Bulldozed Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Last night was awesome, except for one tiny thing. My father, brother and 4 other guys assembled a xmas caroling ensemble and paraded through their neighborhood, singing and drinking and having a great nite. One of the guys is great friends with the family of my exgf's last boyfriend. Given her past, and involvement with this particular guy (a drug user,alcoholic) and her 2 divorces, she always obsessed about what the neighbors on this street thought about her. This was something I had to constantly hear about, to the point that it affected our relationship. She was never able to leave this guy in the past. These neighbors of my family (we're only talking two big families) would hear how she's trying to rescue him. They were just glad she wasn't with him anymore, however they never understood why she continued to put herself out there for him when she was "allegedly" with me? Well one of the guys who is best friends w/her ex's brother told me last night that he had lunch w/my princess on Monday. He went to see her at her job, as he broke his eyeglasses and she provides him w/optical discounts. He took her to lunch, and she went on about her involvement w/my family and how much she loved them. Never mentioned me, except to tell him I sent a pretty harsh email to her a couple months ago, to which I apologized to her a few wks later. I posted a copy of it on LS. It wasn't received well here, but it served it's purpose, though she never acknowledged it. Instead she copied me on a mindless chain mail along w/the current guy she's screwing and others a couple days later. Incidentally, she has yet to admit she's with this guy, except probably to her ex's before me (sister-n-law). She is best friends with her, yet wondered why I had a problem with this friendship, since the only reason she ever knew what was going on in her ex's life, was because of this friendship. Hmmmm, I wonder? Never told her to stop being friends, just maybe not be so involved. This woman was always giving her updates about the ex, his arrest, threats of suicide, hanging w/crack whores...we're talking real quality here people! Regardless, not real fair to me....sorry, I digress.... This is the first night I've drank booze in over 2 months. Well when the night ended, I *67 my ex' number so it wouldn't reveal my number and did this from my bro's house phone. I had the drunken good sense to hang up before the first ring finished. I sobered up for a couple of hours and drove home. My cell phone remained in my car all evening and sure enough I missed a "restricted" call, at 12:41 am. She obviously assumed it was me that called her, though I haven't phoned/texted or otherwise initiated any contact w/her whatsoever since October. I spoke w/the neighbor who had lunch w/her today, as he was pretty hammered last night and found out more particulars about their lunch conversation. I thought he'd at least have my back and defend me and how her obsession and self induced drama about what these people thought of her was ridiculous and how she really screwed up a good thing with me. I've been real good for the past month and half or two, but today, I've been having real issues with all of this. Note to self, NO MORE BOOZE, save for the occasional glass of wine w/dinner. I know she's not the one, but there's so many things I would love to say to her. I'm tired of writing in a journal. I'm tired of writing emails i'll never send...I'm just tired.....I'm 43 and believed I had the person I was going to marry, I believed that early on. I went xmas shopping yesterday with my business partner and his gf. His gf and I go way back, and she's my ex's bff and was with my ex 2 yrs ago when we re-met after 8 yrs of little contact. I told her yesterday I wished I never gone to that party in 07', she got upset at that statement as my friendship to her, has sort of replaced the one she had w/my ex. I think it hurt her feelings, but given what I've gone through, being so utterly taken advantage of and lied to and cheated on, I'd would gladly trade that night two years ago for something else....all this relationship has taught me is how not to trust...I know thats a shallow thing to say, but I have real difficulty finding anything of value that I can take from this relationship.
GrayClouds Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Hang in there, she is full of issues that is no longer your problem. Be kind to yourself.
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