start-fresh Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Ugh, I can't take this anymore. I just need to vent because so much crap is running through my mind. The problem is I've got a huge thing for a former roommate's girlfriend. I've since graduated college and got a job a decent distance away from school. I'm not really meeting a lot of new women (I know, this is probably the problem) and I just miss having her around so much. We usually talk on the phone, I don't know, like once a month or something. Just catching up like old friends and I'm sure that's all she feels. Because I've got this thing for her my mind always rationalizes things that are probably just friendly gestures but I always wish they would be more. She says she misses me, she always complimented me about random crap when I saw her regularly, joked with her bf that if they ever got in a major fight she would just come stay with me for a while, etc. I've also rationalized the fact that I'm not actually in the dreaded 'friendzone', as I never really felt like I was being used or that I was giving more to our friendship than her. I think that's mainly a function of her personality though. The thing is, she's not the attention whore type at all. I know she would never cheat on her boyfriend, and frankly, any girl that would isn't interesting to me anyway. He's also a pretty stand up guy. I considered him a good friend while I was at school, but he hasn't really put in the effort to stay in touch like I have with him, and by that I mean never putting any effort in. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if I would show some interest back what would happen, but I don't want to be 'that guy.' I don't know, they've been together two years at least and I've just got their relationship up on a pedestal as going the distance. Ah, that feels better. Merry xmas everybody.
TheBritishGuy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 If I didn't know any better I'd say she likes you perhaps a little more than a friend. Bad situation to be in to be honest she sounds like a real catch.
Author start-fresh Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 Yeah, she's a cool chick for sure. I know she's the type of girl that even if she had interest in me or another guy, she would need a real good reason to throw away her pretty decent relationship and risk it with someone new. I guarantee you that would be her reasoning.
scenester Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Ugh, I can't take this anymore. I just need to vent because so much crap is running through my mind. The problem is I've got a huge thing for a former roommate's girlfriend. I've since graduated college and got a job a decent distance away from school. I'm not really meeting a lot of new women (I know, this is probably the problem) and I just miss having her around so much. We usually talk on the phone, I don't know, like once a month or something. Just catching up like old friends and I'm sure that's all she feels. Because I've got this thing for her my mind always rationalizes things that are probably just friendly gestures but I always wish they would be more. She says she misses me, she always complimented me about random crap when I saw her regularly, joked with her bf that if they ever got in a major fight she would just come stay with me for a while, etc. I've also rationalized the fact that I'm not actually in the dreaded 'friendzone', as I never really felt like I was being used or that I was giving more to our friendship than her. I think that's mainly a function of her personality though. The thing is, she's not the attention whore type at all. I know she would never cheat on her boyfriend, and frankly, any girl that would isn't interesting to me anyway. He's also a pretty stand up guy. I considered him a good friend while I was at school, but he hasn't really put in the effort to stay in touch like I have with him, and by that I mean never putting any effort in. I don't know, sometimes I wonder if I would show some interest back what would happen, but I don't want to be 'that guy.' I don't know, they've been together two years at least and I've just got their relationship up on a pedestal as going the distance. Ah, that feels better. Merry xmas everybody. Well, I'm sorry to say but she's already in a (what sounds like) a committed relationship. There's no sense in playing kiddy games or anything trying to break her and her bf up. You even said she's the kind of girl that is rather faithful. Just keep the contact to a minimum while shes still with her bf/and don't act like you're interested in her cause that will only push her farther away cause she is already committed to someone. Just the occasional "hey! how are ya?" text/call and the occasional 'get-together' will suffice. She will prob mention something (if and when) they break up to you when you 'plantonically' contact her. Once you hear the news, jump on the first boat over to her and show interest. This is when a girl is in her most vulnerable emotional state. Take advantage of that. She will likely love the attention and new interest.
skydiveaddict Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 He's also a pretty stand up guy. I considered him a good friend while I was at school, Ah, that feels better. Merry xmas everybody. dude, are you serious ? there's nothing lower than trying to to steal a "good friend's" girl. how would you feel if he did that to you?
TheBritishGuy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 He didn't say he was going to steal her he made it clear he wouldn't do so in fact. Read the second to last paragraph. He doesn't want to be "that guy" aka the one that would ruin a girls good relationship.
pureveritas Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Sometimes it just feels good to vent... You did that , and did it well. Hope it helped. The "what'if's" can really trip you up. Embrace the "what is" and enjoy a great friendship with her and your old roomie. let the rest go..
alphamale Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 He's also a pretty stand up guy. I considered him a good friend while I was at school, then you shouldn't be talking to his woman...and anyways you are totally friendzoned. don't be friends with women in this manner. if you're sleeping with her then by all means be friends and lovers together.
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