Why is everyone initially convinced that their situation is different?

[lemonlegs]

I've been strung along by my ex for 5 months AFTER we broke up. I love him, he was my first love. Everything was great at first, but theng gradually he stopped being the sweetest guy in the world and started doing things that made me feel as though he didn't even love me, or didn't know what love was. In the end, HE broke up with me, which is ironic cause I never wanted to date him in the first place, and everyone knows I can do way better than him (Sorry to sound conceited, but its true... lookwise, lifewise... in general anyways). anyhoo, I was hopelessly devoted to him still, and let him string me along for 5 months, thinking it was different. Finally, something big happened, where I apparently screwed him over even though this is after him telling me he doesn't want to have anything with me (again) despite telling me he loves me and wanting to always be intimate with him. Then I realize, hey, my situation is no different than what my friends told me they went through.

 

Now my best friend is giving her ex a chance even though he sits on facebook telling me they have nothing in common and that he doesn't even get off while they're having sex.. but again, my friend likes to think that her situation is magicaly different. Heaven forbid he plays games with her, it's really him just loving her and wanting to be with her no matter what he does or says. He can tell her time and time again that he doesn't want anything, but as long as he cries and says that he wants it, she'll give it to him. This sh** really pisses me off...

[nobmagnet]

welcome to relationships!

 

sorry to say but until we all get a bit of live experience though our own and others relationships its a harsh and cruel world to an extent.

 

A peice of advice from and old dear........get to know yourself. Get to understand your values. find peace in your heart and then you will shine.

 

You sound young (sorry if im wrong i wouldnt like to patronise you in any way) Its an information overload time as far as yours and your mates relationships twist and turn try to look at the different senarios and learn a little from each of them

 

Hey it wont stop people stamping on you in the future but if you are strong in your self worth............you will recover quicker

 

respect to you my love.sorry he was such a turd.

 

xxxxxxx

[lemonlegs]

Thanks, I really appreciate it

 

I am young, so it's okay. That was my first relationship and it hurts like hell. It's weird becuase I feel as though I do have confidence, sometimes even over confident, but when it comes to him, I feel so small and unwanted.

[kickintheaz]

Thanks, I really appreciate it

 

I am young, so it's okay. That was my first relationship and it hurts like hell. It's weird becuase I feel as though I do have confidence, sometimes even over confident, but when it comes to him, I feel so small and unwanted.

 

LL, sorry to hear your story.. esp as a first relationship.. that is SO not the first impression ya want of them at all!..

 

I'm probably a bit ahead of ya in this game and I let my ex string me along for.... oooh, we're going on 9 months now!!! its just getting easier, in a way, to deal with. (so yeah, sometimes ya don't listen to your own lessons learned!)

 

Look, this is a bad experience, but don't let it put ya off, ya already know ya have the confidence, as to how ya feel when it comes to him.. forget that. You are not small and not unwanted.. Ya'll find someone who will make you feel 10 foot tall and very wanted.. in time..

 

now ya know what ya DON'T want in a man.. take that to no 2, 3, 4 etc..

 

at the moment, do your grieving, anger, denial, acceptance, bargaining.. and then pick yourself up, dust yourself down and see what the world throws at you..

 

and yep, despite what we thinkg, all our situations are fundamentally the same, with slight detail variations, but when ya going through it you refuse to believe that anyone could know what you are feeling, what you need to hear, etc etc..

 

then ya come onto LS and realise.. hmmmm, its NOT that different!

 

we're all a little bit but we know we all come out as a bouncing

[nobmagnet]

yes my love.

 

fee l like your mum here.........pain might happen again might not! love you. its not wrong trust me. i wish i hadmore respect for me in the past.............but I wouldnt have 3 amazing kids! who am i to dictate and i wouldnt

 

learn love and live my sweet

 

xx

[curiousnycgirl]

he sits on facebook telling me they have nothing in common and that he doesn't even get off while they're having sex..

 

People actually put such things on facebook?! I had no idea! Won't he look like a HUGE fool getting back with her after posting those things?

 

I think she should take him back for one day, so that the next day she can say - yup I keep trying but he really has no clue what to do with a girl!

[HeavenOrHell]

Yeah you're right, I thought we were special, yeah right, so special I'm dumped 18 years later, cheers than.

[love_confusion]

I was strung along for almost a year. Whenever we talked, I hoped he would say that he wanted to get back together (I initiated the break up due to a very bad communication problem, which led to a misunderstanding...it was stupid). In the end, he used me and got what he wanted...I never got what I wanted and wasted a year. At this point, I'm still upset about what happened, but I'm more upset with myself. Upset for not being strong enough to move on when I should've and strong enough to stand up for myself when I knew what he was doing was wrong.