he can be satisfied & is not wondering why it happened ?

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