SadandConfusedWA Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 As a result of this I can not stand them. All the guys that I have seriously liked in the past ended up falling for dominant, alpha females. It doesn't even matter if I am better looking or what the guy's personality is. Two of the guys were pretty passive and shy and like dominant females because it's just easier to talk to them.. OK, fine. So I started liking the guy who is very dominant and alpha himself (thinking that I will complement his personality). But no, he fell for an extreme version of alpha female that is 15 years older than me and significantly worse looking. It seems to ALWAYS happen to me. Despite what men say on LS, I have found that men in real life just adore bossy biatches. I am introverted, quirky with dark, sarcastic sense of humor (that most people find too dark actually) and I prefer to have a feminine and more submissive role in a relationship (though not to the extreme). I now have difficulty even being civil with bossy alpha females and they irritate me to no end. It especially comes through in the work setting and I avoid dealing with them as much as possible. On the other hand, I do not mind girls that are hotter than me and look like supermodels at all (as long as they are not too alpha). I have no idea what type of guy to look for anymore. It seems that beta males prefer alpha females and that alpha males prefer alpha females. Why can't anyone appreciate me for my uniqueness and quirkiness?
Kamille Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Hmmm. Intriguing. I find you extremely articulate here on LS, so I would imagine your personality would shine through in real life. Are you trying too hard to please the guys you like?
Yukikazi Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I actually like the somewhat shy types with dark sarcastic humor. We are out there.. maybe you just need to look in a different place?
boogieboy Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) Ill tell you the same thing I'd tell the "woah is me" guys here on LS. The problem isnt the alpha females, or the guys, its you. They are all successful, so theres nothing wrong with them. Either that or youre going after the wrong crowd. Star Jones wouldnt have much success at a goth party. You might want to befriend these alpha females so you can find out what they are doing right. Hating them just because they are doing better than you isnt going to help you. Keep in mind it might not be the bossy part of these women that the men like. Matter of fact, alot of guys looking for an easy lay - like women who are more aggressive, so they dont have to do as much work. Im pretty sure if you play your cards right, they will show you what it is about you that is turning these guys off. Edited December 23, 2009 by boogieboy
lecasanova Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 (edited) Hmm i like people with your personality. it's not always tru that alpha males fall for alpha females. people usualy do not like people to oppose their authority on ertain issues, that's why for me, despite being an alpha male myself, hates it when i meet the alpha female and they oppose my decisions. trust me, there's nothing wrong with females who are not alpha females, in fact, there are a lot more opportunities for females like you to end up with alpha males, since it seems like you almost have a.. fetish fr them? HA kidding(: but don't worry, you're probabl just having a bad run with guys who seem to have fetishes for alpha females. te only reason i see alpha females getting the guys is probably because they pursue the guys with much more.. vigour and determination? heh. otherwise, in every other sense, i see non-alpha females as ftw (: do update me on your situation, and if you need any more relationship advice, you can read my entries on my wordpress blog (: cheers and take care! Edited December 23, 2009 by lecasanova
Crazy Magnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I had to google alpha female, and from reading, I think I am one....not so sure that's an awesome thing, but I work with that I have! haha! I'm introverted and quirky, but I have learned how to work that to my advantage and I ROCK introverted and quirky. Heck yes, I'm a huge dork, and I make it look like it's a good thing. I'm very comfortable with who I am. I guess I'm the strong silent type. Nobody pushes me around, even guys. I think you can learn to be a bit of both. I'm probably around 98% at getting a second date and I've done some horribly quirky/nerdy things on first dates. Also, just plain horribly embarrassing. (Ever had sushi fly off your plate and hit the guy at the table next to you?!? yeah....I'm that girl....still got a second date though b/c I didn't act mortified.) It's possible to be silent but strong. Look for the balance.
Sam Spade Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 As a result of this I can not stand them. All the guys that I have seriously liked in the past ended up falling for dominant, alpha females. It doesn't even matter if I am better looking or what the guy's personality is. Two of the guys were pretty passive and shy and like dominant females because it's just easier to talk to them.. OK, fine. So I started liking the guy who is very dominant and alpha himself (thinking that I will complement his personality). But no, he fell for an extreme version of alpha female that is 15 years older than me and significantly worse looking. It seems to ALWAYS happen to me. Despite what men say on LS, I have found that men in real life just adore bossy biatches. I am introverted, quirky with dark, sarcastic sense of humor (that most people find too dark actually) and I prefer to have a feminine and more submissive role in a relationship (though not to the extreme). I now have difficulty even being civil with bossy alpha females and they irritate me to no end. It especially comes through in the work setting and I avoid dealing with them as much as possible. On the other hand, I do not mind girls that are hotter than me and look like supermodels at all (as long as they are not too alpha). I have no idea what type of guy to look for anymore. It seems that beta males prefer alpha females and that alpha males prefer alpha females. Why can't anyone appreciate me for my uniqueness and quirkiness? The way you describe yourself describes my gf , which needless to say, in my book means that you're da bomb, just like she is . I am anything but attracted to the "alpha females". I'd rather have sex with a lawn mower than with that. Depending on context I either ignore then, or give them the evil side eye, or pick fights just for laughs . Now quiet, quirky, nerdy, shy girl - that's adorable, and also a raging boner material .
aerogurl87 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 SadandConfused I don't know if your right about guys liking alpha females. My boyfriend and I actually had a conversation about this this morning because he was telling me about one of those reality Wife Swap shows where the wife was a total bitch and her husband paid for everything, took care of the kids, while she just did her own thing. He said he didn't get it and I guess that's part of why he likes me cause I'm sweet with a pinch of bitchiness when needed. But anyway, maybe your looking at the wrong type of guys or in the wrong places. I think alot of guys may be attracted to bitches because they seem to exude confidence. Then when they stay with them long enough they see that they want a less bitchy woman. See how long the guy you liked stays with his new woman, bet it won't be long if he's smart.
Sam Spade Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 I had to google alpha female, and from reading, I think I am one....not so sure that's an awesome thing, but I work with that I have! haha! I'm introverted and quirky, but I have learned how to work that to my advantage and I ROCK introverted and quirky. Heck yes, I'm a huge dork, and I make it look like it's a good thing. I'm very comfortable with who I am. I guess I'm the strong silent type. Nobody pushes me around, even guys. I think you can learn to be a bit of both. I'm probably around 98% at getting a second date and I've done some horribly quirky/nerdy things on first dates. Also, just plain horribly embarrassing. (Ever had sushi fly off your plate and hit the guy at the table next to you?!? yeah....I'm that girl....still got a second date though b/c I didn't act mortified.) It's possible to be silent but strong. Look for the balance. The so-called alpha females can be way more insecure than the quiet girl that knows what's up and what are her boundaries. My gf is as cute, shy, and submissive as they come, yet as it has become clear on several occasions she wouldn't tolerate being treated badly. So "alpha" really refers to pushiness and obnoxiousness rather than to any true measure of inner strength...
TheLoneSock Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 As a result of this I can not stand them. All the guys that I have seriously liked in the past ended up falling for dominant, alpha females. It doesn't even matter if I am better looking or what the guy's personality is. Two of the guys were pretty passive and shy and like dominant females because it's just easier to talk to them.. OK, fine. So I started liking the guy who is very dominant and alpha himself (thinking that I will complement his personality). But no, he fell for an extreme version of alpha female that is 15 years older than me and significantly worse looking. It seems to ALWAYS happen to me. Despite what men say on LS, I have found that men in real life just adore bossy biatches. I am introverted, quirky with dark, sarcastic sense of humor (that most people find too dark actually) and I prefer to have a feminine and more submissive role in a relationship (though not to the extreme). I now have difficulty even being civil with bossy alpha females and they irritate me to no end. It especially comes through in the work setting and I avoid dealing with them as much as possible. On the other hand, I do not mind girls that are hotter than me and look like supermodels at all (as long as they are not too alpha). I have no idea what type of guy to look for anymore. It seems that beta males prefer alpha females and that alpha males prefer alpha females. Why can't anyone appreciate me for my uniqueness and quirkiness? I think the problem is less that you get dumped for other women and more that you slap titles on everyone. Forget the invisible, pointless titles like alpha and beta, and just go for what you like. Keep going until you find what you like and they like you back for you. It's that simple. You say you want someone who appreciates your uniqueness and quirkiness. That someone could be anyone, whether they are alpha or beta doesn't matter. We're people in a dating game, not wolves in a pack.
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