Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) After almost one month without contact, I received the following from him tonight, spread out over seven texts: "I told you no contact at all on my phone you lied said you were getting a new phone which you didnt. Stop trying to contact me or so help me I will have my phone company block your number and any other area code there. Understand? I have someone i really love now and stop ****ing it up by trying to reach out to me. No I dont want to be friends or anything just acknowledge this and get out of my life now. Forever. K? Thanks bye" 20 minutes later... "so thats all I wanted to say you almost ruined me so leave me be. Im kinda drunk but **** it go cry to your fag ass bitch girlfriend or whoever and go ****ing die" 20 minutes later... "ya your right I always loved kim and never stopped. Id put up with her over your bull***** anyday. But now I have someone else not kim or you and guess what Im actually happy!" .... I'm still shaking. For those of you who have read my story, you guys know how much I gave to this person. What did I do to deserve this? I'm just...speechless. I never thought him capable of so much hate. I responded a couple hours later when I saw the texts and spilled a whole bunch of venomous things I shouldn't have said either. I felt them, but it really did no good to respond in kind. I just feel so hurt that after everything, he would hate me like this. Why contact me to say this? I would much rather he had never said anything to me again than this. I wanted to remember him as a good person. It took me a month to forgive him for breaking things off the way he did and now this...ugh... Arabella Edited December 23, 2009 by Arabella adding info...
tVII Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 ya doesnt it suck when you actually forgive them then BAM! really it hurts because someone you that once cared for you would treat you like this but know: people change. don't question it. now is the time to let go and move on. do you deserve someone that would treat you like that? NO WAY.
Simon Attwood Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 After almost one month without contact, I received the following from him tonight, spread out over seven texts: "I told you no contact at all on my phone you lied said you were getting a new phone which you didnt. Stop trying to contact me or so help me I will have my phone company block your number and any other area code there. Understand? I have someone i really love now and stop ****ing it up by trying to reach out to me. No I dont want to be friends or anything just acknowledge this and get out of my life now. Forever. K? Thanks bye" 20 minutes later... "so thats all I wanted to say you almost ruined me so leave me be. Im kinda drunk but **** it go cry to your fag ass bitch girlfriend or whoever and go ****ing die" 20 minutes later... "ya your right I always loved kim and never stopped. Id put up with her over your bull***** anyday. But now I have someone else not kim or you and guess what Im actually happy!" .... I'm still shaking. For those of you who have read my story, you guys know how much I gave to this person. What did I do to deserve this? I'm just...speechless. I never thought him capable of so much hate. I responded a couple hours later when I saw the texts and spilled a whole bunch of venomous things I shouldn't have said either. I felt them, but it really did no good to respond in kind. I just feel so hurt that after everything, he would hate me like this. Why contact me to say this? I would much rather he had never said anything to me again than this. I wanted to remember him as a good person. It took me a month to forgive him for breaking things off the way he did and now this...ugh... Arabella So you acknowledge that the venomous things he said, he shouldn't have said. Yet you have retaliated with exactly the same venom? What did either of you do to deserve it? This is the kind of anger, projected outward, that is very often really felt at ourselves. It's to attack and cover up feelings that are contradictory to how we rationally and consciously see the situation.
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 i wouldnt be supprised it it wasnt him that sent them. If its out of character it might be an insecure GF going through his phone?? Just a thoughtx
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 So you acknowledge that the venomous things he said, he shouldn't have said. Yet you have retaliated with exactly the same venom? What did either of you do to deserve it? This is the kind of anger, projected outward, that is very often really felt at ourselves. It's to attack and cover up feelings that are contradictory to how we rationally and consciously see the situation. Oh, he did plenty to deserve all I said to him and then some. Read through some of my older threads. This kid has put me through hell since back in May. I did nothing but care and love him unconditionally. He hurt me and disrespected me in every imaginable way. The only reason why I don't think I should have said what I did is for my own self-respect. I didn't want to stoop to his level, and yet I did. Arabella
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 i wouldnt be supprised it it wasnt him that sent them. If its out of character it might be an insecure GF going through his phone?? Just a thoughtx I wish this were true but I know him and the way he expresses himself and that was definitely him. I have sent him a few emails since we broke up, and a letter, saying nothing but kind things. That I wanted him to be happy, that I would always be here if he needed me, and that ultimately I would like us to be friends, etc. I sent him like three texts in the past month (it's not like I was texting him every day or anything) to see how he was doing, to which he didn't reply. It's not out of character, it's simply a whole another person! He used to be one of the most polite, funny, nice people I've ever met. He rarely even used crass words (I probably did more than him!) This... whatever he has become, I have no idea who it is. Wow... Arabella
Simon Attwood Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Oh, he did plenty to deserve all I said to him and then some. Read through some of my older threads. This kid has put me through hell since back in May. I did nothing but care and love him unconditionally. He hurt me and disrespected me in every imaginable way. The only reason why I don't think I should have said what I did is for my own self-respect. I didn't want to stoop to his level, and yet I did. Arabella Fair enough, I didn't know your history. The last paragraph still applies however
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 look up narsissit on google. They have an amazing ability to behave like your ex........and mine
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 He texted me this morning being completely normal again saying that he had gotten all my messages this morning and couldn't remember what he had sent for me to respond like that. BS... he already used that excuse once. This time I'm done with him for good... I've seen him for the sort of person that he is and I don't ever want to have anything to do with him. God it hurts... but I'm so glad he did this because this is all the closure I needed. Arabella
quankanne Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 honey, block his number and then forget about him. Period. otherwise you're going to keep being the recipient of vile texts whenever he feels like talking smack to you.
Ilovecake Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 After almost one month without contact, I received the following from him tonight, spread out over seven texts: "I told you no contact at all on my phone you lied said you were getting a new phone which you didnt. Stop trying to contact me or so help me I will have my phone company block your number and any other area code there. Understand? I have someone i really love now and stop ****ing it up by trying to reach out to me. No I dont want to be friends or anything just acknowledge this and get out of my life now. Forever. K? Thanks bye" I'm confused. You haven't contacted him in a month but out of nowhere he's sending you messages saying "don't contact me" or did you start the chain of texts by contacting him and that's what he wrote back? If you truly haven't contacted him in a month and these messages came out of nowhere then I agree with most posters here. I would go beyond blocking him on your phone, I would get a new number. He sounds absolutely insane, dangerous insane, especially since he doesn't remember typing all of that, which I have a feeling he is lying about.
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 if i recall she has contacted him. I thought the same thing. He does sound nasty doesnt he??? arabella ( smashing name! very pretty) im pleased you can see the kind of destuctive man he is. You deserve much much much more. I send love and hope for a very very very exciting new year xxx
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) I'm confused. You haven't contacted him in a month but out of nowhere he's sending you messages saying "don't contact me" or did you start the chain of texts by contacting him and that's what he wrote back? If you truly haven't contacted him in a month and these messages came out of nowhere then I agree with most posters here. I would go beyond blocking him on your phone, I would get a new number. He sounds absolutely insane, dangerous insane, especially since he doesn't remember typing all of that, which I have a feeling he is lying about. No, as I said in a message above, I did contact him. I would occasionally email him (which he said was fine) just making chit chat, and sent him a couple texts asking how he was doing. He never responded to any of it in a -month- and then last night I got that out of nowhere. My last email was four days ago, and it was actually just to let him know I would not continue emailing because I was moving on and I felt the emailing was keeping me from doing so, but I wished him the best anyway. Then he sends this last night. He also said he was drunk in the texts, and I know he abuses pills. He's got a number of mental illnesses (bipolar disorder, ocd, adhd...) and he already used the "I don't remember" excuse before. I'm frankly appalled... like wow. I don't know how could I ever have loved this person? I never even saw a hint of this before... Arabella Edited December 23, 2009 by Arabella
Ilovecake Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 if i recall she has contacted him. I thought the same thing. He does sound nasty doesnt he??? arabella ( smashing name! very pretty) im pleased you can see the kind of destuctive man he is. You deserve much much much more. I send love and hope for a very very very exciting new year xxx Well if Arabella was the first to make contact than that's a completely different story. I can understand his anger, especially if he said he didn't want to talk to her before yet she still continues to bother him. I believe that's called stalking so she should not be surprised that he answers in anger. Some people just don't get it until you're really blunt with them.
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Well if Arabella was the first to make contact than that's a completely different story. I can understand his anger, especially if he said he didn't want to talk to her before yet she still continues to bother him. I believe that's called stalking so she should not be surprised that he answers in anger. Some people just don't get it until you're really blunt with them. Uhm that was really not the case... See my post above... Arabella
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 love............thats all. simple. giving and loving people are drawn to broken people. he is broken. Its not upto you to fix him. Work on you make it happen. I have no doubt you are beutiful. Look in the mirror and see it. In your eyes that is. My eyes go vivid blue when I am happy. My mates didnt see thet till he left and I had a good day. se how you are. love you. and eventually you will feel good he has gone. all my love xx
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 oh cake!! we all have weakness. NC is hard. slack?? xx
Ilovecake Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 No, as I said in a message above, I did contact him. I would occasionally email him (which he said was fine) just making chit chat, and sent him a couple texts asking how he was doing. He never responded to any of it in a -month- and then last night I got that out of nowhere. My last email was four days ago, and it was actually just to let him know I would not continue emailing because I was moving on and I felt the emailing was keeping me from doing so, but I wished him the best anyway. Then he sends this last night. He also said he was drunk in the texts, and I know he abuses pills. He's got a number of mental illnesses (bipolar disorder, ocd, adhd...) and he already used the "I don't remember" excuse before. I'm frankly appalled... like wow. I don't know how could I ever have loved this person? I never even saw a hint of this before... Arabella OK I'm sorry but you completely deserved that. What the hell, you keep emailing a person who wants nothing to do with you and ignores all your emails and then you're shocked that he's angry because you keep pestering him? What is wrong with you? Get on with your life and leave the guy alone. It doesn’t matter what he was like when you were together because you no longer are.
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) Oh, and btw... this morning when he contacted me, I told him to leave me alone and never text me again and he continued to text, saying that he didn't remember anything. He even said something like "great so now you hate me" etc. Trust me, this wasn't a case of me being a pest and him being blunt. He's just unstable and messed up. I'm going to see if I can get some sleep. I was up all night just shaking in anger. Feel so drained... but for once, I truly feel like I can put him behind me. Thanks everyone for the responses, especially nobmagnet for the beautiful words Arabella PS: Cake, say what you might, that's not how it happened. If you're going to judge me, try to read a little on my other threads, otherwise refrain yourself from responding. Thank you. Edited December 23, 2009 by Arabella
Ilovecake Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I know NC is hard but losing all self respect is even harder in the long run. Why would someone put so much time and effort into trying to be with a person who #1 is mentally ill and #2 doesn't want you in their life? The first thing she typed is there was no contact for a month, why would you start with that when it's not true.
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I know NC is hard but losing all self respect is even harder in the long run. Why would someone put so much time and effort into trying to be with a person who #1 is mentally ill and #2 doesn't want you in their life? The first thing she typed is there was no contact for a month, why would you start with that when it's not true. I clarified the specifics of the situation on the following posts. There was no contact from him. Again.. I never wanted to be with him again. I've moved on. I'm actually dating someone else as of a few days ago. Please just don't respond to this thread anymore. All you're doing is making more difficult an already difficult situation. Thanks. Arabella
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 hey I aint done yet! NC you know is right. For you. He........well. You know in your heart you need to move on and get on with your life, NC is the way. Cake has a point. Sorry but he/she does. He has gone and every bit of correspondece fom you is annoying to him. It doesnt mean he had the right to blast at you but he made it clear. Dont lower yourself. talk to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee xxxxxxxx
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I guess the whole situation is difficult to understand and empathize with without knowing what all was said and done. Doesn't matter. Moving on now. Nobody is going to convince me that saying those things to me is okay for sending one text a week ago saying "Have a good break, I hope you're doing well". Sorry, but no. Arabella
Ilovecake Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Arabella you are lying to yourself and everyone here, you are making excuses for your behavior. First it's NC for a month, then you say well I emailed and sent letters a few times in that month but it's OK because it wasn't every day and I said nice things. He didn't respond so naturally I thought I would try again. Do you not see what you are doing? The guy has every right to be pissed and if you have a new boyfriend you're screwing him over as well.
Author Arabella Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 You are clearly clueless as to my situation. I've DOCUMENTED everything I've done, every email, every text in another thread. I'm not lying to myself or to anyone. When we broke things off, he said we'd talk again some day and it was ok to email. I tried to keep in touch because I knew he was going through a very rough time with his life. He always liked reading my emails in the past. He told me to feel free to email. Incidentally, I'm not screwing anyone over. My new guy knows all about my ex because we were pretty close friends before we began dating. He knows I've tried to keep touch in order to be friends with him and supports whatever I do. Jesus. Why am I defending myself here when he's the one who treated me like dirt all along? And now I have to endure this on my own thread? Arabella
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