SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 I have a gf. I'm a virgin. She is not. She wants me to have sex with her, but I don't want to because I kinda thought that I wanted my first time to be with another virgin. I really like her (I'm questioning this, btw) but I have no clue as to the real reason why she wants to have sex with me, or why she's bugging me so much to do it. For the record, I am 22 years old, and in college (I blame the all-boys schooling for not being sexually active) and I am SO confused as to what I should do. 1) What should I do? Should I do it with her? 2) Can someone please tell me why she wants to have sex with me? I think I can answer this one on my own, so tell me if you think I'm wrong. A: She has too much sexual frustration from being with me and not getting any (Highly unlikely) B: She wants to feel power over me in the fact that she knows more about it and is better (Idk) C: She just wants, like guys do, to have another 'trophy', where every virgin you break out counts as a + in the respect meter between friends (I REALLY don't think its this, because if she was that kinda person, I'd have left her months ago) * 8 months together, no sex *
Yukikazi Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Just do it dude.. Seriously the chances of you finding an age compatible virgin is quickly shrinking.. You have a gf that wants to have sex with you and you are holding back? If you don't submit soon she will look elsewhere for her sexual gratification. Is because you want your first to be a virgin also your only excuse for saying no?
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 OK, help me out. You wanted to lose your virginity to another virgin. Cool, I get that. Heck, I wanted to wait until I was married. What I don't get is, with all that accepted, why you would choose to have a GF who isn't a virgin? I mean, if you have a non-virgin GF, how can you lose your virginity to another virgin? Did your GF know this? Eight months is a long time. She's probably marriage material. Better wait
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 I've been going to library (Irrelevant), and I seem to have *attracted* the attention of a 18 year old girl, who shares the same ideas that I do (meaning she's a virgin). The thing is, I can never seem to think about having sex with my gf, only of her, which is why I said I'm questioning if I like her now or not. *Sorry for not mentioning it before. I just wanted to know if someone was paying attention to the thread*
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 The thing is, I can never seem to think about having sex with my gf, only of her, which is why I said I'm questioning if I like her now or not. OK, full stop. Be honest with your current GF and break up with her. It's one thing to want to real bad but wait and clearly another to not even think about it, and worse, think about it with another woman. Fair enough?
boogieboy Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 I have a gf. I'm a virgin. She is not. She wants me to have sex with her, but I don't want to because I kinda thought that I wanted my first time to be with another virgin. I really like her (I'm questioning this, btw) but I have no clue as to the real reason why she wants to have sex with me, or why she's bugging me so much to do it. For the record, I am 22 years old, and in college (I blame the all-boys schooling for not being sexually active) and I am SO confused as to what I should do. 1) What should I do? Should I do it with her? 2) Can someone please tell me why she wants to have sex with me? I think I can answer this one on my own, so tell me if you think I'm wrong. A: She has too much sexual frustration from being with me and not getting any (Highly unlikely) B: She wants to feel power over me in the fact that she knows more about it and is better (Idk) C: She just wants, like guys do, to have another 'trophy', where every virgin you break out counts as a + in the respect meter between friends (I REALLY don't think its this, because if she was that kinda person, I'd have left her months ago) * 8 months together, no sex * Ill clue you in. If Youve really been together 8 months, all the time, she doesnt see you as a notch in her belt. She wants to have sex because of these exact reasons: 1.) Sex feels REALLY good when its with someone special. 2.) She is horny, and horny for you and no one else, a lil frustrated 3.) sex in a relationship is a great bond between two people. Women take sex very seriously and if she wanted just sex, she could get it from anyone, but she only wants it from you. Women attach deep feelings with sex with the guy the like. Its the icing on the cake. She only has power over you when you LET her have power over you. How do you overcome that? YOU take charge of experimenting with the sex. Let her teach you at first, and then you take over trying new things. So go ahead and do it, she will make sure you enjoy it, and it will bring you two closer. You wont understand that until you do it. Its really not important for a guy to lose his virginity to another virgin. Plus, in this day and age, it will take you a few more years before you find another virgin. When you finally do it with your gf, you will wonder why you didnt do it sooner. Trust me
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 boogie, you make a lot of sense. I don't want to leave my gf, you can't just give up someone like that easily. And plus, the way I built my relationship with her is that we never give up without a fight, so I know that she's not gonna hide in a corner and cry, she's gonna want me to deal with it. I mean, she waited long enough already. 2 more things: 1) I've been learning a lot about sex. Oral, squirting, and how to make a woman come, to sort of bridge the gap with me and her, so I KNOW she's gonna like it 2) I have a LOT of fantasies about the other girl and they always get me aroused, as opposed to 6 weeks ago (before I met her), I always used to get aroused thinking about my gf. Am I going mentally insane here, or what?
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Okay, I'll feed the troll. A 22 year old guy- never had sex- you have a serious gf who isn't a virgin, but has been patient with you for 8 months not getting any- but she's begging for it. Either you're a troll, or your handle "special" Dan refers to the short bus you ride to school everyday.
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 You have attraction for the other young lady. If you're exclusively with your GF, especially in a non-sexually intimate relationship, that can be a problem. It sucks energy from what your GF rightly deserves from you. This happened to me a lot when a virgin and when celibate because there was no sexual focal point of intimacy. That 'extra' intimate contact didn't exist and my attention could be drawn elsewhere. Men and women are built to have sex. It's part of why we do what we do. For some it is purely pleasure; for others, it's an expression of intimacy; for others a mixture of both. For nearly all, it is essential to a healthy intimate relationship. If you don't get aroused when thinking of your GF, why would you want to have sex with her?
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 Special Dan is the name of a store near to where I live. My name IS Dan. I went to a mixed elementary school, and then an all boys prep school (on scholarship). I finally got into college, as an engineering student(and you know how hard it is). Why is it that when it sounds weird, people always assumes it's a troll? I can give you an entire autobiography if you like.
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 OP, there's been a real influx of virgins and nice guys of late and more than a few trolls, so some posters are naturally skeptical. Most of these new posters have been male. BTW, welcome to LS
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 I gonna go ahead and do it with her (my gf) because I think I am suffering from sexual frustration as well. Does anyone have any tips or tricks to it? ^^ Thank you ^^
D-Lish Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Ooh, the short bus... brutal Perhaps a little brutal. But I am still skeptical. Come on- what 22 year old virgin logically and continuously turns down the biological need for sex with a willing and seemingly great by all accounts partner?
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 OK, D, now he wants to do it. Help him out, Yoda
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 I kinda thought of it as a power struggle thing, you know. She having an advantage over me, and I would kill her if she told anyone about it.
PinkToes Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Just be prepared that after you have sex with her, she may get more attached. It's biological. Make sure you're ready for that possibility. Does she know you're not even certain that you like her?
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 I honestly don't mind her getting more attached to me. I just wish that my focus could be put back on her rather than someone else, because I don't want her to go.
PinkToes Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Cool. Then jump on in and enjoy it. And rest assured that she's still with you because she genuinely cares for you, and just wants to get closer.
Throne Of Lies Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Honestly? Sleep with your girlfriend. The whole virgin thing is overrated. Sometimes when you deflower one they will be really good at sex, but that isn't usually the case. Plus, only one of mine bled but WOW there was so much blood. Everywhere, all over my junk and the bed, she squealed sort of and then wiggled away to go soak in the shower. Seriously, it was more blood than I have ever seen, and I've been in combat. Plus, it wasn't, I know this sounds weird, like healthy blood. God it was so gross. You really won't miss your v-card when it is gone man, that is the benefit of being male. Your worth is based on how High your number is, not how Low. You are 22. Get the fires burning man, their is plenty of time to sleep with virgins later if that is your thing. (BTW, if that is your thing, that is sort of creepy and maybe you should talk to somebody about it)
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 No that's not my thing. Some of the prep boys, sure, man when they hear the word virgin, they'd all be throwing game at her. But, I'm kinda trying (more like forcing) to answer this question, and so far it's looking pretty good: What makes her so special to me? I know that it's something that only I have the answer to but it's really seeming to help me. Thanks guys, I think I will go ahead with it. And I guess I am... .
tkgirl Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Honestly? Sleep with your girlfriend. The whole virgin thing is overrated. Sometimes when you deflower one they will be really good at sex, but that isn't usually the case. Plus, only one of mine bled but WOW there was so much blood. Everywhere, all over my junk and the bed, she squealed sort of and then wiggled away to go soak in the shower. Seriously, it was more blood than I have ever seen, and I've been in combat. Plus, it wasn't, I know this sounds weird, like healthy blood. God it was so gross. You really won't miss your v-card when it is gone man, that is the benefit of being male. Your worth is based on how High your number is, not how Low. You are 22. Get the fires burning man, their is plenty of time to sleep with virgins later if that is your thing. (BTW, if that is your thing, that is sort of creepy and maybe you should talk to somebody about it) ok, I can't believe I'm going to commit on this but... that much blood is not normal. I think that girl must have been on her period for sure... so stop scaring the OP! and speaking of the OP...think about WHY you want to have sex with your girlfriend. Is it because you want to deepen the bond with her, or is it only to "get it over with" because she's bugging you for it or you're tired of being a virgin? If you have feelings for this other girl, maybe you should try to figure those out first. It sounds like you are attracted to her because she is a virgin too and deep down that's what you've been waiting for. I'd think about it some more or you could have some regrets afterwards...
Author SpecialDan Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 Deepen the bond with her? Yes Because she's bugging me? Yes, in the event that she gets fed up and moves along Tired of being a virgin? Yes Attracted to this other girl because she is also a virgin and deep down it's what I've been waiting for? Yes If this were an experiment, the results would be inconclusive However, the reason why I have her for a gf is undeniable, and that can never be ignored. So, I don't think I should explore too deeper into this other girl because of this bond that I obviously share with my gf. I attribute it to this because I don't see any attraction (other than sexual) to this other girl and I guess I could just ignore it???? (Does anyone know if that will go away?) I guess I created this image of a 'perfect one' and I just put the other girl's face to the body, when it should be the one who's deserving of it.
Green Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Sex with nonvirgins will be better. I can understand why you would want to be with a virgin but seriously your chance of humilation/disease are probably just as high. First off a virgin could still complain or scream at you, in fact I think you are more likely to get humilated with a virgin because they can't help you and u might not even be able to get it in with her if shes in pain and not helping. Finaly girls often lie about being a virgin or don't understand what a virgin is, so they may have given bjs, had anal sex, heck maybe even had a dick in them but not let it in all the way so their chery is still intact and they consider themselves a virgin... Seriously don't even put virgin or non virgin into your head it doesn't matter. I for the record enjoy non virgins much more then virgin girls and lost my virginity to a girl who was already sexualy active when I met her
tkgirl Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Deepen the bond with her? Yes Because she's bugging me? Yes, in the event that she gets fed up and moves along Tired of being a virgin? Yes Attracted to this other girl because she is also a virgin and deep down it's what I've been waiting for? Yes If this were an experiment, the results would be inconclusive However, the reason why I have her for a gf is undeniable, and that can never be ignored. So, I don't think I should explore too deeper into this other girl because of this bond that I obviously share with my gf. I attribute it to this because I don't see any attraction (other than sexual) to this other girl and I guess I could just ignore it???? (Does anyone know if that will go away?) I guess I created this image of a 'perfect one' and I just put the other girl's face to the body, when it should be the one who's deserving of it. actually now when I think about, 8 months is a heck of a long time for you to figure it out.. I say do it! just know that it WILL change your relationship with your GF.. not saying it will be a bad change, just different. I guess I just brought up the point about the other girl so you would be fair to your GF... if you are unsure about your feelings for her then having sex can make it even more confusing.. but you won't know until you do it... so do it already!
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