Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Well, that explains that. Given that people can't really change who they are, you must be feeling pretty screwed. What are you going to do about it? If you say you're going to "become a dastardly alpha", just let me tell you forget it. It's not possible. Oh no, even if I could change who I am, I wouldn't. I will not be someone who I am not just to get women. It's just harder accepting that I will be celibate for the rest of my life.. That's my problem.
Hot Carl Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Oh no, even if I could change who I am, I wouldn't. I will not be someone who I am not just to get women. It's just harder accepting that I will be celibate for the rest of my life.. That's my problem. Sounds like you have a resolution then. Are you going to continue posting about it?
Author betamanlet Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Sounds like you have a resolution then. Are you going to continue posting about it? We live in a hypersexualized society. Sex is everywhere. I see couples everywhere, I see advertisements for condoms, birth control. They use sex to sell everything, and I don't get to participate at all. It's not so easy just to say "okay, i can be completely fine with being celibate" given the only reason we even exist is to have sex. Sorry, but not hobby is going to compensate for the lack of the biological reason we actually even are here.
Hot Carl Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 We live in a hypersexualized society. Sex is everywhere. I see couples everywhere, I see advertisements for condoms, birth control. They use sex to sell everything, and I don't get to participate at all. It's not so easy just to say "okay, i can be completely fine with being celibate" given the only reason we even exist is to have sex. Sorry, but not hobby is going to compensate for the lack of the biological reason we actually even are here. So it's your mission to change this about society via Loveshack? I mean, you're in a tiny minority of people who are totally hopeless. Excluding those who have certain physical or severe mental handicaps, you may be completely unique. What are your posts meant to accomplish? Based on your resignation to be celibate, there isn't a whole lot more to discuss is there?
Madelf Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) It does seem pointless to make all these arguments about why society is wrong. The generalization that all people (women in this case, if that is your ultimate mate) are as you describe appears shortsighted. Ever hear of the proverbial "needle in the haystack"? Edited December 23, 2009 by Madelf Typo
FilthMerchant Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Betamanlet when are you going to realise that women don't tell the truth about their sex lives - anywhere, not to their friends, not on the internet, not to their boyfriends, not even anonymously on surveys
Strych9 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I could see men lying on sex surveys just as easily, Men = more than the actual number Women = less than the actual number lol
meerkat stew Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Betamanlet when are you going to realise that women don't tell the truth about their sex lives - anywhere, not to their friends, not on the internet, not to their boyfriends, not even anonymously on surveys Niccolo speaks the truth, and there is also lots of truth in your subtextual assertion that beta males never have FWBs. And other posters are correct in that men can fall in love with their FWBs just as easily as women can. FWBs came from a Alanis Morrissette song I think, and is basically at the pinnacle of female rationalization in our culture about sexual habits. Many women feel guilty about their casual sexual habits. Men don't. The bogus concept FWBs sugar coats promiscuity, because, hey, you can call someone you just met a "friend." Hell, -everyone- is my friend, so I can f-ck anyone and avoid all personal and social accountability. Hopefully, in time, women who like to have lots of casual sex will just own it as the gluttons they are. After all, women can have sex anytime they want, and consuming all of anything you can get when you have an unlimited supply is gluttony. Just own it and stop hiding behind bogus concepts like FWB. The rational among us see right through it anyway.
paddington bear Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Watched a documentary a few years ago about sperm fighting and killing each other as they raced to implant the egg - the thing was, they were sperm from two different men trying to destroy one another...which according to the scientists meant that evolution-wise, for this behaviour to evolve meant that our women ancestors must have been having sex with many men, otherwise there would be no need for the little spermatozoa to develop the urge to violently take out his rival's swimmers.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Something tells me the answers to this will speak VOLUMES about who women find sexually appealing, and it's not going ot be nice guys, that's for sure. So I can say with absolute clarity, I have NEVER had a FWB arrangement, the few sexual experiences I have have been from allegedly committed relationships. you can be a nice guy without being a wuss. You can be a nice guy and be an alpha. You can be a nice guy and have friends with benefits. I'm a nice guy. But I dont let anyone walk all over me, I run the show, i'm usually super confident and take charge. This whole alpha/beta - bad boy/nice guy ***** is soooo overblown. Give it a rest dude.
Madelf Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I see, so women are bad, huh? Sadly, for women to be promiscuous, it takes a <insert the gender of choice here>. Also, it might be educational to do a search on "rape" and see what guys do when they get in a knot about sex.
Strych9 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Hopefully, in time, women who like to have lots of casual sex will just own it as the gluttons they are. After all, women can have sex anytime they want, and consuming all of anything you can get when you have an unlimited supply is gluttony. Just own it and stop hiding behind bogus concepts like FWB. The rational among us see right through it anyway. Very true. This so called double standard of men who have lots of casual sex, being studs, women who have lots of casual sex, being sluts, is more often than not created by ourselves.
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I see, so women are bad, huh? Sadly, for women to be promiscuous, it takes a <insert the gender of choice here>. Also, it might be educational to do a search on "rape" and see what guys do when they get in a knot about sex. woah woah woah...are you saying guys rape because they want sex? or am i misreading you?
Madelf Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 woah woah woah...are you saying guys rape because they want sex? or am i misreading you? Yes, the bad ones.
alphamale Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 So I can say with absolute clarity, I have NEVER had a FWB arrangement, the few sexual experiences I have have been from allegedly committed relationships. i've had a few FWBs but a lot more one-nighters....where i lack is very long-term relationships mainly cause i can't stay with one woman for any length of time
Buckeye Candy Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 I have had a few FWBs over the years. Mostly when I was between the ages of 23 and 28. I'm not tremendously social, not a bar-fly who ever went far out of my way to meet these FWBs, but I have a pleasant personallity and once women started talking to me they didn't want to stop. How is this possible? After years of being a painfully shy kid, a kid who wouldn't raise my hand in class, sat alone, etc. I decided to develop some conversational skills and learn how to make engaging small talk. I began chatting with every customer at my college retail job without regard to age or sex. I began chatting with people in elevators, in grocery aisles. I practiced breaking the ice in various situations over and over again until I mastered the ability to start and hold a conversation with any person of any background of any age. When you gain this skill and have confidence talking to people, the people you start conversations with sense it, they smile, they converse back. They think well of you and enjoy talking with you. I don't go out all of the time, I don't have many friends and I'm still a bit of a loner but I am glad to have taught myself these skills. It took effort and trial and error but I am very good at leading a conversation now and it has helped me many times over throughout life. I wasn't born this way. I used to be an insecure child until I decided to grow.
Author betamanlet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 I have had a few FWBs over the years. Mostly when I was between the ages of 23 and 28. I'm not tremendously social, not a bar-fly who ever went far out of my way to meet these FWBs, but I have a pleasant personallity and once women started talking to me they didn't want to stop. How is this possible? After years of being a painfully shy kid, a kid who wouldn't raise my hand in class, sat alone, etc. I decided to develop some conversational skills and learn how to make engaging small talk. I began chatting with every customer at my college retail job without regard to age or sex. I began chatting with people in elevators, in grocery aisles. I practiced breaking the ice in various situations over and over again until I mastered the ability to start and hold a conversation with any person of any background of any age. When you gain this skill and have confidence talking to people, the people you start conversations with sense it, they smile, they converse back. They think well of you and enjoy talking with you. I don't go out all of the time, I don't have many friends and I'm still a bit of a loner but I am glad to have taught myself these skills. It took effort and trial and error but I am very good at leading a conversation now and it has helped me many times over throughout life. I wasn't born this way. I used to be an insecure child until I decided to grow. From your moniker, you apparently are in Ohio. There is night and day difference between east coast people and midwesterners... Where I live, neighbors don't speak. If I say hello to them, theyw ill ignore me and walk right by. Where I grew up, the only time my neighbor ever spoke to me was to threaten me.. When women are out in public here, they are with others, are talking on a cell phone, or listening to their ipods. So you don't even have an opportunity to approach, even if you had the courage to. There have been some girls I probably would have sta rted talking to but for the ear buds in her ears. YOu literally would have to assault them to talk to them. I'm not willing to do that.
Mary3 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 i've had a few FWBs but a lot more one-nighters....where i lack is very long-term relationships mainly cause i can't stay with one woman for any length of time Alpha , You aren't a * 5 minute man * are you ?
Author betamanlet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 This is how I would define nice guy. If I were rich, say if I won the lottery, I would go to medical school, and start up my own clinic providing free medical care for people of low income. I wouldn't spend my time trying to become richer. I would live still in an apartment. Drive a Honda. That sort of thing. We live in a world where so many people are totally self absorbed. While I might think about my predicament a lot, I want my life to be devoted to helping other people, and not for anything in return. When you look at p oliticians, they might "help" but that's in exchange for a vote. Tzedakah should in ideal circumstances be anonymous.
Buckeye Candy Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 From your moniker, you apparently are in Ohio. There is night and day difference between east coast people and midwesterners... Where I live, neighbors don't speak. If I say hello to them, theyw ill ignore me and walk right by. Where I grew up, the only time my neighbor ever spoke to me was to threaten me.. When women are out in public here, they are with others, are talking on a cell phone, or listening to their ipods. So you don't even have an opportunity to approach, even if you had the courage to. There have been some girls I probably would have sta rted talking to but for the ear buds in her ears. YOu literally would have to assault them to talk to them. I'm not willing to do that. I'm from N. Jersey. When I began approaching people, not just women, all people, I then became approachable too. Talking to people in various situations, waiting rooms, gas station lines, people anywhere, practicing how to start and hold a conversation successfully, gave me the confidence to approach women who weren't otherwise looking my way. It is called social engineering. It is a skill and if you aren't born assertive, you have to develop it. Talk loud and clear, don't mumble, be direct, not vague, make eye contact, not look down, use friendly body language, not shrink away, know how to start a conversation by enticing the other party to respond, open ended questions rather than close ended. It is helpful to have a variety of interests to find a commonality with someone else.
Author betamanlet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 I'm from N. Jersey. When I began approaching people, not just women, all people, I then became approachable too. Talking to people in various situations, waiting rooms, gas station lines, people anywhere, practicing how to start and hold a conversation successfully, gave me the confidence to approach women who weren't otherwise looking my way. It is called social engineering. It is a skill and if you aren't born assertive, you have to develop it. Talk loud and clear, don't mumble, be direct, not vague, make eye contact, not look down, use friendly body language, not shrink away, know how to start a conversation by enticing the other party to respond, open ended questions rather than close ended. It is helpful to have a variety of interests to find a commonality with someone else. You do realize that some people are on the autism spectrum and are not actually capable of doing those things you suggest. Not every can. So there are women that are alone, without engagement rings, not talking on their phones or listening to their ipods where you are? You don't see that where I live. Ever. I think in my 10+ years of going to bars, there was one woman ever that was alone that wasn't waiting for someone, that was willing to talk. Everywhere else, they are listening to ipods.
Buckeye Candy Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 You do realize that some people are on the autism spectrum and are not actually capable of doing those things you suggest. Not every can. So there are women that are alone, without engagement rings, not talking on their phones or listening to their ipods where you are? You don't see that where I live. Ever. I think in my 10+ years of going to bars, there was one woman ever that was alone that wasn't waiting for someone, that was willing to talk. Everywhere else, they are listening to ipods. Look, buddy, I offered you a solution. If you are unwilling to better yourself by either developing social skills (I never said it was easy to do this, it took me years) then you need to throw up your hands and say I give up and stop complaining about the injustices you face because of it. If you are going to make excuse after excuse for why you won't better yourself then you need to make your bed, lay in it and suck up the consequence. Life is what you make of it.
Author betamanlet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 Look, buddy, I offered you a solution. If you are unwilling to better yourself by either developing social skills (I never said it was easy to do this, it took me years) then you need to throw up your hands and say I give up and stop complaining about the injustices you face because of it. If you are going to make excuse after excuse for why you won't better yourself then you need to make your bed, lay in it and suck up the consequence. Life is what you make of it. I'm just stating reality. I'm sure others who live where i do can verify this. The question is, should I move? Probably yes, but my work is limited to here un fortunately.
skydiveaddict Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 You do realize that some people are on the autism spectrum and are not actually capable of doing those things you suggest. Not every can. So there are women that are alone, without engagement rings, not talking on their phones or listening to their ipods where you are? You don't see that where I live. Ever. I think in my 10+ years of going to bars, there was one woman ever that was alone that wasn't waiting for someone, that was willing to talk. Everywhere else, they are listening to ipods. listen my friend, you've GOTTA go for the alpha approach. i KNOW you can do it find hapiness for once
Author betamanlet Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 listen my friend, you've GOTTA go for the alpha approach. i KNOW you can do it find hapiness for once on new years eve i will read mystery method.
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