ryanrabl Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Well,I was in a relationship for 2 years with the lady I was supposed to marry.Anyways,if you look at my old posts you will see why she left me.After months of the mental abuse and all the mind ****ing that my ex caused,I finally went NC after she stated that her new boyfriend didn't want me to talk to her anymore.After months of NC,she decides to want to be my best friend because I was the best bf/friend she ever had.Considering all the memories,she constantly kept telling me she has wondered if I was the "one" and if she let the "one" go.I dont believe in the "one" and never really thought much of anything she was saying..because they are just words.So i decide to be mature and considering I was over her..decide to be friends.After a while,I contacted her about twice..she contacted me not once.I was never angry because i was expecting a call from her..but I really realized that she only wanted to be my friend to ease the immense amount of guilt she had for the **** that she pulled.Recently,the thought of her in my head..makes me angry.This was the last straw..the kind of person she is to use a friendship to ease her personal guilt.Ladies and gentlemen..the point is this.Is it ok for me to be angry or upset? Trust me people,things do happen for a reason.Like most people say on LS,if he/she left you (if you were a good sig. other)..its pretty safe to say he/she didn't love you enough to burden themselves with working on your relationship..why? Because they didn't really love you or the love faded.Even people who have been married for 30 years split,its because love fades.Months ago,I was a wreck..i woke up and slept with her on my mind.I always thought I would NEVER get over her and never find someone else.If my ex ever came up to me...trust me I will never go back,but if you asked me about 3 months ago..I would have in a heartbeat.I am a really good guy,I have a great amount of self value and I am not a loser..Im not letting anybody walk on me..and you shouldn't either.This christmas,I gave myself happiness and relief after months of grief. Merry Christmas everyone.If i could give everyone on these message boards a gift of happiness or the instant ability to let go..trust meI would give it to you.However,considering this is life..you have to create it.Remember,everything is going to be ok.
McGrupp Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 great post. have a good one. im gettin there.
Author ryanrabl Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks,all i could give this christmas is the promise that everything will soon be good again.
futago Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I am sure everything will be fine. The next decade will be a better one. A lot of us here got walked out from a marriage plan. Come to think of it, i am pretty sure she suggested the marriage to test her wavering feelings, then chicken out. I am going to get my life back, merry christmas to you all, have a great one!!
trueblue72ny Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks ryanrabl, same to you! letting go, sometimes its easy, sometimes its hard. but inevitably it happens. You are perfectly within your rights to feel angry or upset. What is her point really trying to be your friend? Do you think your new girlfriend someday is going to be cool with that? prob not. I feel a similar cord in your story, in that my ex is trying to make herself my friend as well. what is the point? Some time ago I also would have jumped at the opportunity. Now I feel completely suspicious of her motives. I would not doubt for one second they are only doing it to make themselves feel better. or that they are only keeping in touch because their new fling didn’t work out and they are lonely. Who wants friends like that. Took me a lot longer than 3 months, but I can testify that the relief you feel once you start letting go feels great!!!! why would you want to go backwards from that!!! Happy holidays!
HeavenOrHell Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Good post, thanks And I think many people would feel angry and upset if they were in your position! Hope you have a good Xmas!
Author ryanrabl Posted December 25, 2009 Author Posted December 25, 2009 trueblue you are right -sometimes easy sometimes hard..all depends on the situation and the duration of relationship. We will all get over it and one day laugh at it once we have found someone new.Trust me,my ex ended it with me 8 months ago..and I finally found my misplaced brain only about a month ago..so I spent 7 months mourning ..when I could have been out,having fun..meeting new people and all. While,I wish I could get those 7 months back..I think they were very well spent because I learned soo much.It will contribute greatly and just adds another thick layer of skin.Like I said before-I'm not a loser and neither are any of you..you apparently had some features that attracted your past ex's,right? To everyone else,I raise a glass to you.Lets all get a little inebriated.
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