lsb Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 To do or not to do? He keeps messaging me wish me happy holidays and asking to be friends. I don't want to be his friend or have anything to do with him (bad breakup and he has a ton of issues). I am leaving it alone, just wondering should I just say have a good christmas and i wish you well or something and then leave it alone. I mean i dont want to stay mad forever, but not really him in my life either.
gaudi Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 To do or not to do? He keeps messaging me wish me happy holidays and asking to be friends. I don't want to be his friend or have anything to do with him (bad breakup and he has a ton of issues). . If what you say is true, then there is absolutely no point in wishing him happy xmas or anything like that, just get on with your own christmas and leave him to it.
WTRanger Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I doubt he's telling you merry Christmas because that what he wants to. I can bet there are underlying reasons for this. If you must respond, do so. But keep it blunt, short and never respond to anything else. Sometimes ignoring him will only make him want to reach out and figure out why you aren't responding. Does he know that you no longer wish him to be in your life or are you hoping he just "gets it?"
Author lsb Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 This goes back a while. I told him around the end of the summer I thought it was best of we stopped talking to each other. .... I think he thinks we can be friends now? or at some point? .... I don't want to be friends with him. He is a drama case. And I am not wishing him a Merry Christmas. I just...really do wish he would just go away. He already dated someone and broke up with her like a month ago and contacted me then also. ..... I guess I can just continue to ignore? I mean what could I say in a nice, non mean way that hey, i don't want to talk to you? I just don't want to start another fight or have a big drama fest.
BTLC23 Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 lsb im prob in the same position as your ex boyfriend. I had some contact with my ex gf then went no contact now she wont respond to me at all. I wouldn't say anything because I no if my ex did and I wud like her too it would give me a small sense of hope, just ignore him unless hes got something really good to say. BTW, what would your ex bf have to do to get you back, it seems like hes pushed you so far away that your sick of him. Thats what i believe i did to my ex before we broke up. So I'm wondering what if anything would change your mind or have you thinking differently about him.
WTRanger Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 You need to be up front with him. If you are simply ignoring him in the hopes that he gets it, he may not. He may think you are just playing a game or hard to get. Just be honest. Say exactly what you said. Tell him, "I think it is better if we do not speak and I just want to move forward with my life. So please leave me alone and understand that I will not be responding to you anymore." If he doesn't understand that, then this guy is socially retarded.
Beeotch Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 To do or not to do? He keeps messaging me wish me happy holidays and asking to be friends. I don't want to be his friend or have anything to do with him (bad breakup and he has a ton of issues). I am leaving it alone, just wondering should I just say have a good christmas and i wish you well or something and then leave it alone. I mean i dont want to stay mad forever, but not really him in my life either. You can be nice and cordial without being friends...so I'd say it. Being cordial to my ex helps me feel better than when I am upset at him. As they saying, hating someone is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemy to die. So I'd just practice being positive towards the person...it really does wonders...esp when they know they don't deserve it. However, you shouldn't feel obligated to say it. If you REALLY don't want to, don't.
carhill Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 No harm with a broadcast holiday best wishes e-mail with him in the BCC list if there are no residual feelings. If there are, that's a breach of NC and not appropriate. If you don't find any common ground for friendship, then he is as important as any other human on earth you don't express holiday wishes to.
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