espec10001 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Same difference! I don't think so. By having a passion outside of women, you can accomplish great things. If you don't have to take time to focus on a woman, you can focus on becoming GREAT at something, which is a quality few people can say they have. I cherish the lessons my earlier relationships with females taught me.
donnamaybe Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I would say it's the social skills required to create sexual tension and interest in the opposite sex. Knowing what to do to create an interest, and developing the interest, by playing with emotions, to develop said interest. Just basically, whatever a guy does who knocks your socks off vs. the server room nerd who doesn't know how to. Okay. IMO, that is called "personality." Not "game." If you feel you don't have the personality to catch a woman's interest, then you should hone your skills in various social settings WITHOUT the intent of snagging a woman. If you aren't so focused on snagging a woman, perhaps your personality will be better able to naturally develop.
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I don't think so. By having a passion outside of women, you can accomplish great things. If you don't have to take time to focus on a woman, you can focus on becoming GREAT at something, which is a quality few people can say they have. I cherish the lessons my earlier relationships with females taught me. I think that person's point was just to insult you, me, and others that don't get laid.
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 That's the point, I've been myself for 34 years and where has it gotten me? The dating experience of a 12 year old? Most people have been married and divorced at my age. Being myself has gotten me a 5 month relationship once in my entire life. Being myself is NOT helping me get women. Dude: you don't have to stay a beta. you can morph into into a world class jerk, a-hole alpha like i'm currently doing. it's not that hard & i'm already seeing positive results
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Dude: you don't have to stay a beta. you can morph into into a world class jerk, a-hole alpha like i'm currently doing. it's not that hard & i'm already seeing positive results But I don't want the kind of woman that would get me, assuming I could even do it.
espec10001 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 You must not compare yourself to others. I just find it difficult to be comfortable with this in a hypersexual society, where everything is sexualized, where 13 year olds have sex, yet i cannot get laid to save my life. Believe me, I was worse when I lived next to neighbors that you could hear having sex. i felt like utter crap. Now I'm not in that situation and am better. But being reminded of what you're missing out on, really sucks. Please. Have you ever taken notice how shallow society really is? You know what happens to 13 year old girls that have sex? They get pregnant or STDs. **** man, I lived with 2 dudes who were bringing home different chicks every night and I could hear them banging, but all I did was pick up my guitar and play, music is like a pervasive feminine aspect in my life. Music don't complain, music don't change. Hell, music is always there when I need it, it always makes me feel better. Music you can't get pregnant or catch STDs. Music you don't have to buy a fat expensive ring to say you are committed. Music just becomes more and more rewarding the more you do it, which is the OPPOSITE of what happens with women, at least in my experience.
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I don't think so. By having a passion outside of women, you can accomplish great things. If you don't have to take time to focus on a woman, you can focus on becoming GREAT at something, which is a quality few people can say they have. I cherish the lessons my earlier relationships with females taught me.Actually, you can do both with the right kind of partner and relationship but in betamanlet's case, he desperately needs to do something, anything, to improve himself. I don't agree with prostitution but it's legal outside Vegas, in Nevada. I think he should go to Vegas for a vacation since he likes to travel and get laid for 48 hours straight. He'll feel much better after that and might possibly come back and be able to focus on something besides his testicles.
espec10001 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Actually, you can do both with the right kind of partner and relationship but in betamanlet's case, he desperately needs to do something, anything, to improve himself. I don't agree with prostitution but it's legal outside Vegas, in Nevada. I think he should go to Vegas for a vacation since he likes to travel and get laid for 48 hours straight. He'll feel much better after that and might possibly come back and be able to focus on something besides his testicles. Well of course you can do it with a partner. But for some people like myself I do not want to go through the drama and craziness associated with my past relationships. I'm perfectly fine waiting for the right opportunity to get the girl that I want. And betaman, stop considering yourself to be a beta this beta that. There is no such thing. The only limit is yourself and the labels you place upon yourself. If you say to yourself that you are an inferior man, then you are an inferior man. If you say to yourself "I am a great man I just have not met the right woman yet", you'll feel much more secure. It won't matter what other people think especially women because you find the confidence IN YOURSELF, NOT A WOMAN!!!!
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Well of course you can do it with a partner. But for some people like myself I do not want to go through the drama and craziness associated with my past relationships. I'm perfectly fine waiting for the right opportunity to get the girl that I want. And betaman, stop considering yourself to be a beta this beta that. There is no such thing. The only limit is yourself and the labels you place upon yourself. If you say to yourself that you are an inferior man, then you are an inferior man. If you say to yourself "I am a great man I just have not met the right woman yet", you'll feel much more secure. It won't matter what other people think especially women because you find the confidence IN YOURSELF, NOT A WOMAN!!!! Thanks man.
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 But I don't want the kind of woman that would get me, assuming I could even do it. thats my whole point man. become an alpha and you can have almost any woman you want. the alpha male attracts vitually all types of females. & believe me you could do it
donnamaybe Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Well of course you can do it with a partner. But for some people like myself I do not want to go through the drama and craziness associated with my past relationships. I'm perfectly fine waiting for the right opportunity to get the girl that I want. And betaman, stop considering yourself to be a beta this beta that. There is no such thing. The only limit is yourself and the labels you place upon yourself. If you say to yourself that you are an inferior man, then you are an inferior man. If you say to yourself "I am a great man I just have not met the right woman yet", you'll feel much more secure. It won't matter what other people think especially women because you find the confidence IN YOURSELF, NOT A WOMAN!!!! I made a separate thread regarding this ENTIRE WAY OF THINKING! Of course the OP thought it was all hogwash. YOU, though, he thanks. I gotta wonder why. Is it, perhaps, because I'm a woman?
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I made a separate thread regarding this ENTIRE WAY OF THINKING! Of course the OP thought it was all hogwash. YOU, though, he thanks. I gotta wonder why. Is it, perhaps, because I'm a woman? Maybe I can relate better to someone who hasn't had sex in 4 years than to someone who can get laid whenever they want? It just seems more credible coming from him, as he is experiencing it, what I'm living..
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 found this in another chat room: By asserting yourself as the leader - someone to be respected, not feared - you gain people's respect. As I said, females don't want to have to adopt male leadership themselves; they just want to be around someone who's not afraid to be a stand-up, ] kind of man. But let me be clear: women don't want an insecure guy who feels he has to act macho and sexist to get his buddies' approval, like so many jocks, but a guy who naturally acts confident, and expects people to show him respect. That's what you're aiming for, and that's what women who are worth your time want. Conversely, by being the "follower" instead of the "followed," people, especially girls, will treat you as what you present: someone who's not a leader, someone who's NOT confident, tough, and full of power; in short, someone who's not full of value. You get what you give, so it's up to you to GIVE a lot! When a girl, particularly one you've just met at a bar or any social venue, treats you with disrespect, it's up to you, as the "alpha male," to ignore her. Shut her out, move on, and she'll eventually come back to you the same way a dog would: with her tail between her legs, apologetic, and hungry for your respect. But don't address her until you're sure you have her respect, otherwise you're allowing her to "move up the pack," which, as with dogs, will only create future problems. This actually goes to show why guys who ignore girls, get more than those who dote on them and act needy
Madelf Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 This reminds me of the old saying, "Women use Sex to get Love, and Men use Love to get Sex". I wonder how "betas" swoop women off their feet to get to the sex part?
Vertex Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 And we also know if I were a female, and wrote a thread saying my boyfriend wasn't good enough for me, and I cheated on him, I would get all sorts of support, pats on the back, telling me I have done nothing wrong. Instead, I complain about lack of sex, and suddenly I'm a a worthless human being, below serial killers on death row and I deserve everything I get in life.. Another double standard. For one this... this simply isn't true. Go look at the forums for cheating here. Most cheaters don't exactly get pats on the back. Everyone, to some extent on this forum, gets responses/support, but that doesn't mean we agree or sympathize with certain people for their actions. You assume women would rather want killers? That's simply preposterous. What kind of women are you after!? Your issue here is deeper than simply "not getting enough/any sex," but it is clearly your attitude and mindset. Consider, logically, the type of clashing you're experiencing in this thread. You're going to tell me that the cause of this has absolutely nothing to do with why you may be having problems in your life? You can't simply "say" you're a "genuinely nice guy" because you don't go out of your way to harm people or because you fit the stereotype of "that guy who is kind but just has no luck with women." You clearly have an additional issue or axe to grind that kicks you out of that category. People who go out of their way to put themselves down or piss on everyone's parades come across as extremely insecure and lacking in confidence -- it's not sexy to women at all. Women don't want a guy who complains about everything. It's stressful to listen to, impossible to argue with, and hell to live through. "Being yourself" doesn't mean you have to act this way. There's an underlying personality that can be confident in stronger traits. Stop falling victim to confirmation bias and focus on the good aspects to things from here on out. So what if you're in your 30's with crappy luck? You might be able to have an amazing change in attitude that gives you great luck for the next 30 to 40 to 50 years, and that's something not a lot of people can say they have. So not all is lost. You're envious that people have married/divorced by your age? Note "divorced." You think not getting any sex is bad? Imagine what hell people go through in divorce! Not everyone is better off than you. Before you start concocting a retort in your head to disagree with me, consider that that is the very source of your issue. What I'm saying here is totally correct, and the fact that you want to resort to your same old type of logic is exactly why nothing changes in your favor. You don't have to change who you are -- just leverage your pros and try to limit the influence of the cons. In doing so, you'll naturally become a better, stronger, more assertive person. It's easy to be bitter against the world if nothing ever goes your way, but these boards ARE good for getting other viewpoints. It all starts with you, and I'd like for you to try something. Don't reply to this post with your disagreements -- focus on what you agree with and what you think is most applicable to you.
alphamale Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Except other betas... The closest analogy I can give to what it's like, is like being a jew on christmas, but 365 days a year. This is what life is like for betas. You never had a girlfriend in high school, you never want to homecoming or prom, you graduate college a virgin, if you go to grad school, you graduate that a virgin. You realize that there are 14 years in high school that have way more sex than you ever will. When you reach your 30s, you've never even had a relationship, while everyone else you know is probably even divorced by now. If women knew about your lack of experience, you would never be considered, hence you have to hide it, should you even get a chance. You walk outside, and constantly see couples, and realize, it's unlikely that will ever happen to you. boy that sort of sucks
delnoire Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 betamale, were you really still a virgin after you finished with graduate school? If you were, thats astounding. Everyone gets laid at least once by then. Even nuns.
skydiveaddict Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I wonder how "betas" swoop women off their feet to get to the sex part? theydont they rarely reach the "sex" part of the game
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 betamale, were you really still a virgin after you finished with graduate school? If you were, thats astounding. Everyone gets laid at least once by then. Even nuns. yes. Until I was 27.. That's why I'm saying you people cannot possibly contemplate what it's like being me! Everyone doesn't include me, hence why I'm so pissed off about it. People take for granted what they have, and people like me have completely missed out on it, and then get yelled at and told they are whiners, because you cannot possibly comprehend what it's like to be like me.
donnamaybe Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Maybe I can relate better to someone who hasn't had sex in 4 years than to someone who can get laid whenever they want? It just seems more credible coming from him, as he is experiencing it, what I'm living.. If someone is trying to HELP YOU... ACCEPT IT! It doesn't matter who it comes from. I'm beginning to see what your problem really is. You hate women. We can tell, even if you don't say it out loud. THAT is why women don't want you around.
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 If someone is trying to HELP YOU... ACCEPT IT! It doesn't matter who it comes from. I'm beginning to see what your problem really is. You hate women. We can tell, even if you don't say it out loud. THAT is why women don't want you around. Assume what you say is true, which it isn't. How come there are women that stick with guys who beat them (obviously they hate them) yet I can't get a date to save my life? There are serial killers who targetted ONLY women, and yet they still would get love letters from women saying they "understood" them..
Vertex Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 yes. Until I was 27.. That's why I'm saying you people cannot possibly contemplate what it's like being me! Everyone doesn't include me, hence why I'm so pissed off about it. People take for granted what they have, and people like me have completely missed out on it, and then get yelled at and told they are whiners, because you cannot possibly comprehend what it's like to be like me. So what are you after? Sympathy? Do you want girls to honestly say "Ah that really sucks... damn that's sexy though, let me corrupt you"? I mean, while a few women might actually be into that sort of notion, that's not how you're coming across. You're coming across as a whiner, and whining is extremely unattractive. It sends a signal that something must be wrong with you, and people will steer clear. There are people, by the way, who go into their 30's waiting until they get married before having sex -- even if they have sexual urges. So it's not like you're the only one in the "not getting laid for years" pool. So people may take getting laid for granted. So you're out of the loop. So what? What's done is done. Logically, it's a sunk cost. Stop being bitter about your life so far and focus on making this day forward better. Drop the "poor me" attitude and your chances for success will go up quite a bit off that alone.
Vertex Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Assume what you say is true, which it isn't. How come there are women that stick with guys who beat them (obviously they hate them) yet I can't get a date to save my life? There are serial killers who targetted ONLY women, and yet they still would get love letters from women saying they "understood" them.. Alright, pick your poison: 1. You enjoy committing logical fallacy of confirmation bias. or 2. You have some deepseated hatred for women. One (or both) of these statements is true. Which one is it?
threebyfate Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I'd be willing to put money down that a Cluster B disorder is involved. betamanlet, have you ever had therapy with a psychiatrist?
carhill Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 OP, and remember I've got you beat in the virginity department, what do you really want? I'm reading bantering back and forth here about 'getting laid' and you know that's not what you really want. What is it? You have to say it and focus on it in order to do the work. In the spirit of Christmas, I'll help. I think you want to share the gifts of who you are in a healthy and loving relationship with a valued companion. The dearth of a place for that energy is enormously saddening and frustrating for you. Do you have family in Israel? If you do, I would suggest going home to visit them. Sometimes, returning to one's cultural roots can be a re-birth of sorts. It also gives one time for reflection. I did all those things, had all the relationships, got married, and still that dearth remains. IMO, understanding and accepting life for what it is, all of it, is key to inner peace. Peace on earth and good will to men
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