asdf90 Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 It seems to me there are more guys on here than girls regarding getting their exes back. Speaking as a girl, I think once a girl breaks up with a guy, it’s pretty final. Girls think and think things through for a long time (months) before doing the actual break up so by the time the guy hears it, it’s been done for good as far as the girl is concerned. My question is, do guys break up with girls with as much thought? Is it less/more likely a guy comes back after a break up than a girl? And what are the reasons, besides the sex and loneliness?
DustySaltus Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Speaking as a girl, I think once a girl breaks up with a guy, it’s pretty final. Girls think and think things through for a long time (months) before doing the actual break up so by the time the guy hears it, it’s been done for good as far as the girl is concerned. I went from being engaged and making wedding plans with my ex to being kicked out of the apartment within 72 hours..not months, hours. No cheating, she was snooping through my emails and thought I would abandon her. So what happened from a girl's perspective?
Author asdf90 Posted December 22, 2009 Author Posted December 22, 2009 I went from being engaged and making wedding plans with my ex to being kicked out of the apartment within 72 hours..not months, hours. No cheating, she was snooping through my emails and thought I would abandon her. So what happened from a girl's perspective? there are always exceptions. but my guess is something's been going on in her head for a while if she felt the need to snoop through your emails. it seems like she didn't trust you (her fault or yours, i wouldn't know, depending on the situation), and that is bound to cause things to blow up - lack of trust by either or both parties.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Speaking as a girl, I think once a girl breaks up with a guy, it’s pretty final. Girls think and think things through for a long time (months) before doing the actual break up so by the time the guy hears it, it’s been done for good as far as the girl is concerned. Wow I don't think I agree with this at all. Firstly it is a huge generalization and I don't think one can generalize on this topic. Secondly I know many women will give their men a second, third and fourth chance, because they are ever hopeful that their love was not misplaced. In my experience it's the guys who once they close the door they just keep walking.
TheLoneSock Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 It seems to me there are more guys on here than girls regarding getting their exes back. Speaking as a girl, I think once a girl breaks up with a guy, it’s pretty final. Girls think and think things through for a long time (months) before doing the actual break up so by the time the guy hears it, it’s been done for good as far as the girl is concerned. My question is, do guys break up with girls with as much thought? Is it less/more likely a guy comes back after a break up than a girl? And what are the reasons, besides the sex and loneliness? No, most of the time we don't put as much thought into it. This is because guys are for the most part more decisive about things in life. We won't stew over a decision for months, we just do it. And guys tend to go back to their ex girlfriends a lot easier than girls do. As far as the reasons go, it's mostly just for sex/loneliness. Which is a testament to how much thought they really put into ending it.
Zeegagge Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Ah man, well in dealing with my recent breakup i've talked to my ex as well as a lot of friends both male and female. My ex definitely lost her feelings for me long before we broke up. She tried and tried to make it work for her too but it just wasn't. I tried too, maybe not hard enough, but I don't think there's anything we could have done. A lot of my female friends say they are the same way. They decide they want to leave and then get over it before breaking up. That's what makes it so easy for her now and so hard for me. Just a casual nonchalant 'we're broken up now' and then moving along. Very hard for me. Truthfully though, she shed some tears for me, a lot actually. When we were still together but it wasn't working for her we would talk about and she would cry and cry when she felt it wasn't working out. Not that I delight in her misery, but it does tell me that I truly did mean something to her. After that she would go right back to being lovey dovey all over me again. That would last for a while. I felt things were good with a few little bumps. I thought she couldn't leave me. Well she did. Talk about mixed signals! Either way, yah, it has been my experience that many girls think about it, ponder it and move on emotionally before the end of the relatonship. By that time they're sure. It can be painful. However, YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE THIS HAPPENING! If you keep your eyes open and you know your partner at all (as you should by now), and you know how to read signals then you can see it plainly and obviously. At this point, if you're good, and you're on top of your game, I mean waaaaay on top, then you might still have a fighting chance. Ooooohhh you gotta be good though. When I say good I don't mean overdo it with the wine and roses either. A little of that is ok. I mean you have to make her laugh, you have to respond to every single thing she says with more than a one word answer. You have to ask her questions about her day to day life all the time. You have to make eye contact with her when you talk to her. You have to be confident and decisive. Then one night- timing is key for this, make sure its a time when your other magic is working a little bit and shes into you- you have to lay in bed together with the lights low, hold her in your arms and tell her you want to hold her like that forever. Then say you want to know everything about her and talk to her and talk and talk, all before you get to the slow sweet sex you're about to start with. A little of that and then just go crazy on her, let it all out, let your emotions take over. Do all of this BEFORE IT"S TOO LATE, and you might just might have a chance. ;-)
sunrae Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I know for me, being a female, I think about it long and hard, because once you take that step and say you want to break it off, there might not be any going back. As for guys, I'm clueless.
Ilovecake Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 I obviously don't know for sure but since my breakup I've been reading a lot on the subject (as I'm sure many of you have). The consensus seems to be that like you said women tend to analyze things deeper and guys tend to act on their immediate gut feeling without much thought. I also have a lot of male friends who seem to be pretty open with talking about their relationships and I can tell you just about all of them have regretted at least one breakup and said they acted on a feeling without much contemplation and now are very sorry they did. This might all be coincidence but I don’t think so.
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