Am I a Schizo or just slightly dillusional?

[dennisflorida]

i think I may have a problem. I have no money to go see a shrink

or a psychologist but i would really like to.

 

The main reason for this post is, I get a lot of thoughts in my brain that

don't make sense in reality. Like, I make myself up to be something that

in reality, i'm not. I go thru periods thru the week where I feel great

during the week, like I got it all together, i'm a great artist, i'm gonna hit

it big soon...Yet, I haven't been doing anything to get there.

 

I want to be a better artist, but i havent been practicing, drawing,

painting or anything for months. Yet, I have hopes that I might score

some sort of awesome Art Graphic design gig. How? I just keep thinking in

my brain about this so-called future time when I land a great job being

a graphic designer working with other artists and bands, skate companies,

etc...But i'm doing nothing about it.

 

I keep thinking it's going to happen, and I see myself richer and more

successful and buying a house and being able to buy better clothes

because I have an awesome new fun job, But i'm not doing anything to

get there. I walk around thinking all these weird things and even lie to my

friends about working on projects and thinking in my head that, "I'm talented,

I'm gonna make it, I'll score a cool gig soon".

 

 

I think i'm losin git because all i've been doing is working at my same

job that has nothing to do with graphic design, worrying about $$,

not drawing, not painting, not designing anything, sitting in a weird

depression some days and high on life other days because I'm convinced

i'm going to make it soon.

 

What's wrong with me?

Edited December 22, 2009 by dennisflorida

[imani]

You have to keep putting action behind the dreams. It would also be helpful to put yourself out there more in networking. This way you can be around those who are in your industry and who could notify you of a job opening that you do want.

 

Try to draw something everyday, even if its just a little sketch of a tree or an eye. The awesome job is not going to fall in your lap, especially in this economy, by just dreaming about it. I love the that saying that goes something like don't talk about it, be about it.

 

Take baby steps and one thing will lead to the next. You have to work for it. There's really no short cut, but I'm sure you already know that. Besides, you're a creative type. Its normal to doubt your talents at times. Maybe that's your "problem". Are you scared to actually be successful doing what you like to do? I know some people like this. They are a little afraid of becoming successful. Are you afraid of actually landing your dream job as oppose to dreaming about it?

Edited December 23, 2009 by imani
You're not crazy nor delusional. You're probably just a dreamy Pisces.

[georgejungle]

Scared? Yes and no, i guess. Maybe i do fear being thrusted

into it feeling inadequate, not as good as the pros.

 

I know i have skills. I've been told that i'm a great artist before.

I've had people want me to work on their design stuff in the past.

I'm not schooled and my skill is at a stand still because I don't

practice. I guess that's my fear...not being able to have the walk

to back up the talk when I meet people.

 

I have journals i found from two years ago, complaining to myself

about the same thing i'm complaining about here. And even then I

was telling myself "I need to get on the ball"..."I need to practice

and make it happen". But here i am, still nothing.

 

Yet, I can DAYDREAM about it all day long, i kid you not. And i'll

just tell myself "i'll get to it soon" and what a day it will be when I

get a cool design job and people will want to work with me and just

a bunch of nonsense because, I'm not doing anything to further

myself.

 

I think maybe I feel a responsibilty to work hard to support my famaily

and my wife and not take any risks.

[2sure]

Hopes and dreams are fine and not delusional.

But having them is not the same as reaching for them.

Ambition is a requirement for success and not everyone has it. Thats OK...as long as your expectations are simple.

So, you have to decide.

 

If you cannot muster up the ambition to reach your hopes and dreams via action...can you maybe muster up just the energy to at least start putting one foot in front of the other?

 

The reason I say to just try to start going through the motions is that sometimes when our goals seem too hard to reach we end up overwhelmed instead of ambitious. BUT by taking baby steps, we still can get somewhere...even if its to the point where you decide: You know what? I'm not driven enough for this path, lets change it.

[GrayClouds]

I suggest buying the book by Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird. It talks about how to be a writer but any artistic endeavor would be appropriate.

 

The story behind her book title is about her brother, who put off until the last minute writing a paper about birds; at last sitting down to write it, he is overwhelmed by how much there is to say, about so many birds, in so little time. And their father drapes his arm around the boy and says, "Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird."

 

 

I suspect in your case, currently desire idea of being a great graphic designer is greater then the actually desire to create great designs. It is why games like "Guitar Hero" is so popular. It allow people to pretend to play the guitar without the hard work and repetitive failings of learning how.

[Ilovehim]

you are not schizophrenic...schizophrenia is aserious mental disorder...you dont have a mental disorder...just dreams without plans...dont worry, you're normal...

 

i have been studying psychological disorders so trust me, you would KNOW if you were schizo...

[User Named]

My ex is a paranoid schizophrenic. You're not. Could you be a narcissist? Or manic depressive? Have you researched either online?