TheWatcher Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 No...this isn't another thread from a self-proclaimed nice guy assigning blame to women & complaining about how he can't get a date and so on... It about an exchange between myself and a female co-worker that took place a couple of months ago.This is exactly how things went: Her:Good morning...so & so....how are you ? Me:Good morning.Okay thanks & yourself ? Her: *with a little kind of disapproving laugh* you're too nice ! It has puzzled me ever since what she could have meant by "too nice". Do any of you have a clue? Yes, I should have asked her what she meant but it didn't really offended me & I barely paid any attention to it when it actually took place. Have any of you (men & women) ever been told that you're too nice ?
betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 No...this isn't another thread from a self-proclaimed nice guy assigning blame to women & complaining about how he can't get a date and so on... It about an exchange between myself and a female co-worker that took place a couple of months ago.This is exactly how things went: Her:Good morning...so & so....how are you ? Me:Good morning.Okay thanks & yourself ? Her: *with a little kind of disapproving laugh* you're too nice ! It has puzzled me ever since what she could have meant by "too nice". Do any of you have a clue? Yes, I should have asked her what she meant but it didn't really offended me & I barely paid any attention to it when it actually took place. Have any of you (men & women) ever been told that you're too nice ? It means she doesn't respect you as a man and would rather be with an ex con because he's more exciting and challenging than you are. A woman calling you "nice" is like calling you worthless as a man. The best way you could have responded, though not with a coworker, would be tell her to screw off after she says something like that. Because it's out of disrepect she said it to you. Return the favor, it might even turn her on.
2sure Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 By thanking her and replying instead of just walking away saying "Howyadoin" you displayed a degree of courtesy and politeness she apparently is unfamiliar with, having perhaps been raised by wolves.
Awesome Username Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I certainly have. I have a Southern way about me, and that usually entails that your default mode is "sweet." I've had to change it up and try to be a little less cheery because sometimes I can come off as flirtatious, even though it's just how I am. Sometimes guys get intimidated by it, too. I've had more than one man say to me, "You're too nice. I bet you're all kinds of crazy under that nice!" Just yesterday I walked into a coffee shop all smiley because I like coffee, and a guy sitting at the table said, "Come on, NOBODY is THAT happy!" I like making people coffee and cookies and stuff at work. A lot of them simply cannot believe that I'm not being fake or manipulative. I'll usually cuss and/or say something gross or sarcastic and the niceness spell is broken. It happens all the time. It's too bad that sometimes I seem like a doormat when I'm completely not in my head (or in Louisana). "Why are you being so nice to me?" "Um...is there a reason not to?" lol I think the fact that she called you out on being polite is insane. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE stay sweet. We need more genuinely polite, sweet guys in the world.
Awesome Username Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 By thanking her and replying instead of just walking away saying "Howyadoin" you displayed a degree of courtesy and politeness she apparently is unfamiliar with, having perhaps been raised by wolves. Raised by wolves is right!
Crow9726 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I've been told the same thing before...that I'm too nice. So...even though I don't qualify as a bad boy or a doormat...and am indeed a nice guy...I took that as a compliment. I should also state that I'm 52...have had long and wonderful relationships before...have had my heart broken...am currently single...have had my fair share of encounters that weren't relationship fueled...and I think I am fairly well adjusted. I was raised right...have manners...look people in the eye when I talk to them...hold doors and pull out chairs...believe in chivalry and romance...all the things that seem to have faded away in recent times. Maybe I'm just a remnant from a bygone age...but I wouldn't have it any other way.
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Me:Good morning.Okay thanks & yourself ?It's possible that if you respond with this stock phrase on a regular basis, that she's looking for a more interesting response.
betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 It's possible that if you respond with this stock phrase on a regular basis, that she's looking for a more interesting response. nice = boring too nice = extremely boring Women need drama.
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 nice = boring too nice = extremely boring Women need drama.Straight up betamanlet, you're the biggest drama queen LS has ever had the displeasure to have as a member and also, unbelievably repetitively boring.
cupidotheblogger Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 A great deal of success and power with women has nothing to do with how you act and feel about them, but a lot to do with how you act and feel about yourself. What we're really talking about here is SELF-RESPECT. Here's a hint for gaining some self-respect when it comes to women: STOP NEEDING THEM SO MUCH! A good way to do that is going out and finding a hobby that you can really enjoy. Something that gets you AWAY from women. Hope this Helps.
DustySaltus Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Straight up betamanlet, you're the biggest drama queen LS has ever had the displeasure to have as a member and also, unbelievably repetitively boring. Next time don't hold back so much....
betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Straight up betamanlet, you're the biggest drama queen LS has ever had the displeasure to have as a member and also, unbelievably repetitively boring. At least my posts constitute something more than ad hominem attacks on people. Are you contributing anything other than insults?
meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 At least my posts constitute something more than ad hominem attacks on people. Are you contributing anything other than insults? Booyah!
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Straight up betamanlet, you're the biggest drama queen LS has ever had the displeasure to have as a member and also, unbelievably repetitively boring. why? cause he's telling the truth? "nice guy" = beta male = difficulty attracting women
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 At least my posts constitute something more than ad hominem attacks on people. Are you contributing anything other than insults? You believe that nice guys finish last and that arseholes win the day. You're of the latter description, since you're not a nice guy by a long shot, so why aren't you getting laid?You believe that women need drama as part of the attraction factor, and yet, as LS's biggest historical drama queen, still aren't getting laid. For that matter, your drama is deathly boring.These two are key to why you're not getting laid. For certain, it has nothing to do with you being a nice guy.
meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Next time you see that co-worker, tell her that her hair color looks great, and that you can hardly tell it's not natural. Then, the next time you see her, tell her that her nails look good, then ask her if she does them herself. Finally, three times a charm, the time you see her after that, ask her if she had corrective surgery for her over/underbite, because you can barely tell she has one at all. She won't make random jabberjaw about you or your character traits going forward. It's just plain rude to make such analytical comments to people with whom you are not thoroughly well acquainted. Reminds me of that twerp in "Office Space," "Someone's got a case of the Mondays!" Sure, it's ok to pay compliments, or to call someone out on an obviously obnoxious mood, that's not what I'm talking about.
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 why? cause he's telling the truth? "nice guy" = beta male = difficulty attracting womenSuch a good little sock puppet, you are.
meerkat stew Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Such a good little sock puppet, you are. How are the F^ckfest ticket sales coming along? Break into double digits yet?
Strych9 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I don't think it's a question of being "too nice" or being a man who is nice in nature, it's how it comes off in the beginning, you don't want to be too nice too soon, right? You want women to earn that, not by being an ******* or a nice guy, it's just moderation.
carhill Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Have any of you (men & women) ever been told that you're too nice ? 'you really care about people' Same thing And with that, my last response to any newbie thread with 'nice' in it
Author TheWatcher Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 It's possible that if you respond with this stock phrase on a regular basis, that she's looking for a more interesting response. I'm just a bit confused as to why that would elicit a response like "You're too nice" accompanied with a disapproving laugh;even if it were a stock reply.In your opinion do you find that condescending in any way ? There have been times when I have offered a more interesting response when asked the same thing by the same woman.Again,I should have asked her myself but why would someone respond to "Good Morning.Okay thanks & yourself" in such a manner.
threebyfate Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I'm just a bit confused as to why that would elicit a response like "You're too nice" accompanied with a disapproving laugh;even if it were a stock reply.In your opinion do you find that condescending in any way ? There have been times when I have offered a more interesting response when asked the same thing by the same woman.Again,I should have asked her myself but why would someone respond to "Good Morning.Okay thanks & yourself" in such a manner.You might be looking too deeply into the response. For example, if you're always using some form of chipper, stock phrase to respond, she might be looking for something different, like "I'm having a crappy day, x-supervisor pissed me off" or "x-client [insert complaint]", more natural conversation so she doesn't have to carry the conversation. We can only guess since we don't know either one of you, or her facial expression or her tone of voice. It's possible it's her way to tease you, getting some banter going. Who knows.
kizik Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Straight up betamanlet, you're the biggest drama queen LS has ever had the displeasure to have as a member and also, unbelievably repetitively boring. Just to be fair (tbf): you're the most self-righteous, arrogant know-it-all poster LS has had the "pleasure" of hosting, and also, you got kicked off, and when you reinstated your account, you made sure everyone knew it was the same You, so you wouldn't lose your minions. Plus you think being born into an attractive face, having a husband and being pregnant makes you better than others. At the end of the day, though, you are still up your own Arse.
threebyfate Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Just to be fair (tbf): you're the most self-righteous, arrogant know-it-all poster LS has had the "pleasure" of hosting, and also, you got kicked off, and when you reinstated your account, you made sure everyone knew it was the same You, so you wouldn't lose your minions. Plus you think being born into an attractive face, having a husband and being pregnant makes you better than others. At the end of the day, though, you are still up your own Arse. Kizik, you made it all up. Nice try but no go. I wasn't banned.
Trialbyfire Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 You might be looking too deeply into the response. For example, if you're always using some form of chipper, stock phrase to respond, she might be looking for something different, like "I'm having a crappy day, x-supervisor pissed me off" or "x-client [insert complaint]", more natural conversation so she doesn't have to carry the conversation. We can only guess since we don't know either one of you, or her facial expression or her tone of voice. It's possible it's her way to tease you, getting some banter going. Who knows.To add one more thing to the list of possibilities, banter can be fun, as long as the quips aren't cruel.
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