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Weird vibe at end of second date - mention it if asking her out again


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Posted (edited)

For starters - long time reader, first time poster. I just got back from a second date last night. The first date went swimmingly well, and ended with a very nice kiss. I invited her out a few nights later, and she seemed pretty excited to see me. The evening went pretty well, good conversation, great eye contact, she was asking about my brothers, etc. Then we walk out to her car, it was cold, and she was shivering. For some reason, I went initially for a hug, which she warmly returned, then a slight silence (I know, bad), then I kissed her. Not much response, she didn't shy away, but it was kind of like kissing a dead fish. Not sure if it was because she was freezing, if I accidently friended her with the hug/silence, or something else.

 

Given the first date and good vibe up until saying good night in date 2, I'm definitely going to try to get her to go out with me again, but was wondering if I should mention the strange vibe I got when saying good night, or just pretend that it never happened. Did I friend her, is she just not that into me, was she honestly freezing and just dying to get into her warm car, or did I do something else wrong (what)? And given the strange feedback, should I test the waters with e-mail, or just dive in with a call.

 

That's it...still learning the dating routine on this end, so anything you say you can offer, even bad, is helpful. Happy holidays!

Edited by CaspianDreams
Posted

Welcome!

 

I would file this under 'Seriously not a big deal'. I had the EXACT same thing happen to me a few years ago, and I ended up making the girl my girlfriend and we dated for years. Don't sweat it. She will remember it, but probably in a different context than you. Always keep a positive frame- some of the PUA guys think "OMG I am going to crush this vag and every other one ever" but I go with something like "This girl really likes me, and I really like her, and we are going to be so happy together" It keeps you positive, and it is way less misogynist, which is usually (but not always) a good thing.

Posted

You won't know until you ask her out again.

I wouldn't bring up the vibe you felt. You'll get your answer if she accepts another date.

Posted

at least you went for the kiss...I've been out with this girl twice and gave her hugs goodnight both times and the dates went really well.

 

you're fine. Knock her out with the next one if she goes for a third date.

Posted

the funny thing is that she is probably worrying about it too. my guess is that she thought the hug was the good-bye and then got caught off guard by the kiss and then felt awkward and out of order. definitely do another date and no mentioning it. having something to worry about kind of keeps it interesting.

Posted
For starters - long time reader, first time poster. I just got back from a second date last night. The first date went swimmingly well, and ended with a very nice kiss. I invited her out a few nights later, and she seemed pretty excited to see me. The evening went pretty well, good conversation, great eye contact, she was asking about my brothers, etc. Then we walk out to her car, it was cold, and she was shivering. For some reason, I went initially for a hug, which she warmly returned, then a slight silence (I know, bad), then I kissed her. Not much response, she didn't shy away, but it was kind of like kissing a dead fish. Not sure if it was because she was freezing, if I accidently friended her with the hug/silence, or something else.

 

Given the first date and good vibe up until saying good night in date 2, I'm definitely going to try to get her to go out with me again, but was wondering if I should mention the strange vibe I got when saying good night, or just pretend that it never happened. Did I friend her, is she just not that into me, was she honestly freezing and just dying to get into her warm car, or did I do something else wrong (what)? And given the strange feedback, should I test the waters with e-mail, or just dive in with a call.

 

That's it...still learning the dating routine on this end, so anything you say you can offer, even bad, is helpful. Happy holidays!

 

Well first off, it sounds like things are going well with this. From what you have mentioned, it sounds like she is very interested in you. Anyways....

 

I'd act like it never happened to show her that your confident with yourself and more importantly, the situation. I wouldn't mention anything to her to spare yourself the awkwardness of saying "Sorry about pausing before kissing you the other night, but when I did, you didn't seem that into it. Whys that? Did I do something wrong?..." Show her that its no big deal and show her the same amount of interest as before. Unless, she starts showing signs of disinterest, then, back off completely.

Posted

I think you are getting good advice here on it not being a big deal, but when I was in an identical situation, I did bring it up to create this tense, awkward, humorous situation. It worked really well, and she ended up laughing a lot and we made out. So believe in your own invulnerability and you will be fine, you can even turn this around to your advantage.

  • Author
Posted

Wow - so many responses, so fast. It's interesting that no one thinks it's a big deal. Hey, maybe it's not, but I kind of walked away thinking things were done. Then again, maybe the general vibe is that there's no harm in trying again, as what's the worst that can happen?

  • Author
Posted

Hey Thorn of Lies - what did you do to bring it up in a humorous situation - namely, how did you make fun of the situation...just curious.

Posted

When I dropped her off after the next date, on her porch I made huge embarrassed eyes and looked down at the floor and said "Sooooooooooooo, about what happened at this point last time.... do you believe in do-overs?" Something like that. She came up and initiated, so it worked.

Posted

Good going on asking her out again, that's the only to find out what's up, go out with her again.

 

Don't bother bringing it up AT ALL. If she lost interest or if you had bad breath she will never come out and tell you that to your face she will make up some lame excuse that will leave you even more confused. Just see her again and see what her kiss is like this time. Actions speak all. Always have mints or gum, some guys are so clueless about that and think their breath is fresh and good to go, when it's not at the end of the night.

 

Find a cozy warm place to make out this time. ;)

  • Author
Posted

Find a warm, cozy place? Do you really think it was the cold that turned her into a fish? Anyhow, we'll see what kind of response I get - I don't think I'm as confident as everyone else, although I admit, everyone here seems to be encouraging, which is certainly nice.

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