RadioGuy Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Alright, I got with this girl last May, and we took it slowly and didn't really initially care for each other at first, but it grew and became obvious that both of us were into each other. The relationship started out with a huge bang, in which we were both physically and emotionally over-active, but we realized this, and she pulled back, ended it for 2 months, claiming that it "started too fast", which I agreed to. During my time of not being with her, I went about my business, had my dates, yet she still talked to me as "friends" and asked if I had been seeing anyone. I had said yes, and we ended up getting back together shortly during which the whole time she was upset that I went on and dated someone else. Why? I'm uncertain. She said it was over, done, not happening again. So date from September into the end of October, where she breaks up with me again. This time, my fault. I wasn't being the dominant one in the relationship, I came across as needy, I didn't challenge her much... completely understandable why she wouldn't want to be with me at that point. I didn't talk to her for the entire month of November, and she got quite upset about it. During that time, she was with another guy, which she tells me now she regrets. December comes along and we start talking again, growing together... this time, I'm in control, I'm dominant, and she's testing it.. I can read when she's testing me and keep passing each one. However, what I'm asking about... After all this, how can she call me and tell me that she loves me... yet every single attempt to see each other she's set up since October and a couple in November, she always flakes out of? I drilled her on it, and she said there's nothing wrong, and has even said that she sees herself living with me in a couple of years and happy... but why is she making absolutely no effort? I know, confusing. But I was wondering if anyone had any advice.
Kantor Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Alright, I got with this girl last May, and we took it slowly and didn't really initially care for each other at first, but it grew and became obvious that both of us were into each other. The relationship started out with a huge bang, in which we were both physically and emotionally over-active, but we realized this, and she pulled back, ended it for 2 months, claiming that it "started too fast", which I agreed to. During my time of not being with her, I went about my business, had my dates, yet she still talked to me as "friends" and asked if I had been seeing anyone. I had said yes, and we ended up getting back together shortly during which the whole time she was upset that I went on and dated someone else. Why? I'm uncertain. She said it was over, done, not happening again. So date from September into the end of October, where she breaks up with me again. This time, my fault. I wasn't being the dominant one in the relationship, I came across as needy, I didn't challenge her much... completely understandable why she wouldn't want to be with me at that point. I didn't talk to her for the entire month of November, and she got quite upset about it. During that time, she was with another guy, which she tells me now she regrets. December comes along and we start talking again, growing together... this time, I'm in control, I'm dominant, and she's testing it.. I can read when she's testing me and keep passing each one. However, what I'm asking about... After all this, how can she call me and tell me that she loves me... yet every single attempt to see each other she's set up since October and a couple in November, she always flakes out of? I drilled her on it, and she said there's nothing wrong, and has even said that she sees herself living with me in a couple of years and happy... but why is she making absolutely no effort? I know, confusing. But I was wondering if anyone had any advice. Sounds like a whole lot of mixed signals, geez I'm confused just buy reading your posts. Perhaps, its time to have a sit down and play the all or nothing card. Games are not fair to anyone.
funktastic Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 Just curiouse Radiohead, this girls sounds alot like someone i know LOL Where are you located, it isn Chicago is it ? I hope things works our for you, she seems to be playing with you and not sure about what she wants. I think the best things is to just drop from the face of the earth and go into NC. If she really cares about you and wants to have anything to do with you, she will contact you buddy. And if she does not, then she was not worth it to begin with, i would never want to be in a relationship where its alway me who makes all the effort. It takes two people to make a relationship, right now you are the only one trying. Merry Christmas and Happy new year to you Funkstastic
nobmagnet Posted December 26, 2009 Posted December 26, 2009 mutual respect my love. It doesnt seem to be there. Its the foundation of a good relationship. If you dont feel respected for everything then dont persue it. Find somebody to share a happy non complicated relationship with. Just my thoughts good luck radiohead. xx
Author RadioGuy Posted December 27, 2009 Author Posted December 27, 2009 Thanks to all of you... and no, I'm in NYC... not Chicago. haha. I'm sorry to hear that there's someone else out there going through the same thing I am. We spoke this evening, and she told me that she honestly loves me, but "right now just isn't our time." Whatever that's supposed to mean? Perhaps I'm too much of an idealist, but the way I see love is having the ability to move mountains to be with the person. Not push them away for 'later'. I've accused her of treating me as her safety net before, which she blatantly denies. So... I'm going to go into NC. If she comes to me, that's fine and I'll speak with her. Otherwise, I'm thinking it's best not to be constantly making an effort where one isn't made in return.
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