knime32 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 The purpose of this post though is that I keep having dreams about my ex-boyfriend and our relaitonship. A lot of them include me being very angry with him and yelling at him or doing things differently in our relationship and us not even breaking up. Some of them include him realizing he's made a huge mistake and coming back and begging me to forgive him and me dismissing him. All of these leave me discontent and anxious. Most recently, for at least the last 4 nights I've been having a dream where I'm sleeping and he comes in and hugs me in my sleep waking me up and saying, "Do you love me? I never wanted to do this and I feel like I've made a huge mistake, will you ever forgive me?" In my dream I tell him that he's hurt me and broken my heart in a million pieces and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive him or trust him again. The dream spans over a week or so and in it he's doing everything that he should to try to prove to me that he really does love me and wants a future with me and the new girl he was with meant absolutely nothing to him. When I wake up I'm happy and content, not confused like with the other dreams. How do I interpret these dreams and do you guys ever have dreams that are similar? Is there any truth at all to them. Is my unconscious mind trying to tell me something? Background: My ex-boyfriend and I broke up a little over 3 weeks ago and had been dating for 6 years. He left the relationship because he wasn't "happy" anymore. We've broken up before and we've ended up getting back together. We were only broken up for 2 weeks the other times we broke up and he had been contacting me. Each time the relationship went through the problems we had and came out so much stronger than it was before. He discussed our relationship and what he should do with a few of his friends, but never discussed why he wasn't happy with me. I sit and wonder if we had just talked about it, could it have been fixed and things would have never gotten to where they are now. We haven't talked hardely at all and we've exhanged our belongings. Recently I found out that he had been set up for a blind date the week we broke up! He tells all of his friends that he's pretty serious about this girl. We're 22 and he's dating a woman close to 30. He's typically not this type of guy: very shy, slow to make a move, and insecure. It's surprising that he is supposedly in a relationship with her already after just breaking up 3 weeks ago. He won't tell anyone who set them up (all of his friends knew we were dating and that we were in a long serious committed relationship) or her name. What does that mean? Why won't he tell anyone anything about her?
Author knime32 Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 The dreams continue I keep having them. I've implemented NC with him but in my dreams I have we are talking about our relationship and they are so vivid and real, like they actually occur. Many of our friends, who most of are mutual, continue to tell me things about him and it is just confusing me more. I need help on sorting this one out. I don't want to move on but I know I have to. I am following all the right avenues, but I feel like I'm futher behind than I was when we first broke up. All of you experienced members, what is your advice!
JBaker Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 Are you asking whether or not the dreams have something to do with how he feels? I am sorry to tell you that they do not. At most, the dreams can tell you how You feel about the situation. It would seem that at some level you wish he would feel the same pain that you feel. Your brain is telling you that you want him back. It is telling you that you want him to work for your forgiveness. I wouldn't read too much into them if I were you. They will go away with time.
DenverBachelor Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 The dreams continue I keep having them. I've implemented NC with him but in my dreams I have we are talking about our relationship and they are so vivid and real, like they actually occur. Many of our friends, who most of are mutual, continue to tell me things about him and it is just confusing me more. I need help on sorting this one out. I don't want to move on but I know I have to. I am following all the right avenues, but I feel like I'm futher behind than I was when we first broke up. All of you experienced members, what is your advice! Having frequent dreams of any particular subject means your subconscious is dealing with a lot of intense emotions. Your brain is trying to reconcile the past and present and is focusing on the cause of your intense emotions -- your recent breakup. It is perfectly normal to have these dreams. Some will get intense. You may go a week with no dreams about him and then suddenly have several dreams in a row relating to him. To give you a parallel, I have been having frequent dreams of my ex. Most of my dreams actually are pleasant -- we actually sit down and talk like adults instead of acting like kids by throwing sand in each other's faces and then dragging the courts into it. Heh. But in my dreams, we'll talk about things and come to a mutual understanding. In some dreams, she apologizes to me. (Now I know where the expression, "In your dreams!" comes from). The last dream I had of her involved being on a bus with her and having lightning hit the bus repeatedly. It is interesting how the mind will make up strange stories with an underlying theme. I occasionally have dreams of my first love -- but only once in a blue moon. They're usually completely nonsensical and random, though. The dreams with my current ex are very vivid and strong and have a very clear theme.
Tasha1675 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 My ex of two years broke up with me 10 weeks ago. We were living together so i moved out immediately and we haven't spoken since. It's so hard as i love him and believe he loves me but it's just bad timing mostly - he's not ready to settle down and i am. I have dreamt about him almost every night since the break up! My dreams tend to be pretty crazy but all the ones about him just involve us talking or kissing or occasionally arguing. They are almost a comfort as we haven't been in contact at all and i miss him so much. All i can think is that they just show how much he is on my mind all the time and they reflect how much i am still trying to sort through what happened. I never get any answers in the dreams i have and i don't expect to get any. I think eventually the dreams will get fewer and fewer as i begin to move on. Here's hoping!
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