robert8 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Hi, I just want to hear your thoughts on how bad this actually is. I became very suspicious of my girlfriend who moved in with* me in Jan. I have never done something like this before, but I had a huge feeling she was cheating on me, so I snooped into her phone which is private, and read all of her text messages. I want to confess this to her but am scared she may leave.... What are your honest thoughts ?
Bryanp Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Did you find evidence that she was cheating or not?
Author robert8 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 She has had sex with atleast 2 different guys in the past 2 months or so. The day I found out I confronted her and said I think she has seen other guys, but she denied it, called me her soul-mate, and that she wants to be with me only. I think really I have the choice to just end it, or tell her that I snooped and end it. What do you think?
Bryanp Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Robert, You found out at the very least that she has had sex with at a minimum of two other men and put your health at great risk for STD's. You find out and she lies to your face and tells you she is your soul mate? You have a serial cheater who has no problem lying to your face. She has made a mockery of your relationship and apparently enjoys making you look like a fool. Your gut reaction proved correct. I would tell her you have checked her phone and found out what a two timing little liar she is and you have no desire to be with such a cheater and liar. Don't waste your time on somebody like this. You also need to get checked for STD's. It is time to move on brother.
Author robert8 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 I appreciate your input, I have been treated like absolute **** and I deserve better.
bentnotbroken Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Leave now before you get something you can't get rid of. Guilt over finding out the truth.....get over it.
Brokenlady Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I want to confess this to her but am scared she may leave.... You can't really want to stay with her, can you? If she leaves, good riddance. What you did was not terrible, it was justified. Her on the other hand, her actions are truly terrible.
Author robert8 Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) Thanks everyone, I am definately calling it off, am going to doctors 2morrow for std check, going to start eating again and put my focus back on my goals for the summer. I am going to gain my self-respect and self-assurance again. For how well I have treated her, and for how long I put up with so much crap, its her loss. Thank you all. R Edited December 23, 2009 by robert8
Bryanp Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 You are making the correct decision. I predict down the line you will meet someone who will have respect for you and your relationship. I also predict you will look back on this and wonder why you wasted so much time and energy on her. Always remember that you should judge people by their actions and not by their words. I wish you luck and I know you will be fine.
bittersweet memories Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 She has had sex with atleast 2 different guys in the past 2 months or so. The day I found out I confronted her and said I think she has seen other guys, but she denied it, called me her soul-mate, and that she wants to be with me only. I think really I have the choice to just end it, or tell her that I snooped and end it. What do you think? By the sounds of it she knows she can manipulate you into thinking or doing anything she wants. Don't be a fool!!
reservoirdog1 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 You're making the right decision. Sucks that it's happening right before the holiday season, but at least you'll be starting 2010 without being burdened by a cheating partner. Return the Christmas gift you bought her and spend the money on yourself instead. Oh, and one more thing... most likely, she'll try to manipulate you into feeling bad about your "breach of her privacy". That's textbook cheater behaviour upon being discovered. And it's completely irrelevant. Don't fall into a trap of feeling even remotely bad about that. You looked at her phone because you were suspicious about something, and your suspicions were confirmed. You were absolutely justified in having done so, especially given that it may well have saved your life. Stand firm, tell her it's over, and throw her cheating ass out.
Author robert8 Posted December 24, 2009 Author Posted December 24, 2009 Thanks guys and girls this has REALLY helped. Had blood test today and find out results next week. Spending Christmas with my family and new years with friends. Merry Christmas all
Space Ritual Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Good for you! Im very sorry this happened to you, but as already has been stated, it was better you found out now. Just in case you feel lonely over the holiday or even have an inkling of taking her back, just think back to the reason you had to go to the doctor and how angry and betrayed you felt as you had your blood work done. Your gut didn't lie to you, but incidentally how did she take the news that it was over between you two? Did she pull the "Invasion of Privacy" or did you just tell her it was over with giving her the obvious reason?
White Flower Posted December 28, 2009 Posted December 28, 2009 Hi, I just want to hear your thoughts on how bad this actually is. I became very suspicious of my girlfriend who moved in with* me in Jan. I have never done something like this before, but I had a huge feeling she was cheating on me, so I snooped into her phone which is private, and read all of her text messages. I want to confess this to her but am scared she may leave.... What are your honest thoughts ? You are living with her and sleeping with her. You have the right to know if she is sleeping with someone else. If this is a deal breaker for you, tell her what you know. Tell her anyway and that you won't stand for it. If you can forgive her, tell her you need complete transparency if you're going to ever have a future together. That means her cell phone stays in sight at all times.
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