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Posted

Been on loveshack quite a lot lately, the advice I've read seemed very honest so I figured I would give it a go.

 

So here is the deal. Ex broke up with me 5 months ago because she felt she wasn't ready for a relationship. We did the whole no contact deal, til she broke it. She would initiate contact from time to time, telling me she misses me and all that. Recently, we chatted through IM and she was telling me how lonely she felt and that she misses me, then asked if i was seeing anyone.

 

I flew off the handle and told her that it isn't ok to contact me and tell me she misses me when all she misses the affection. She replied back saying that it wasn't what she was trying to say and that it wasn't the best time to have a chat. I left her alone after that and have yet to hear back.

 

Is she just playing games and keeping me around? What the heck does she want!?!?

Posted

Lets start with what do you want?

  • Author
Posted

What do I want? In a perfect world, I would want to get back together and not just jump back into the relationship but let it develop in its own time.

 

In a not so perfect world, I want to know what she's thinking and if she's playing games than I would want to cut contact completely and move on.

Posted

Well perhaps you need sit down and have a talk then.

 

She broke up with you, so she needs to prove that the problems that plagued your relationship have been fixed and what shes done to fix them.

 

If it is to work again, which it can and can be stronger, has to start slow and rebuild. Like you said you can't just jump back into it.

Posted

It really doesn't matter what she wants. She has proven herself to be fickle, manipulating and emotionally abusve. Cut off all contact for good. Don't respond to her again in any way.

  • Author
Posted

I do want to have a talk, but I'm afraid to bring up the matter. I wish she would just be upfront and clear about it instead of giving me little hints and leaving me to over-analyze them.

Posted

It is hard to know what she wants, as she is being very cagey and coy. She may just want to make sure you are "still there" as her safety net. I think it was good to show her that her crazy making behavior was ticking you off. Then she played another "game" by saying it wasn't a good time to talk.

 

It is always difficult to be the dumpee in situations, because the dumper holds all the cards as far as knowing motivation for obscure behaviors. If she couldn't just come out and say she made a mistake and wants to get back together after all this time, I would go NC with her.

  • Author
Posted

Thanks for your words of wisdom guys. It's hard deciding what to do when you love and care about a person so much. I decided that I would just not contact her til she's ready to talk because heaven forbid I come across as "pushy."

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