Author singlemom19 Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 thank you...he has been pretty good on the visitation...he gets her every weekend..sunday to monday but on days where he doesnt have monday off...he sometimes wiil get her sunday morning bring her back sunday nite then come again during the middle of the week when he has a day off...once he didnt get was when he ran out of gas n didnt have any money to get some so he didnt get her or once he was almost out of gas n was afraid of being stranded on the side of the road wit her so i gave him money n the other time when he didnt get her was when he got tickets to a vikings game for xmas so he went to tht n he didnt get her for xmas cause we both agreed tht we didnt want her out on the roads when the weather is bad
New_Life08 Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 D-Lish is right on this. He will just find better ways to hide it. He will talk to his screwed up friends who will give him advice on how to hide it better.... through another phone service he gets and keeps at work, have messages sent to an online message system, and/or email accounts you know nothing about and when you start catching on..he will turn it on you that you are nuts and need counseling for your insecurity issues. Best of luck with this one.
Justtoodangtired Posted December 27, 2009 Posted December 27, 2009 One thing you said really worried me. You said you were "stuck" with him. I understand you have a child together and for that reason and that reason only, you will have to deal with him. But honey you are NOT "STUCK" with him, in terms of a relationship. Take this from me. I am a forty year old mother of two teenagers and I have been in more than one bad relationship. And when it is bad, for whatever reason, it will NOT get better, expecially at your young ages. Sure I can almost see someone in older years making a mistake and doing intensive therapy and changing. MAYBE! But my dear, at your age, you do not have to put up with this kind of behavior. As someone else said to you, you are young, smart and a beautiful girl. You have your entire life ahead of you to find the one who will treat you with respect. Please do not settle for anything less. A man cries because he got caught. He is crying for himself. I promise you that. You made me sure of this when you later said now he won't talk about it and gets angry. That is self preservation. He doesn't want to deal with this. He just wants you to get over it. That for you is not possible at this stage, is it? You said child support will start later. You don't need to have child supprt be "formally" started for a father to help take care of his child. He should be bringing you money, no matter how little every time he comes.She is a newborn and newborns are expensive. Believe me, I have seen his type before. They are self centered and will never change for your relationships sake. he may very well turn out to be a decent father. However, I suspect, that too will decrease over time. you talk of the distance between you. Do you really think he is being faithful that far away. No matter how many hours someone works, if he wants to see someone, he will find the time and energy. Remember when you both first started dating. Didn't you both have more energy where you could stay up late talking and getting together any chance you could. I know I did in my early stages of a relationship. So, he'll find the energy. I am not telling you to break up with him or stay. Only you can know what is right for you. However, I am telling you, you make your life choices and do what you feel is best for you. You have so much life to live and there are good men out there. Don't ever settle! You need to remember that you have a daughter now. And you need to be her example. I wish you the best of luck. You seem like such a sweet girl.
MichiganMan222 Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 I just think that everybody deserves a 2nd chance, everyone makes mistakes, if he really regrets & promise not to repeat, I guess you should rethink. Like leaving the oven on or backing the car into a bush? yeah Yes, divorce can ease your pain, but what's next? Life without getting cheated on. It rocks. Will you find a better man? Ummm....yeah? Will your child grow up w/o a daddy? A child should grow up in a happy household. Sometimes that means both biological parents, sometimes not. Can you live without him? I'd bet the mortgage she can. ...ask your heart. Bad idea. Let the brain take this one. If the guy had been cheating for the past years & things does not improve, then maybe separation is the solution, but this discovery was only few days back. Discuss heart to heart, most importantly he should know how hurt you are. How can you discuss heart to heart with a cheater? They just tell you what you want to hear. And his idea of 'not hurting her' is not getting caught next time.
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