BlueHarvest Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 Some quotes from a friend of mine: "Making excuses–whether conscious or unconscious–may be the number-one reason for people’s poor character development, and therefore the perpetual and futile attempt to realize their ideal future - their success." "Nothing is easier than making excuses. Nothing is harder than taking responsibility." Damn, I love collecting quotes. I'm gonna steal those from ya!
skydiveaddict Posted December 25, 2009 Posted December 25, 2009 my two favorite excuses (dump lines) of all time: " i really , really do love you it's just that..." and the classic of all time: "No really, it's not you, it's me"
Awesome Username Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 That's usually my excuse if I genuinely have a lot of work. I could care less what a guy thinks of it being spineless, etc. It's not my job to be brave or brutally honest for someone I don't even want to date. Sometimes men can't take the truth well, and you can get into a scary situation if he gets crazy or angry. You just never know. And anyways, sometimes I work 14 hour days so it's not that far-fetched.
Author b52s Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 That's usually my excuse if I genuinely have a lot of work. I could care less what a guy thinks of it being spineless, etc. It's not my job to be brave or brutally honest for someone I don't even want to date. Sometimes men can't take the truth well, and you can get into a scary situation if he gets crazy or angry. You just never know. And anyways, sometimes I work 14 hour days so it's not that far-fetched. Sounds like you need to find yourself a new line of work. 14 hr days.....I'm one of those that walks out of my job at 5pm. lol The rest of the work can wait till morning.
BlueHarvest Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 That's usually my excuse if I genuinely have a lot of work. I could care less what a guy thinks of it being spineless, etc. It's not my job to be brave or brutally honest for someone I don't even want to date. Sometimes men can't take the truth well, and you can get into a scary situation if he gets crazy or angry. You just never know. And anyways, sometimes I work 14 hour days so it's not that far-fetched. But it's still an excuse, you said it yourself. And your not right it's not your job, its called common courtesy. Let me flip it around on you the other way. What if a guy said it to you, and you dealt with it, you didn't get "crazy or angry", which I might add is not the norm, most guys DO NOT get crazy or angry...the stigma of guys flipping out is not the norm. Anyways, lets flip the situation around and have you be the one dumped. I guarantee you what would happen. Your friends would say "oh he's an *******, he doesn't deserve you anyways" etc etc. But a girl does it to a guy and *BAM*....she feels like shes justified, and her girlfriends will agree with her on it.
TheBigQuestion Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 (edited) That's usually my excuse if I genuinely have a lot of work. I could care less what a guy thinks of it being spineless, etc. It's not my job to be brave or brutally honest for someone I don't even want to date. Sometimes men can't take the truth well, and you can get into a scary situation if he gets crazy or angry. You just never know. And anyways, sometimes I work 14 hour days so it's not that far-fetched. It's one thing if you hang out with a guy once or twice and disappear off the face of the planet. But if you're actually seeing him for a decent amount of time, and you both get in rather deep, emotionally, physically, or whatever, and THEN you decide that it won't work out (but never actually end up being "official" to begin with), I'd have to say that an extensive explanation is required. As I said before, doing anything else just reeks of cowardice, especially if one's means to cut a guy (or girl) loose is by being vague or misleading, as that is already a spineless act to begin with. Honesty goes a long way, and if a guy gets "crazy and angry" by you saying something to him straight up, there's a good chance his reaction would be the same (if not worse, as a lack of communication can exacerbate irrational behavior) by you trying to ignore him. I've been on the receiving end of this once earlier this year, so obviously my views on this are colored by that experience, but at the very least I have practiced what I preach since then. This whole attitude of "I don't owe anyone an explanation for what I do" is an egregious lack of accountability and only furthers people's abilities to use other people as commodities. You might use this line honestly (although I still think it sounds something like a lame excuse and nothing more), but for most people it's a cheap line to avoid accountability. Edited December 26, 2009 by TheBigQuestion
Author b52s Posted December 26, 2009 Author Posted December 26, 2009 It's not my job to be brave or brutally honest for someone I don't even want to date. Who says it's even a job? It's this attitude that reflects that YOU are PART of the problem. Inconsiderate and rude You might want to read over these enlightening and humbling quotes again and reflect: "Making excuses–whether conscious or unconscious–may be the number-one reason for people’s poor character development, and therefore the perpetual and futile attempt to realize their ideal future - their success." "Nothing is easier than making excuses. Nothing is harder than taking responsibility." Words to think about. 'Nuff said.
Awesome Username Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 It's one thing if you hang out with a guy once or twice and disappear off the face of the planet. But if you're actually seeing him for a decent amount of time, and you both get in rather deep, emotionally, physically, or whatever, and THEN you decide that it won't work out (but never actually end up being "official" to begin with), I'd have to say that an extensive explanation is required. As I said before, doing anything else just reeks of cowardice, especially if one's means to cut a guy (or girl) loose is by being vague or misleading, as that is already a spineless act to begin with. Honesty goes a long way, and if a guy gets "crazy and angry" by you saying something to him straight up, there's a good chance his reaction would be the same (if not worse, as a lack of communication can exacerbate irrational behavior) by you trying to ignore him. I've been on the receiving end of this once earlier this year, so obviously my views on this are colored by that experience, but at the very least I have practiced what I preach since then. This whole attitude of "I don't owe anyone an explanation for what I do" is an egregious lack of accountability and only furthers people's abilities to use other people as commodities. You might use this line honestly (although I still think it sounds something like a lame excuse and nothing more), but for most people it's a cheap line to avoid accountability. I certainly wouldn't say it to a guy that I've been seeing for a while. I'm talking about if I literally work too much to be able to meet up with a NEW guy any more than once a week. I've been this busy before, and it's actually not an "excuse." Most of the time, I don't even want to date around. If I already like someone, I will make time for them. It takes me a while to really warm up and trust a guy, so if I don't feel like making the emotional commitment to someone I don't know if I feel I'm too busy. It takes a lot out of me. One thing I try to stray away from is stringing a guy along. I've learned that lesson, and now I try to make it clear as soon as possible to a guy if I'm gonna be interested or not romantically. lol, all this is probably part of the reason that I date so rarely, huh?
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