Beco Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Hello all, I had been seeing a guy for about 6 months, there had been ups and downs in the relationship but things had started to get back on track. I had only spoken to him on friday and saturday and he sounded so happy and was looking forward to spending christmas with me and my family. He was due to stay today, but yesterday I got a text that said 'I can't do this, I still love my ex.' that was it, nothing else. I wanted to know abit more than that, to which he answered 7 hours later that he had just found out his ex had left him for someone else when they broke up in the summer, but that he thought the world of me but couldn't help how he felt. He thought the world of me and yet he couldn't tell me to my face?? He texted this morning saying 'never to contact him again' I am gutted. I had been nothing but nice and understanding and even when that text came through I didn't lower myself with anger or abuse and yet I was still treated like **** I cannot believe this has happened my parents had got a room ready, everyone was looking forward to meeting him. To make matters worse, I went xmas shopping on saturday and he was only too willing to tell me what he wanted for presents, I spent money on him that I didn't have. I need to know why???? I feel like such a fool and struggle to believe that people like this are real.
singlegirl Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Any of this seem familiar? http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Commitment-Phobic-Men&id=2708064
LovelyDaze Posted December 22, 2009 Posted December 22, 2009 Hello all, I had been seeing a guy for about 6 months, there had been ups and downs in the relationship but things had started to get back on track. I had only spoken to him on friday and saturday and he sounded so happy and was looking forward to spending christmas with me and my family. He was due to stay today, but yesterday I got a text that said 'I can't do this, I still love my ex.' that was it, nothing else. I wanted to know abit more than that, to which he answered 7 hours later that he had just found out his ex had left him for someone else when they broke up in the summer, but that he thought the world of me but couldn't help how he felt. He thought the world of me and yet he couldn't tell me to my face?? He texted this morning saying 'never to contact him again' I am gutted. I had been nothing but nice and understanding and even when that text came through I didn't lower myself with anger or abuse and yet I was still treated like **** I cannot believe this has happened my parents had got a room ready, everyone was looking forward to meeting him. To make matters worse, I went xmas shopping on saturday and he was only too willing to tell me what he wanted for presents, I spent money on him that I didn't have. I need to know why???? I feel like such a fool and struggle to believe that people like this are real. So sorry, Beco. I know how it hurts. Most of us on LS had our exes act the same way...one day they were a dream come true and POW!!! they tell us it's over. I am probably about to disappoint you with this but Beco, you may never ever know why. Don't try looking for the answer because it doesn't matter. Just think. If you ask your ex why he broke up with you..what answer is going to make it feel better? No matter the reason, he doesn't want you to fix it and he still wants to be broken up with you. That's what I've learned...the hard way. We need to have you go NC. Do not contact him at all. The ball is in his court and he must strike next. He needs to be the one to contact you to apologize, get stuff he left behind and/or make it up to you somehow. Often times, we dumpees feel we can fix the break-up if we just knew what happened. No, that relationship died for you to be born..take it as a gift.
Author Beco Posted December 23, 2009 Author Posted December 23, 2009 Thank you both for taking the time to help me put. I cannot believe for one second he would ever contact me again, he sounded so angry, like I was the worst person in the world. I just hope to God that one day he wakes up and thinks I treated (me) like cr*p I didn't deserve what I got dished out. Granted dumping someone/anyone is never easy but from a man of 38 I expected more, I expect better than a text.
p01130 Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 Wow, sorry to hear about your ordeal. I broke up yesterday, but I could never deal with a person who doesn't have the courage to do it face to face, but uses email, text, etc. Just spend all the time you have with friends and family and it'll all work out in your favor in the long run. That's what I'm doing..
nobmagnet Posted December 23, 2009 Posted December 23, 2009 oh what an utter utter sh*t he is!!!!!!!!!! Take heart my love if at the age of 38 he is immature enough to end a relationship that way??????????? Well stone the crows you are indeed well shot of him! Im so sorry for your pain and bewilderment. What a poo bag?? big hugs to you xx
singlegirl Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Beco mine was/is 36 and the **** he pulled was childish. I went out with some girlfriends and he made a party. He had been in his flat 4 weeks but who was at the party? The two Turkish girls who lived upstairs, that's who. This was after he told me about his ex and I said he was making me feel insecure in the relationship.... God knows what they think. I am sorry you are in so much pain. I am also in pain but I know we will survive. Please make the most of the people who love you this Christmas. I shall take this opportunity to be grateful for my daughter's love and support. She is always there for me. She has my back. These guys didn't have our back did they? Big hug xx
heartbr0ken1 Posted December 24, 2009 Posted December 24, 2009 Honey I know the heartache. I also got dumped via text message. He didn't say he wanted to breakup, but he gave me the "I need space" and yadda yadda yadda. We deserve a lot better and a lot more standup guys. 2010 is a brand new year. Rejoice!
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