knime32 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 The purpose of this post though is that I keep having dreams about my ex-boyfriend and our relaitonship. A lot of them include me being very angry with him and yelling at him or doing things differently in our relationship and us not even breaking up. Some of them include him realizing he's made a huge mistake and coming back and begging me to forgive him and me dismissing him. All of these leave me discontent and anxious. Most recently, for at least the last 4 nights I've been having a dream where I'm sleeping and he comes in and hugs me in my sleep waking me up and saying, "Do you love me? I never wanted to do this and I feel like I've made a huge mistake, will you ever forgive me?" In my dream I tell him that he's hurt me and broken my heart in a million pieces and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him or trust him again. The dream spans over a week or so and in it he's doing everything that he should to try to prove to me that he really does love me and wants a future with me and the new girl he was with meant absolutely nothing to him. When I wake up I'm happy and content, not confused like with the other dreams. How do I interpret these dreams and do you guys ever have dreams that are similar? Is there any truth at all to them. Is my unconscious mind trying to tell me something? Is this a natural part of the coping process. I feel in the pit of my stomach that this is the biggest mistake of my life that I'm going through and I have absolutely no control over it. Background: My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a little over 3 weeks ago and had been dating for 6 years. He left the relationship because he wasn't "happy" anymore. We've broken up before and we've ended up getting back together. We were only broken up for 2 weeks the other times we broke up and he had been contacting me. Each time the relationship went through the problems we had and came out so much stronger than it was before. He discussed our relationship and what he should do with a few of his friends, but never discussed why he wasn't happy with me. I sit and wonder if we had just talked about it, could it have been fixed and things would have never gotten to where they are now. We haven't talked hardely at all and we've exhanged our belongings. Recently I found out that he had been set up for a blind date the week we broke up! He tells all of his friends that he's pretty serious about this girl. We're 22 and he's dating a woman close to 30. He's typically not this type of guy: very shy, slow to make a move, and insecure. It's surprising that he is supposedly in a relationship with her already after just breaking up 3 weeks ago. He won't tell anyone who set them up (all of his friends knew we were dating and that we were in a long serious committed relationship) or her name. What does that mean? Why won't he tell anyone anything about her?
Eisenhower Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 I know this won't make you feel any better, but I'm sad to say it appears to me that everyone is capable of lying. Everyone has a different reason - some will say it was because they didn't want to hurt you, some just have a character flaw, but even those you trust most thoroughly seem to be capable of lying if the conditions are right. I to sometimes wonder if I'd take my ex back, even after she lied to me (after we were broken up) about being with a new guy. I know I would probably be a sucker at first and be tempted by thinking I could get back what we had, but the truth is you can't. Once that trust is broken, I don't think a relationship will ever be "the same" ... Sorry to be such a downer, but I guess I'm just saying let him go ... the only way to heal (and I'm working on this myself) is to accept that it's over. Don't worry about what you'd do if they come back unless they actually do. Good luck, Eisenhower
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