xpressyaself22 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 I can't seem to figure this guy out for the life of me, and need all of the advise I can get. I dated a guy for about 4 months before he decided that he was too busy for a relationship, but he wanted to remain good friends. His birthday is next month, and we were planning a birthday party for him, that I agreed to pay for as his present. This was all agreed upon before we stopped dating. Which was about two weeks ago. Well ever since then, he continues to text me, and my confusion is in the fact that when we text it's not fun anymore, he doesn't joke around with me, often times he's straight to the point or just uses one word answers. I take this as a sign of him not being very interested, so I just stop texting, and then the next day after he hasn't heard anything he'll text me to see what I'm up to. We were never physical while we were dating besides making out, but about a week after ending it he started texting me telling me was depressed because he couldn't stop thinking about sex and then another night asked if I would ever have sex with a guy I wasn't dating.... furthermore, we use to hang out at least 2-3 times a week, and I've asked him several times since becoming just friends about hanging out, and it seems like he's just giving me the run around. He'll say we can hangout when I get off work, and then when I text him after work, he tells me he has something to do at 11 which is only a few hours away, or the latest one, he tells me we can hang out, and then he texts me a few hours later and says "I would hang out with you but I don't have any money" Now I'm at a loss because I haven't seen him since before he decided he was too busy for a relationship. I guess my question is do you think he is just using me to have his birthday party, and if you were in my shoes, would you still have the birthday party? Also can anyone explain the text thing? I've only talked to the guy twice on the phone, and both times I called, he has only texted, which created problems both while we were dating, and now that we are just friends, why do people just rely solely on texts?
You'reasian Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Face to face discussion. No way around it. Hash it out and see where it goes.
lostwithafuture Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Try talking to him and be forward about it, personally I don't think he seems like he really likes you otherwise he would make more of an effort.
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Yes, he's attempting to use you- BIGTIME. You printed everything out for yourself to see- go back and read it and tell us what advice you would give to your best friend or sister about a guy like this. Anyone that tells you they are too busy for a relationship is telling you that you aren't worth the investment. No one is EVER TOO BUSY for someone they really like. He's asking about sex- but he's already told you he doesn't want a relationship. Why would you even consider to pay for his b-day party? Honestly- anyone with an ounce of self respect wouldn't consider paying for a dude's b-day after he has dumped them. HE DUMPED YOU! DON'T PAY FOR HIS B-DAY PARTY. Yes, this guy is attempting to use you- how could you even question that after what you wrote about him and how he is treating you????
boogieboy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 He IS using you. Cut off contact with him, not only is this going no wheere, and he wants to turn you into a booty call, but he wants to use you for the party to boot. Since youre not dating ,and he wont date you anymore, you arent obligated to do anything. Dont pay for the party.
Lovelybird Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 First, if you have this nagging little voice to tell you something, then most of time it is right, learn to listen to it more. when someone really cares about you, you know that you know. Second, I think not paying for his birthday will be a good idea. Later you may hate yourself by paying for his birthday. The problem here is not giving itself. The problem here is that you give it with resentment. Paying for his birthday will make you feel used, then stop doing it. I think he is definitely not interested in you, at least right now. And one thing I don't feel comfortable is his character. Man usually doesn't want their woman pay for them, especially at the beginning. and he even went further, wanted you to be his FWB ! Let him go, you will be glad.
SoulSearch_CO Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Sounds to me like he's trying to groom you to be his fck buddy.
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