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Do opposites REALLY attract? Or am I better suited with a similar guy?


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Posted

[font=times new roman][/font][color=darkblue][/color]Do opposites really attract?

I know of two guys that like me right now (they have told me themselves), and I could see myself dating either one of them. One of them is quiet and romantic like me, and is more or less one of my good friends. It is very easy to talk to him, and we are very similar. The other guy has some of the same qualities as me, such as kindness, but we are pretty different. He is very funny and makes me laugh all of the time, and I have a lot of fun hanging out with him. He is loud, where I am usually fairly quiet, but when I'm with him I find myself doing crazy stuff and being more happy and outgoing, while when I'm with the other guy I feel more mellow and calm.

Which guy would I have a better relationship with? The guy who is very similar to me, or the guy who is very different? Is there some truth in the saying "opposites attract" or not?

Posted

Opposites do attract in the short term because they break up some monotony and you can learn new things from each other. The more open minded the two of you are, the better the shared experiences and dissimilar personalities. But someone who generally shares your interests, values, and life philosophies will make the better partner in the longrun. If you're just doing some casual dating, I would go for somebody who can introduce you to new activities, ideas, etc. But, in the end, when you're looking for somebody to settle down with...find somebody who is similar to yourself...NOT a perfect clone, of course.

 

Yes, opposites do attract. But, then, again they can attract flies as well. It doesn't make a lot of difference who you're attracted to if the ensuing relationship is not mutually satisfying.

Posted

first of all, if you're not sure, why not casually date both of them for now?

 

second of all, i think there has to be a balance - being very similar can get boring, being very diff't can get too hard - it's ideal to be with someone who's similar in aspects that're most important to you, and diff't in ways that make your life more fun.

 

have fun,

-yes

Posted

I never did understand the whole "opposites attract" thing. Say there is a dark, gothic guy who listens to Cradle of Filth...would he be attracted to a peppy cheerleader who spent the weekends at the mall? :)

 

The Bottom Line: The "opposites attract" thing only seems to work for magnets!

Posted

NOT a perfect clone, of course

 

Of course! :)

 

It sure is nice, when life piles on the troubles, to know somebody who shares your values and philosophies is on side with you to support you through whatever you have to deal with. It's terrific to be half of a team; to work in partnership and cooperation with each other, knowing that you have each other's back.

 

Augh. That's not very eloquent, is it? It half sounds cold but that's not how it's meant. It's wonderful to feel that you belong with (notice; not 'to') someone. It's easier to create that sort of partnership when you're similar.

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