shadowplay Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 (edited) My new boyfriend always seems to be happy, almost preternaturally so. I'm by contrast more in-between. For example, when we talk over im, phone, text everything is "great!" "awesome!" or "rad!" In person he's a bit more low-key, but it's really noticeable when we communicate online. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but my moods fluctuate. Because he's so chipper, I feel like I have to conceal most of my negativity. I basically parrot his sentiments when we talk online, but it feels so fake. He must be able to detect that. It's only a matter of time before he discovers what I'm really like. I dread that day. I really enjoy being with somebody who is more positive than I am, and I don't want to ruin this. Everything in his life is so perfect. He has a great family that he loves and is close to. He floats through school. He doesn't seem to have any real problems. When he talks about his family I don't know what to say about mine. I feel embarrassed by its dysfunctional it is. I worry he'll decide he likes me less because I don't come from a good family, that it must mean I'm fcked up in some way. Any advice? Edited December 26, 2009 by shadowplay
carhill Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 I know people like that. Know them long enough and you meet the 'repressed' part. Everyone is a balance. You feel the way you feel. IMO, better for it to be honest. Obviously, respect your partner, but be honest about how you feel. If it's a bad day, it's a bad day. Tomorrow is another day.
Green Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 My advice would be get out of your head and stop worrying about this because it is the worrying and not your family or your mood that will kill this.
TheBritishGuy Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Your overthinking the situation too much the man obviously likes you and he probably knows more about you than your giving him credit. There is nothing wrong or fake about trying to be more uplifting and it goes to show he is having a good effect on you.
DustySaltus Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 The key to any good relationship is acceptance. He can make you see things in a different light and you can make him see that as well. At the end of the day you're either good enough got him or not but don't change the essence of who you are for anyone. I tried that once and it was a big mistake.
Lovelybird Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 It does feel like fake. Some people learned to repress their negative feelings, or are taught to only see positives from every thing. I do not know if this kind of person really exist, that they don't have any negativeness in their lives (I don't believe a one person doesn't have bad feelings, it is like to say a person is perfect with no fault). Some people hide those negativeness because they think if they do show those negativeness, they will lose the loved ones. And this does affect the intimacy because they will feel they aren't trully known. In fact, many people are like that. I guess if you strive to be the one who stay truthful, he might learn to express those negativeness and still be accepted by you, then he probably will learn to more open up to you when he feels safe enough. But if you also avoid to communicate what is true, then probably you will never feel intimacy with him.
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