winniex Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) I broke up with my ex of a year last week. We ended up having a big talk which resulted in nothing to go over what went wrong. I knew that I was falling in love with him and knew that the love could never be returned to me. Basically I wasn't happy, he was frustrated and we couldn't meet at a middle ground. I offered counselling for us to go to, but he wouldn't consider it. He said that he was fed up and didn't want to try anymore as he put it, 'You dumped me'. I would have been willing to reconcile, but he wouldn't have it. So in the past week, I have been crying my eyes out at work and at home, not eating, sleeping (although I managed to sleep last night without a sleeping pill) have had to lean heavily on my friends, been working to fill in the time and take my mind off things and have had to re-juggle xmas and NYE due to the break up. So basically going through all the normal motions a woman goes through in a break up. Just because I initiated it, doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt. And all I have seen from him is a stoic face, a pragmatic approach and just absolutely no show of emotion to any of this. There has been no reaction that I can see. What I do know is that he went out the night I broke up with him and got home probably about 2am as I got a txt from him at 2.30am. I know that he has been out pretty much every day and night since it happened (so that would be a week) and seems to be having a great time. Does this mean that he doesn't care about me and the break up? We work in the same building and I bumped into him in the lobby. He came over like it was nothing and asked me how I was doing, what was in the box I had (he doesn't realise I got the box to put all the stuff of his at my house in), said that he had to leave to get to the post office and asked me again how I was doing. It was like we were friends, not ex lovers. I don't get it! He contacted me yesterday to see if I was busy so he could come to get his stuff. I was busy and told him so. Also told him that I wasn't sure if I was strong enough to see him again just yet. So he still has to come over, although I am tempted to put the box on his doorstep. He is now planning on doing it after xmas day. I don't know if I can handle seeing him again. He basically has nothing left to say to me, so he has told me. I wrote him a final 3 page letter outlining where I was coming from, with all my thoughts and feelings and the reasons why I have broken up with him. I also included in that, all the 'letter's I have written for him, but never gave. Those were like diary entries for when I was frustrated or angry over something to do with him. For me, that is closure that we are over and those are all the reasons why- in black and white. Does the break up mean anything to him? Edited December 23, 2009 by winniex adding more detail
baby86 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Hey, 1st things 1st, chin up (easier said then done im sure) He probably is upset about the break up and if he isnt then he's just cold hearted and you are better off away from that. If on the other hand he's anything like me then he finds it easy to put on a front and pretend like he's not bothered. I do this all the time, if something has upset me i can usually put up a brick wall, although things hurt when im on my own and im thinking when i am face to fae with the problem i canjust smile and walk away. so basically dear i really sympathise with you, its hard and you feel empty but i also sympathise with him. Ive been inhis situation and my pride means more ( so i pretend) then anything else
Author winniex Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 I don't know. I guess if he showed something, a sign of being upset with the break up, then at least I know that he cared somewhat about me. But I just don't know. It's christmas eve and it is killing me not being with him. I know I have done the right thing, but it still hurts like hell.
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