XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me.
baby86 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I just found out my boyfriend cheated on me. was it the once or a full blown affair?
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 i know how you feel. its very humiliating and self-esteem shattering. grieve it out and never allow yourself to go back to him. you will never be able to forget what he did. stay strong, keep busy and keep posting here so we can help you through it.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 It was once. I feel sick and have all day. I had to take 4 Melatonin to sleep last night and my heart keeps racing.
kizik Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Remember me? I'm sorry to hear this, B2B. If it was a long time ago and you can forgive him, I think maybe, maybe you can give him another chance. If it was recently and he shows no remorse, I'm not sure you can continue this relationship.
Awesome Username Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I'm so sorry to hear that. :c We'll be here for ya if you want to elaborate or talk about it. <3
stevejohnson1976 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 There is NO reason to continue this relationship...unless you are married and kids are involved - which doesn't seem to be the case. If you have any kind of self pride, you will always wonder WHEN (not if) it is going to happen again. There is no future in this relationship and there are PLENTY of us dudes out there who would never do this to you.
allina Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I'm so sorry that you're hurting *hugs* But you're not broken, you're just shocked and upset. You will get through this. Is this the same guy you have had problems with all along? The one having inappropriate conversations with a female friend? This may be a blessing in disguise, now maybe you'll see that he never treated you well to start with, and that you deserve better.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) It was in September. We had been together since July. We are long distance-3 hours apart. I just found out this happened last night. I told him it was over and haven't talked to him since. But every minute of the day, I feel sick. He is remorseful and says he wants to try it again and for us to wipe the slates clean on each other. You see, I had a situation where my ex touched me and I did not do much to stop it, so I am at fault, too but it was not sexual. What he did was almost sex and I had met the chick he did this with, so I have the images racing through my head of what went on. It also bothers me because, for all I know, I could have contracted an STD even though she gave him oral. I looked up information about it and it is still possible he could have contracted something from that. I am mad that I had no clue about this and therefore, even though it's unlikely, my health was put at risk. I told him last night on the phone that it was over. I can't deal with this pain and I know it would almost seem like an anisthetic to talk to him, but I'm forcing myself not to. What makes things worse is that yesterday BEFORE I found out about him cheating on me, I had sent him 3 love letters and a mini present. So he will probably be receiving this on Saturday. Fortunately, he was aware I was going to send him something this week and I wrote in the letter that I had hoped it would get there by today. So, fortunately he will know I sent it before this all went down. He blocked me on Facebook because he was so upset I would not give him another chance. I feel sick and I can't think and I want to stop feeling this way so badly. Edited to add: No this is not the same guy as before. Also edited to add: I feel so foolish about those letters. I had sent two letters in the package, as well as a Hannukah card which counts as a letter as I wrote a lot in it, and then sent a cute little gift. In the letters I paid many compliments and wrote many nice and sweet things. I feel like an idiot. Edited December 23, 2009 by XxBacktoBlackXx
Awesome Username Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 It was in September. We had been together since July. We are long distance-3 hours apart. I just found out this happened last night. I told him it was over and haven't talked to him since. But every minute of the day, I feel sick. He is remorseful and says he wants to try it again and for us to wipe the slates clean on each other. You see, I had a situation where my ex touched me and I did not do much to stop it, so I am at fault, too but it was not sexual. What he did was almost sex and I had met the chick he did this with, so I have the images racing through my head of what went on. It also bothers me because, for all I know, I could have contracted an STD even though she gave him oral. I looked up information about it and it is still possible he could have contracted something from that. I am mad that I had no clue about this and therefore, even though it's unlikely, my health was put at risk. I told him last night on the phone that it was over. I can't deal with this pain and I know it would almost seem like an anisthetic to talk to him, but I'm forcing myself not to. What makes things worse is that yesterday BEFORE I found out about him cheating on me, I had sent him 3 love letters and a mini present. So he will probably be receiving this on Saturday. Fortunately, he was aware I was going to send him something this week and I wrote in the letter that I had hoped it would get there by today. So, fortunately he will know I sent it before this all went down. He blocked me on Facebook because he was so upset I would not give him another chance. I feel sick and I can't think and I want to stop feeling this way so badly. Edited to add: No this is not the same guy as before. Oh, he'll know you sent them before. It's gonna ruin the Hell out of his day when he gets them, too. This seems to happen a lot with long distance relationships.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Do you think those letters and gift will make me look like an idiot? I know I should not care what he thinks. But today I was thinking about that package and just dreading it. How embarrassing. I'm thankful I had foretold him about it, dear lord.
Awesome Username Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 You should never feel bad about expressing your love any emotions. At the time, you sincerely felt that way and he actually does probably have those good qualities that you wrote about. If you had known that he was cheating, you would not have written it. I don't think you look like a fool at all. He'll likely feel like a fool when he realizes that he's lost a girl who cared about him that much. I don't wish him any harm or hard feelings, but that's probably what's going to happen. Also, don't worry so much about what you "look" like in this situation. Relationships either happen or they don't, and it's detrimental to keep score when the breakup happens. Nah, people who are confident send love letters and gifts. If you're true to your heart, and don't care about who cheated on who or who left who or games like that, you'll be a genuine person.
Author XxBacktoBlackXx Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I am just curious. Do you think when someone cheats, no second chance should be given?
Hot Carl Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I am just curious. Do you think when someone cheats, no second chance should be given? Some people do it. Sometimes it depends on the circumstances. I expect you'd find that if you did try, there would be a screaming voice in your head telling you you'll never be able to trust him. And also a lot of anger that doesn't go away easily. You'll probably find that it's impossible.
Madelf Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I am just curious. Do you think when someone cheats, no second chance should be given? Having been a cheater (several times actually), I began to realize that it was my way of breaking a relationship that just wasn't going anywhere. If course, I wasn't honest enough to just say it, so I had a fling, they found out, and THEY broke-off with me. In some cases I regret the pain I caused, but in others, it may have been more out of vengeance for the way they may have treated me at some point.
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