CCNowWhat Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 So I get a text last night from xMM friend, checking in to see how I am holding up. I told him I was better than I had been and thanked him for asking. I did tell him that I felt like a big part of my life just got taken away and I just have to deal with it. He said he understands and seemed concerned. I did not ask him anything about xMM- NOTHING. Truth be told at this point I don't care about his struggles. F him. I can't wait until this year is over because next year is a new beginning for me. I am already moving on. I actually started talking to this really cute & funny guy. I don't want it to be a rebound but whatever as long as it gets me over xMM that's all I am worried about. I am doing pretty good considering the past month I have had. All in time, things get better! I just hope that xMM does not come back into my life. I was/am concerned about that. I have a feeling he will but oh well sorry I will have moved on.
jwi71 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I just hope that xMM does not come back into my life. I was/am concerned about that. I have a feeling he will but oh well sorry I will have moved on. If you TRULY wanted it to be over it would...as of yesterday. If he "comes back into your life" it because you WANT him back in your life. Now go NC...block his numbers, emails, chats and anything else...BE done with him. You can't half jump. All you do is prolong the agony...it accomplishes NOTHING good for YOU.
Author CCNowWhat Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 If you TRULY wanted it to be over it would...as of yesterday. If he "comes back into your life" it because you WANT him back in your life. Now go NC...block his numbers, emails, chats and anything else...BE done with him. You can't half jump. All you do is prolong the agony...it accomplishes NOTHING good for YOU. I have not talked to him since a few weeks ago, I am not even counting the amount of days. I have not & will never contact him again. It was his friend that contacted me yesterday. I didn't know he was going to. I told him I was fine and left it at that. Ok I don't want him back in my life. They guy that I knew and loved doesn't exist anymore and the old me doesn't exist anymore either.
jwi71 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Ah...you said "xMM friend" and I thought you were keeping the xMM as a friend...sorry for my misunderstanding. I would tell the xMM friend the same though...
Hazyhead Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Ah - the old 'sending your friend to fish for info'. Just like high school and a very cowardly way of seeing what you think of MM now. It sounds to me like he will try to weasel his way in again - don't open yourself to that hurt. If he was going to be responsible and trustworthy he wouldn't have sent his friend. You did well to not ask anything about him. I think if he phones again, you should tell him you're fine and you've gotta go. Keep it brief. Keep strong. New year - new possibilities :-)
Author CCNowWhat Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Ah...you said "xMM friend" and I thought you were keeping the xMM as a friend...sorry for my misunderstanding. I would tell the xMM friend the same though... If by chance his friend does tell him. I don't want him to know any of my business, it is none of xMM's concern. Listen I am not going to say I am not still struggling with all this but I refuse to let this define the rest of my life. I will probably always love him to a certain degree and may never have a connection with any other guy like I had with him but I will survive this and come out better in the end without him. Let him go on living a lie to himself, have a good one!!
Hazyhead Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I can completely understand you when you say you'll always love him to a certain extent - and that thought is a positive one right now because you're remembering the goodness in the relationship, and you should. That's the part you should carry with you. I can also understand you thinking you'll never have that connection with someone again, because right now I feel that too. But, we might - and I'm going to hang on to that possibility. It's kind of exciting that you may well have that ahead of you CC. I'm glad you're looking forwards.
Author CCNowWhat Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Ah - the old 'sending your friend to fish for info'. Just like high school and a very cowardly way of seeing what you think of MM now. It sounds to me like he will try to weasel his way in again - don't open yourself to that hurt. If he was going to be responsible and trustworthy he wouldn't have sent his friend. You did well to not ask anything about him. I think if he phones again, you should tell him you're fine and you've gotta go. Keep it brief. Keep strong. New year - new possibilities :-) I'm not so sure he sent his friend to fish for me. I just think his friend did it out of sincere concern. But I really don't know that for a fact nor do I care. I was like there is NO WAY I am asking about him. Yes NEW YEAR!! I can't wait!!
Author CCNowWhat Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I can completely understand you when you say you'll always love him to a certain extent - and that thought is a positive one right now because you're remembering the goodness in the relationship, and you should. That's the part you should carry with you. I can also understand you thinking you'll never have that connection with someone again, because right now I feel that too. But, we might - and I'm going to hang on to that possibility. It's kind of exciting that you may well have that ahead of you CC. I'm glad you're looking forwards. Yeh it sucks thinking that we won't have that connection again but I have been with enough guys to know that he was the real thing and I know he feels the same about me. I am going to hold onto that possibility too because what else can I do? I don't go backwards, I never have. It is just difficult because we gave so much to each other and then poof its gone. I wish you well and I hope that we all can get through this.
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