cass24 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 My husband is in the army and is currently deployed. Let me fill you in on our background We were both 19 when we found out I was pregnant. We decided to get married and raise the baby together. He joined the military 1 day after our wedding and left for 5 months. When he returned I was 7 months pregnant. One night I logged onto the computer and he hadn't logged out of his email. I noticed a ton of suspicous emails and found out he had been talking to other females about meeting up and having sex. after seeing that I looked through his phone and found a bunch of naked pictures and random girls numbers. He promised me he would never do it again after I confronted him. He said he only did it because I wasn't into having sex becuase everytime we tried the baby moved and it weirded me out. He was deployed to Iraq a month after I gave birth to our daughter. He is due home from Iraq in less than a month now and I have heard through the grapevine that he is talking to people again and I have started seeing pictures pop up on facebook and myspace of him with other females all the time. He barely calls me anymore but goes online at least once a day. I know we were young when we got married and have been seperated for a long time, but I don't know if I can stay in this relationship. He obviously doesn't respect me and I don't think it would be the right place for our daughter. But at the same time I wonder if we should try to work it out together...I know I love him and he says he loves me. And our daughter deserves both parents... What do you think I should do?
Kantor Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Sounds complicated, as many relationships are. However, i guess the old saying, "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" rings true here. Having a child in common always complicates things. You can't have a relationship without trust though =/
bluestraps Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Im not preaching, but this is where you should find out about someone before this stuff happens. The part were he was taking to other females should bother you and you need to find a way to talk to him . Communication is going to be very important. If he cant be honest or take questioning from you he may not be a good partner in life.
SaraSmile Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 You have a lot to gain for your daughter, yourself, and your family if you can make it work with him, but it might not work and you should be prepared for that. If I were you, I would definitely give it a try, but I would have an honest and serious talk with him and tell him what you will and will not accept. What is he hoping for? If he values you and his daughter, he has to make a commitment to you and not fool around with other women, online or in real life. He should be willing to be honest and open with you as you work on rebuilding the trust. I hope it works, but don't be a doormat as it sounds like he would take advantage of you if you let him.
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